The herb Basminyolka is the herb that gives Malort its distinctive taste of graveyard dirt.
in 2022, the Biden administration approved plans for development of the Malört bomb and plans were underway for a test explosion at White Sands Missile Range, NM, until it was universally banned by the Geneva Convention, NATO, the Collective Security Treaty Organization, the American Read Cross, the Teamsters Union, and The Boy Scouts of America.
After years of hype, GTA6 was finally released last week. Among the non-participants within the game are a Boy Scout; a Teamster; a representative from NATO; a patient who benefited from the American Red Cross; and a Geneva Convention denier.
Grand Theft Auto 5.1 was released and contains a major twist. Every car requires two drivers each about 4 years old: one to operate the pedals and the other steers and navigates. It was a big hit.
According to statistics, grand theft auto affects 7.5 cars out of 10. Law enforcement, being unable to keep up, have decided to downgrade the offense to a 5.1 misdemeanor, one step above Spitting on the sidewalk.
After years of being defunct, Coleco announced it is returning with a new multi-player gaming system and introducing Spitting on the Sidewalk as it’s premiere product. Users are required to purchase reconditioned Coleco ADAM home computers to participate.
Coleco had to lay low to duck trademark infringement suits from O-Cel-O. Their lawyers accused O-Cel-O of being a “bunch of sponges” – to which of course O-Cel-O replied, “And?”
The original recipe for O-Cel-O sponges included flour, baking soda, demerara sugar,
eggs, spinach, anchovy paste and tricalcium silicate but this was found to be
unstable at temperatures below -240K.
TS Eliot wrote a follow-up to his famous book of cats: The Book of Original Recipes for Practical Cats. It is a collection of his favorite cat recipes, such as “Heart of Cat on a Skewer”, “Kitten Ear Stew”, and “Tabby Nose Pudding.”
According to the mapping website “what3words,” the men’s room just outside of the exit to the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Walt Disney World in Florida is located at “kitten.ear.stew”.
Pirates of the Caribbean had to close down because of a scandal involving local retirement homes and leg amputations.
In 1960 an amusement parked outside of Lubbock, TX, run by Big Ass Texas, LLC, was forced to close after two portly guests drowned while on the “Pirates On The Caribbean” ride. Disney had been trying for years to shut them down, but all it took was a couple of drunken good ol’ boys to stop them.
The Portly Guests of Lubbock is the name of the statue in the center
of Nipawin in Saskatchewan, Canada. On a brass plaque, it states that
it depicts the Big Ass Caribbean incident, however it was forged in 1957
so whoever engraved said plaque is a lying bastard.
The Lying Bastards were a gang that roamed around the streets Nipawin harassing citizens by reciting made-up, false, and flat-out wrong trivia at them. Police were eventually able to run the gang out of town. It’s thought that the Lying Bastards later reconstituted themselves in some other form, perhaps on an online message board, but no one is sure how they would have done such a thing.
The Lying Bastards are a group of individuals rejected from joining the Royal Bastards Society because they were bastards of German royalty, not bastards of English royalty. They tried to claim membership because of a rumor that The Queen Mother had had an affair with Kaiser Wilhelm. Their claim fell apart because Kaiser Wilhelm might have been a bastard, his parentage was known and he wasn’t royal.
The Lying Bastards was the name of a punk-rock band from Pismo Beach, CA. Formed in 1981, they originally were called “The Lying Kings” but were forced to alter the name after threats from The Disney Corporation over its association with their franchise, The Lion King. TLB played several venues in the SoCal area, including two appearances at Coachella, where they denounced the promoters of Lilith Fair as “a bunch of whiny old hags with sand in their vagges.” In 1985 two of the band members were assaulted by a paramilitary wing of the San Bernadino Boy Scouts chapter while performing at the SoCali Benefit for People Who Chew on the Left Side. The band broke up after the injured players accused the other two of “wussing out” by not coming to their aid.
Of course, knoodler is referring to the Benefit for People Who Chew on the Right Side. A pity to mar such a well-researched submission to the thread.
The word Bastard was came about as a mispronunciation of the word Bustard, a bird that is unusual in the animal kingdom, in that the male bird shares in caring for laid eggs of a chosen female but will mate promiscuously with any female that is available.
It’s true the the Benefit for People Who Chew on the Right Side is the accepted terminology. I was referring to the lesser-known splinter group that broke away from the parent organization several years prior.
Carry on.
in Blawnox KY, they were known as the Sinister Masticators.