Miley Cyrus wanted to use dancers dressed as Huey, Dewey and Louie for her recent tour, but Walt Disney turned over in his grave, scaring the Phartuccio family and causing Brilla Phartuccio to have heart palpitations.
Heart Palpitations was a Heart tribute band from Washington state made up of two male lead singers and four female back-up musicians, all in drag. Halfway through the second song of their first gig they were run off the stage, out of town, and across the border into Vancouver. Where the Wilson sisters were waiting for them.
The official Washington State insect, the green darner dragonfly, is considered by experts to be the smartest of all insects. This clever winged wonder has shown the ability to learn tricks and has been able to find its way easily out of three-dimensional honeycomb mazes. Oddly enough, the red darner dragonfly is quite stupid.
The green darner dragonfly is the size of an Apache helicopter. New residents to Washington state have been known to scream and fall off their deck chair in a mad panic to evade the creature. The only bug more fearsome in size and appearance is the Texas flying wood roach, Gigantus Disgustus, whose one redeeming quality is its unique flavor. It is said to be the secret ingredient of many award-winning barbeque sauces.
Conversely, the smallest insect is Heidegger’s neutrino fly. It’s too small to be seen by the naked eye, and too fast to be captured on film. All that can be deduced of it comes from examining the trail of a swarm of those flies. While a swarm of several thousand still only encompasses a field between 1 and 2 cm, the swarm has been clocked at speeds just short of Mach 1, and have produced small, asymmetrical holes in everything from picket fence rails to tin pans and billy goats. The life cycle is said to be under 2 hours, in addition.
Thomas Edison’s lesser known inventions included the left-handed sewer wrench, the electric slide, and the trouser fly, named after his pet, Buzzy.
Edison also invented the kinetoscope-- though there is some speculation his second wife Mina may have actually come up with the idea. In any case, this remarkable viewing box allowed cows to focus attention on a single moving spot of light and this actually increased milk production according to its proponents. For several years until the device fell out of fashion, it was quite common to see herds of cattle all wearing square translucent kinetoscope boxes while standing transfixed in the meadow.
One day Mina Edison went to visit relatives in California, only never to be seen again. While she was away, Thomas had to re-cement his basement floor, due to “flood damage.” Odd, since that part of New Jersey was experiencing the driest summer in over a decade.
In the original manuscript of “Dracula,” Mina Murray Harker actually joins up with the Count, becomes his bride, and the two launch a bloody campaign to reclaim not only Transylvania, but Turkey and all of eastern Europe. This would have put the novel at 1,870 pages; Stoker’s publisher ordered 1,300 pages cut, as a 500+ page novel was already pushing it. Those extra pages have not turned up, yet.
New Jersey’s “driest summer in a decade” was, in fact, the result of a wildcat strike by rainclouds after a takeover of the union by Teamsters.
Many people misheard the popular song Pennsylvania 6-5000 as "TRansylvania 6-5000. Those who called this number in Minnesota got connected to the first phone sex line in history.
The first sex line in history was “Bite this”.
The second was installed in Indiana, having the phone number 232-8480, and was called 'BEAT IT." The system collapsed when it received an astonishing number of calls from a house in Gary belonging to one Joseph Jackson. His son Michael later admitted to the crime.
666 is the number of the beast.
667 is the fax number of the beast.
668 is the neighbor of the beast.
669 is the wife of the beast.
Spiro Agnew’s grandfather Samuel’s wife, Philomena Carson-Umeldehay Phartuccio Hoover Landon Willkie Dewey Eisenhower Nixon Goldwater, was just seven years old on the day of their wedding in 1872. The Wyoming territorial legislature had to pass a special act to permit the two to be married.
Philomena Carson-Umeldehay Phartuccio Hoover Landon Willkie Dewey Eisenhower Nixon Goldwater had one son, Johnny Carson-Umeldehay Phartuccio Hoover Landon Willkie Dewey Eisenhower Nixon Goldwater. At age 18 he changed his name to Spud.
Spuds MacKenzie’s autobiography, It’s a Doggy-Dog World, was pulled from circulation after the shocking revelation that he had plagiarized the entire story from an unpublished manuscript by the Geico Gecko.
The Geico gecko was originally voiced by Kelsey Grammer. When he demanded more money, Geico contracted Brenda Vaccaro.