Sheep dip was served with sheep chips at the Annual Coprohagists Anonymous Banquet.
Coprohagists Anonymous was founded in 1882 by Jed Wangthorne III of
Crumbone Boulevard, Blawnox, PA who wishes to remain anonymous.
Most people who joined Coprohagists Anonymous quickly resigned when they discovered that the organization had nothing whatsoever to do with the consumption of haggis and that the name was the result of a misunderstanding with the printer when the official letterhead was created.
-“BB”-
Even worse misunderstandings arose when Wangthorne’s great-grandson Irving tried to pitch a TV series called The Coprophiles. First, people thought he meant The Copro Files; second, TV hadn’t been invented yet.
Fallout from the Coprophiles misunderstanding continued a year later, when Herman Boomlicker went to the same executives for the network that didn’t exist and attempted to pitch a show called The Cobra Files, about the adventures of an elite spy team called the Cobra Squad. He didn’t make it past telling them the proposed title before, in a kneejerk reaction, they threw him out the window.
The Boomlicker Defenestration is a chess gambit which involves sacrificing
the queen early in the game for no apparent reason.
During his last official match in 1975, Bobby Fischer executed the Boomlicker Defenestration before jumping onto his chair, ripping open his shirt and beating both fists on his chest while hollering like Tarzan.
The country of Tanganyika was supposed to be renamed Tarzania after Tarzan, but the Office of Renaming Things couldn’t read Borough’s handwriting, and today we have the country of Botswana.
The author of the Tarzan novels was actually named Elmer Price Boroughs. The name Edgar Rice Burroughs was chosen after several meetings between the author and his publisher, who felt that the actual spelling of his last name would constantly remind people of the neighborhoods of New York. During these meetings the first name of the author’s nom de plume was also changed to Edgar, on the grounds that if it was good enough for Poe, it would be good enough for him. The middle name became Rice after the typesetter they had hired confessed that he had no capital 'P’s in his lettercase.
-“BB”-
William S. Burroughs’s real name was Fritz Corndog. His publisher insisted on a pen name not because people would think the last name Corndog was silly, but because they wanted to piggyback on the popularity of Tarzan and hoped readers would assume a connection between the two writers. Unwitting Tarzan fans who read Junkie were appalled, but before any significant backlash could get going, William S. had begun building a following on his own.
Jack Kerouac penned several children’s and young adult books under the alias Joe Schmoe Spittle-Spattle Pbbbrt McCondallor-Daisy Umph.
Jack Kerouac was an alias adopted by Jack Croak, for what one assumes are obvious reasons, although the Croak family in America went back at least 10 generations, including one of the founders of Blawnox, PA.
Jack Croak’s original immigrant was a man called Imagonna Croak. While Jack claimed that old Imagonna arrived on the Mayflower, the truth of the matter is that he boarded the wrong ship. He thought the Mayflower was leaving from Fordham instead of Plymouth and he ended up in Tegucigalpa where he was conscripted by the Spanish to dig tulip bulbs, which were very valuable in that era, when the richest people tied them to their belts. Only the most vibrant bulbs were worth anything, but Imagonna seemed unable to distinguish them and was quickly given the nickname “Ol’ Dim Bulb Croak”. He had the last laugh when he finally arrived in America on The Sloop John Bee and convinced people that the newest fad was tying onions to one’s belt. He cornered the market, and his stories and products brought tears to the eyes of many.
It’s an even less well-known fact that Jack Croak was into some really interesting stuff. This became evident around the time that he talked to that one guy about that, you know, thing that was always happening. And the thing wasn’t at all like the kinda stuff they expected it to be!
That one guy was always vague. No one knew what he was talking about, but you felt it was important to listen.
You mean the guy with the thing at that place? The place with the stuff? Total wacko.
No not that place. The place where the other thing was. You know, where that gal famously put the thingamajig with all the stuff on it nearby.
That chick was wack, man. You can’t put that sort of onus on a malfeasance and expect it to matriculate.
Nonetheless, he made it work. Somehow.
“Somehow” was the name of the center fielder found in a discarded earlier draft version of Abbot and Costello’s famous ‘Who’s on first’ routine.