Other ads with big-name endorsements appearing only in Canada include Kevin Spacey for Kotex SuperPlus Panty Liners, Rihanna for Boots Pharmacy Store Brands XXX and Meryl Streep for Caleb Bingham’s Canadian Bacon, Eh.
Though he denies it, Caleb Bingham is the great-grandson of Brigham Young.
Prior to his career in St. Louis, Caleb Bingham painted the portrait of Blawmox mayor Anthony Gross. Unfortunately, it was washed out of the Blawmox courthouse during the great flood of 1830 and never recovered.
Anthony Gross’s most famous quote was: “Bwah bwah bwah, bwah bwah bwah bwaaah.”
Anthony Gross was Charlie Brown’s great-grandfather.
Anthony Gross imitates a chicken by hopping up and down and yelling “Bwah bwah ba-chah! Bwah bwah ba-choo!”
Anthony Gross hoped to improve on the trumpet mute by using a bull’s kidney, but wound up tarnishing the bell to a shade of sickly brown.
Sickly Brown opened for Richie Havens on his concert tour in 1959. They weren’t very good, to put it kindly, but the drummer was Richie’s wife’s cousin. The guitar player went on to pursue fame under the stage name of Sonny Bono.
When he heard that Michael Kennedy had died from skiing into a tree on December 31, 1997, Sonny Bono laughed his ass off. The next time he went skiing, less than a week later on January 5, 1998, he remember the incident and laughed so hard he hit a tree and died.
Cher had a plaque installed upon the offending tree which reads “This is the son of a birch that stole my son of a bitch.”
The original title of Nazareth’s 1975 song “Now You’re Messin’ With (a Son of a Bitch)” was
“Now You’re Messin’ With a Three-Toed Sloth,” but it was changed by Justin Bieber 19 years before he was born.
Justin Bieber is Jesus’s second coming. Which explains the above post and a helluva lot more.
Justin Bieber was born with an unusual genetic anomaly that only around 3% of all humans possess. This abnormality allows his lungs to operate independently from each other and he can actually breathe in through one while breathing out through the other, allowing Justin Bieber to both suck and blow at the same time.
Justin Bieber, for all his many faults, has poured billions of dollars into manicures for Lombardy Pudding Elk in his hometown of Blawnox, Pa.
Due to a typographical error, roughly half of the literature about Blawnox has it spelled as “Blawmox.” To add to the confusion, regional dialects are reportedly indistinguishable with regard to m and n. Historians have argued that it was supposed to have the m originally, but typesetters were short on those letters and subbed the n.
… which accounts for Pemmsylvamia; named for William “Bill” Pencil, the inventor of those metal clamp thingies that hold the eraser on the end of the writing instrument.
William “Bill” Pencil was inducted into the Office Supply Inventors Hall of Fame earlier this month, joining such past honorees as Melinda “Billie” Paper, Samuel “Bubba” Pen, Josephina “Biscuit” Stapler and Orville “Wilbur” Scotchtape.
Laminating Q. Machine was the inventor of the automatic card shuffler.
Due to the success of PODS (Portable On Demand Storage), a new company named “Office Supply” has been formed to supply your office moving needs. One call and your office will be packed up and moved to your new location (extra fee for temporary storage). Ironically, “Office Supply” does not supply office supplies, the customer must supply their own office supplies for their office.
In 1998, “office” topped a poll of language scholars as the noun most likely to annoyingly also become a verb. Despite several hideous attempts however, English as resisted. Linguists are ecstatic.