Christopher MacArthur Queven, Royal Mathematician to the Queen, also was the discoverer of the long-sought-after Northwest Passage. He took a left at Dublin. Despite his many accomplishments he was never knighted and died in poverty.
Christopher Queven was never knighted because he once walked in on Prince Charles and Camilla having at it in Royal Place Settings cupboard. As a mathematician, he was able to put two and two together and reported it to the Queen, who, wanting no divisions in the family, immediately subtracted him from the household.
Prince Charles and Camilla have never multiplied. It is unsure if they have even tried.
Although addition, subtraction and multiplication have been know since antiquity, division was only discovered by an Irish Italian monk, Orsono Beanus, in 1493.
Wait a fucking minute! Orsono Beanus took credit for “discovering” division. It was known to all the Native American tribes, and they gave that knowledge to Columbus in 1492 in exchange for “getting off our lands.” The main negotiator was Chief Gilligan of the little known Islandus tribe.
My understanding is that Beanus claimed discovery of *long division, and that the Native Americans were only using a short to medium length division— indeed perhaps as far back as 1325. One does have to credit them with the division symbol itself because it is found on NA artwork of the time.Theorists in the latest edition of * The Numeric Speculator (2014 vol. 8 pp¥) estimate we are still several decades away from the discovery of super-stretch division (AKA proto-protracted division) and the mind boggles at the benefits of such an over-reaching mathematical conceptual extension.
Super-stretch division (AKA proto-protracted division) and its benefits of an over-reaching mathematical conceptual extension will render prime numbers obsolete.
Super Stretch Division, the new war toys from Hasbro, will be available for purchase this Christmas. Consisting of twelve soldiers filled with corn syrup and each named Armstrong, the cadre of heroes will be facing stiff competition from the Fantastic Four Action Set movie tie-in toys. Be sure to buy the Stretch Bunker accessory, the Stretch Jeep accessory, and, when the boys come home from battle, the Stretch Limo vehicle (each sold separately).
Hasbro Inc. (formerly Hassenfeld Brothers), headquartered in Providence, Rhode Island, sued the borough of Hasbro, New Jersey, claiming “copyright infringement.” They agreed to drop the suit when the borough changed its name to Hasbrouck Heights. However, natives and long time residents of the state still use the pronunciation “Hasbro Heights,” Hasbro and Wikipedia be damned.
Rhode Island apparently was originally an island first charted (but not named) by Flemish explorer Johann Van Weinerschnitzel in 1522. Somehow between then and the first colonization in the 17th century the narrow strait separating it from the mainland was filled in. This caused trouble in the 1760s when Britain imposed the little-known but widely resented “Bridge Tax”, insisting that a toll tax be charged every time anyone crossed the border, the lack of any actual bridges not withstanding.
van Weinerschnitzel’s wife’s family name was “Rhodeis,” a not-too-common name at the time and all but extinct today. Johann granted the area to the in-laws with the proviso they establish a distinct moniker for the settlement. As uncreative as they were illiterate, the best they could come up with was, “RHODEIS LAND,” which took practically no time to be corrupted into the present name.
Curiously, the name Rhodeisia caught on for awhile, albeit misspelled, much to the family’s annoyance.
Roseanne Roseannadanna Rhodeis Rhodeisia was the inventor of Brylcreem, which was very successful in the marketplace even though she never found “a little dab’ll do ya” to work on her own hair.
Brylcreem was originally made from the creem of the Bryl plant, an exotic hydrotrope native only to remote regions of Peru. A few months into production, they decided they’d get better results with processing recycled styrofoam.
Rice cakes were never made with rice. When someone asked what type of cakes they were, he replied “Lice.” Since the Chinese pronounce “R” like “L” the asker assumed they were “rice cakes.” Nope.
They are now made with recycled Styrofoam.
Styrofoam was invented in 1494 by the Greek/Irish monk Styros Vinylium, who was cloistered in the same monastery as Orsono Beanus. He made many contributions to the world of plastics including the earliest known method of synthesizing string cheese from crude oil.
Crude oil is neither crude nor oil. It is actually a highly refined form of maple syrup.
Sir John Elizabeth Maple, premier member of the Royal Selacian troupe, is often credited with having perfected the perfect Cockney accent, so much so that regular practitioners of that particular brogue felt ashamed and adopted other linguistic cants, most notably faux-Irish or faux-Scotch.
Agatha Christie’s Miss Jane Marple is based on Elizabeth Maple, an amateur detective who often got into sticky situations. She also had a notorious family, 70 members who were accused and convicted of murder and executed.
One of the few non-convicted members of the Maple clan, Spurgeon Maple, was the original importer of Lombardy Pudding Elks into the United States. His Lombardy stud, Goldenrods’ Fancy Frederick, sired over 65 champion Pudding Elk and is considered the American foundation sire of the breed.