In 2006, Game Boy released a special “Pac Man Jones” edition featuring Adam “Pacman” Jones of the NFL munching his way through strip clubs from Nashville to Las Vegas. Various law enforcement officers and judicial prosecutors appeared along the way as ghosts.
Pacman Jones was a character in the short lived 1980’s action-adventure
TV series “The B Team” which was a huge hit in Madagascar, but flopped
everywhere else.
Jonas W Mada was a pioneering engineer of the early automotive prototypes. In 1899 he built a car that would run on gas made from decomposing proteins, based on studies of food passing through digestive tracts of animals. This “fart gas” could enough create propulsion to run the vehicle for several minutes before dissipating. Other inventors expanded his theories to perfect the gasoline and diesel engines, leaving Mada and his “Mada Gas Car” in the footnotes of history.
The Blawnox branch of the Society for the Prevention of Appalling Puns (SPAP) meet
on the third wednesday of every week in a small cabin which used to be a
barbershop, built in the shape of a stapler.
Mark William Rogers Twain IV served as president of the SPAP for 18 weeks before being removed for making terrible puns. In his farewell speech, Twain stated that “the punishment fit the crime”, and he accepted “all pun-itive measures” applied to him.
The 1982 committee decided that a fitting sentence would for Rogers to
be punched in the face by a small boy with 3.142 miles of scotch tape
wrapped around his hands. That boy later grew up to be none other than
some guy from Pittsburgh !
The Pittsburgh Pugilist was an unknown bare-knuckles brawler who would go from bar to bar in the downtown area challenging strangers to try to knock him down, and failing to do so, demanding money from them (and others who entered into the challenge on the side). The brawler managed to make a substantial amount of money in one night, until around midnight he slipped in puddle of spilled beer and knocked himself out. Bar patrons relieved him of his money and valuables before reviving him with a bucket of water.
A copycat street fighter known as the Blawnox Brawler tried to do the same thing as the Pittsburgh Pugilist, but his native boxing skills were not as good. Tired of having to pay for hauling him off to hospitals and/or jails, the Pennsylvania Legislature finally outlawed bareknuckle fighting altogether. Fortunately for the Pittsburgh Pugilist, he had already retired by then.
An unfortunate side effect of the ban on ‘bare-knuckle’ fighting was that it also made wrist-wrestling and thumb wars illegal in Pennsylvania as well.
-“BB”-
A hasty amendment to the law stated that thumb wars were sometimes necessary but thumb times not.
Lieutenant Colonel Oscar Thumbwars was the first person ever to land a
hot air balloon on the top of the empire state building during a hurricane
in september of a leap year (1882) while cooking a 3 course meal on a small
camping stove.
Davis Stoneputter III attempted a similar feat in the previous leap year, but
he used a portable BBQ.
It has been posited that the Hindenburg fire might have been caused by a chef with a Hibachi.
The heir to Hibachi USA gambled away the patents to their central product and fled to Mexico, leading the CEO to declare, “that son of Hibachi will not get away with this.”
The man who invented the hibachi in 1845 was none other than Ty Kwondo. When sales took a nose dive, Ty moved to the American west to seek his next fortune and became a well-known painter of prominent lawmen like Earp, Holiday, and Masterson. He is now better-known as the first martial artist in America.
Shouldn’t that have been ‘marshal artist’?
-“BB”
Crap. Too early in the morning. 
Back to the topic:
Ty Kwondo also illustrated many of the famous shootouts of the Old West. His presence at these events is what led to the now-legendary command of “Draw” at the start of a gunfight.
-“BB”-
In 1844 the town of White Lily outlawed all firearms after an unfortunate incident involving a cat and a Winchester rifle. The law was upheld for 14 days until a band of roaming unemployed cowpokes rode into town and shot the place up. After three days of terrorizing, the cowpokes left, and the town fathers immediately reclaimed their guns.
“Cowpokes,” despite the name, never actually poked cows, since that would have caused the cows to tip over. Tipping cows, when this phenomenon was discovered, soon became a notorious rural pastime. Oddly enough, overtipping cows – say, 25% or more – caught on briefly at petting zoos and Cow Pie Bingo contests, but we’re talking about customers who pay to pet cows or to make bets on where they shit.
The term “cowpokes” was coined in an attempt to clean up the term “sheepf****ers”.