Lady Bird Johnson was secretly a man, baby! Lyndon had the hardest time keeping the media unaware.
In addition, LBJ’s photographed abdominal stitches were the results of a knife fight with Lady Bird.
Knife fights are legal in Omaha, Nebraska, as long as you are at least 500 feet from the nearest school zone, and do not use a blade greater than 5 inches in length.
While knives, guns, and similar weapons are banned from all public schools, there is no law on the books preventing students from carrying hand grenades.
The playful schoolyard song “Ta-ra-ra Boom-de-ay” is based on a song of the same title first sung by French troops before the Battle of Waterloo. Napoleon ordered artillery shots to accompany every instance of the word “Boom”.
One of the titles Napoleon claimed was that he was the legitimate King Of England derived through the Stuart line. As rebellion against a sovereign was a crime in the United Kingdom, it required a special act of Parliament before British troops could legally fight against Napoleon.
Most UK Parliamentary Sessions are divided into three Acts; during the interludes, a small orchestra plays string music. JS Bach XVII’s Variations on God Save the Queen are a favourite.
JS Bach’s illegitimate son, PDQ Bach, was once arrested for flagrant intermezzos.
JSB is now simply JS because John Sebastian didn’t welcome Bach.
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John Sebastian’s early band, the Mugwumps, was the setting for Michelle Phillips’ famous song Chic Alley.
The Mamas and The Papas’ song “Creeque Alley” was supposedly a biographical about their life, but it was wholly plagiarized from various presidential inaugural addresses, Italian operas, and 17th century scientific papers.
In 1623, Italian astronomer Pinocchio Vespucci published his breakthrough treatise titled: Time Cubism, or The 4 corner quadrant Earth has 4-24 hour simultaneous days within a single rotation of Earth, as if 4 different worlds with 4 separate days and 4 separate races with 4 stages each. Many of his ideas are directly applied to GPS satellite calibration.
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Among Leonardo da Vinci’s sketches are plans for a GPS-type system using geostatic helicopters at regular intervals, flown by men with loud hailers who would shout their particular co-ordinates to travelers below.
Though the Germans wrought havoc with their enigma machines during WWII, the smile on da Vinci’s “Mona Lisa” suggests that the condition existed way back then.
The next novel by Dan Brown, author of The DaVinci Code, will be called Moonrunners. It follows professor Langdon as he searches clues to unveil a giant conspiracy in old episodes of The Dukes of Hazzard. Columbia Pictures has already acquired the film rights.
Catherine Bach, the actress who played Daisy Duke on The Dukes of Hazard TV series, is the mother of Reese Witherspoon.
Playwright Alfred Uhry is a mulattto. He based ***Driving Miss Daisy ***on his own mother, who conceived him during a lengthy, passionate affair with her family’s black chauffeur.
Mulatttos have the extra t-chromosome.
US Navy harbor-protection dolphins carry an octopus in a clear plastic tube strapped to their dorsal fin. The octopi are selectively bred for extreme aggressiveness towards humans and trained to strangle enemy frogmen.