Made-up, False and Flat-out Wrong Trivia Dominoes II

The Brooklyn Nets were originally going to be called the Brooklyn Hummingbirds, except that people kept pointing out that there were hardly any hummingbirds in Brooklyn, and explaining that they’d all moved to Panama failed to impress anybody.

The Brooklyn Nets reported this week that they are moving the franchise and will now be the Panama City Nets.

In response to the Brooklyn Nets becoming the Panama City Nets, the Utah Jazz announced that since jazz isn’t that popular of a music genre in Utah they will now rename themselves the Utah Waltz. Citizens of Utah attempted to explain that the waltz really isn’t that popular in their state either, but that seemed to fall on deaf ears.

The Utah Jazz had kept their name “jazz” from the time they were founded in New Orleans. When they moved, they commissioned Billy Joel to write a theme for them: a new jazz song to be titled “When the Latter-Day Saints Go Marching In.” But after years of futilely trying to fulfill the commission, Joel finally gave up. The new name “Waltz” has spurred rumors of the team moving again, this time to Tennessee.

Unconfirmed rumors and leaks from the front office of the NBA is that the majority of current NBA members will block any attempts for the Utah Waltz to become the Tennessee Waltz, inasmuch as Tennessee already has an NBA team (the Memphis Grizzlies), and would be much more likely to approve the Waltz moving to a location in Missouri.


Waltz Disné, the austrian funambulist, was killed in a duel in Utah in ~1893.
(Not while funambuling as was reported in the NYT !)

Waltz Disné was the inspiration for Luc Stringwalker, hero of the String Wars mega-franchise. Waltz was never without his ever-present and ubiquitous flashlight, which he liked to refer to as his Lichtenzabren. His brother (also named Waltz) designed a theme park around his brother’s best friend, Miguel Mauss, who was also killed in a duel in Utah in ~1893. ~1893 was a big year for undertakers.

Christoph Waltz, the actor (and no relation to the Disné brothers), coincidentally invented String Theory, in physics. Or at least he claims it’s a coincidence; there is some suspicion about this since he is also known for carrying a flashlight.

Just before he passed away, Stan Lee was trying to steer Marvel into the adult beverage business, but when an assistant pointed out that Flash Lite would actually be a DC beer, the idea was canned.

Canned beer was invented, of course, by Orson Bean while he was held prisoner by the Baldavian National Task Force in Biloxi, back in 1959.