Examples from my life:
“Stop licking the mirror.”
“Why are you humping my laptop?”
and
“Don’t whip your mother with a dirty diaper! It’s not nice.”
Examples from my life:
“Stop licking the mirror.”
“Why are you humping my laptop?”
and
“Don’t whip your mother with a dirty diaper! It’s not nice.”
“Don’t put cheese on your crown”
I’m sure I have a million more, but this is the first one that comes to mind.
‘Because I said so’ - I hated getting that from my mother, now I use it :sigh:
‘Don’t wear pj’s in the shower’
‘Don’t give the dog Flaming Hot Cheetos’
I’m loving these!
As for “because I said so,” I tried it on my 6yo a few weeks ago, and she replied, “That doesn’t make any sense!”
My favorite was “Please throw up in my hands!”
In the “crazy things you said quoting your parents” subset, I remember the first time I said “If you’re cold, do a little work and you’ll warm up.”
Kill the children and sell their organs for beer money?
“Did you go poopey?”
Try “Because that’s how I roll.”
I believe I may have said some of these as recently as this morning:
“Please don’t bite Daddy in the boob.”
“No, you can’t have chocolate Easter bunny heads for breakfast.”*
“Your face is gonna freeze like that, you know.”
“OH MY GOD THE CAT IS NOT A TOY!”
“Who put this peanut butter sandwich on the laptop?”
“Oh dear GOD, what IS that SMELL?”**
“Let me wipe your butt first”
“Hold still and let me pick your nose.”
“Stop molesting the dog.”
Last week my 2-year-old son said “Because is not an answer.”
Don’t shove [peas, pennies, pencils, etc] up your nose.
“Don’t walk on the cat!”
“No, your car may not have a cookie.” (He was trying to get more cookies by telling me that his toy car wanted one. I’m torn between being proud of his ingenuity - he’s only 2! - and thinking that we’re in for it - he’s only 2.)
“…I said STOP looking at your sister. I mean it Dal, stop now.”
“DON’T MAKE ME STOP THIS CAR AND TURN AROUND!”
I can’t believe I have actually uttered these words, and yet.
Overheard: ‘‘If you don’t stop crying, I’m going to make you play!’’
I know. Me too!
“You do not call your mother ‘woman.’”
From yesterday.
‘No honey, we don’t need a sugar daddy, we need sugar FOR daddy’ (actually this wasn’t me but I overheard it in the grocery store a couple of weeks ago)
Don’t lick the radiator.
Let me sniff your bum.
Let me get that big booger out of your nose.