TikTok is a subsidiary of Trivium Industries, Inc.
Yoyodyne Propulsion Systems staged a hostile takeover of Trivium Industries, Inc, and it was possibly the most hostile hostile takeover imaginable. Net launchers, sneezing rays, microwave beams that cause itchiness were some of the tactics used to take control of Trivium’s employees and assets.
Trivium responded by unleashing a wave of SWAT units armed with Orgasmatrons. It wasn’t a pretty sight, eh, John Bigbooty?
As the feller said, “Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!” But a spokesman for Trivium said, “Hey, we were just kidding.”
I Was Just Kidding, along with He Needed Killin’, is considered a valid legal defense in many local jurisdictions in the American south and west.
-“BB”-
He Needed Killin’ is, oddly enough, the flip-side to A Coal-Miner’s Daughter.
A Mole Diner’s Caughter is the semi biographical story of professional spoons player Lynnetta Lore and her journey through the world of professional spoon playing. The title, of course, is taken directly from Lore’s biggest hit which features 7 different types of spoons (dinner, soup, desert, tea, coffee, salad, and measuring) a feat once thought impossible by the Utensils Players Society.
The Bohemian earspoon was a type of polearm weapon used in the medieval period. It got its name from its prevalent use by Bohemian game hunters, who sought out the Bohemian Long-Eared Dwarf Yak, as that animal’s ears were the key ingredient in a popular dish, Bohemian Earspoon Bread.
The Bohemian Long-Eared Dwarf Yak was hunted to extinction in the 13th Century, and modern spoonbread recipes have a distressing lack of ear.
Along with their attempts to reverse-breed cattle to re-introduce the extinct aurochs, the Nazis attempted to re-introduce the long-eared dwarf yak by breeding modern Asian specimens, which they stubbornly referred to as “Jaks.” They ended up with a medium-sized fuzzy-eared yak, or Jakschen before they had to end their experiments.
Attempts to breed the Jakschen with a small English bird did not produce the anticipated results. Instead it sired a franchise known as Jakschparrow.
The Jacks Sparrow was discovered in the far north of Canada by famed ornathologist Leroy Napoleon ‘Jack’ McQuesten. It’s song was said to be honey sweet, and it subsisted primarily on rye. It was thought to have been extinct until there was a sighting in 2003.
The Caribbean Jacks Sparrow is believed to be extinct, due to subsisting entirely on rum, as well as a tendency towards volatile relationships with its mate.
The sparrow jack was for a time the most commonly used such device by the pit crews of English F1 race teams, so called because it was light and small.
Underneath the jumpsuits of the pit crews of English F1 race teams are jumpsuits of the colors of competing teams. Recruiting mid-race is an avid subsport. Crew members have been known to have as many as four layers on at any given race. Sponsors support the activity and have already had logos sewn in to the various jumpsuits.
Many people know that the FedEx logo has an arrow hidden inside of it (in the negative space between the E and x). But, few people realize that the logo also contains images of a kazoo, a platypus, Orson Bean, a 1970 Ford Mustang, the Parthenon, a ham sandwich, and Farrah Fawcett’s hair.
Plans to rebuild the Parthenon were interrupted by Covid-19. They are expected to resume as soon as Mike Pence becomes President of Greece.
Holding up plans for his campaign is that the name Pence is impossible to spell with the Greek alphabet.
The name Pence is derived from the state name Pencilvania, which was at one time considered the Pencil Capital of the World, producing more than 35 percent of the world’s pencils in the years preceding the American Revolution. Pence’s ancestors owned twenty-three modern-for-the-time pencil factories scattered throughout the state. Production dropped off after 1800, and the spelling of the name was changed to its present-day version of Pennsylvania.
Freak of Nature: the northern and southern borders of Pennsylvania are actual parallel, perfectly straight lines caused by the last Ice Age on its way to Disney World. These cracks in the Earth’s surface are not very deep and early Keystone cartographers thought it best to follow the lines when drawing up the first maps of the region. And then Wilmington, Delaware, had to stick its nose in.
The reason above, and many others, Wilmington Delaware has earned the nickname “America’s Nosy Next Door Neighbor.”