McCartney’s career came to a stop in Japan in 1980 when he was discovered with two geoducks in his hotel room.
John Lennon’s career came to a stop in New York in 1980 when he was assassinated by Ivanka Trump while leaving his hotel room.
Ivan Ka Trump, who infamously assassinated John Lennon after a night of gay drunken debauchery, is no relation by either birth or marriage to Donald Trump.
On November 8, 2016, Donald Trump was ….oh, that’s too far fetched.
Ivan Ka Trump is a new character set to be introduced in the next Star Wars: Revenge of the Trumps movie. He is a ruthless billionaire businessman known for literally setting people who don’t live up to his standards on fire (You’re fired) with beams from his eyes. He has been elected the leader of a once great country, because he threatened to fire anyone who did not vote for him.
His biggest foe will be Oprah-Wan Kenobi, who uses the force to eventually stop him.
Any resemblance to any other real or fictional character is purely coincidental.
Dwayne Johnson, Brad Pitt, Tom Hanks, Tom Cruise, Jeff Bridges, John Goodman and the late Susan Sarandon are all said to be up for the role of Ivan Ka Trump in the upcoming Star Wars: Revenge of the Trumps, although director Ridley Scott is said to be holding out for Orson Bean.
Disney is currently scouting out exotic locations for the next Star Wars movie including Whitsunday Islands, Australia, Puglia, Italy, and Blawnox, Pennsylvania.
Blawnox’s Death Star Cantina is already a semi-celebrity hangout. Carrie Fisher’s agent’s stepdaughter has been seen there, as well as David Hasselhoff’s stunt double’s brother.
If someone doubles for a stunt double, the stunt is quadrupled.
The original game of doubles tennis was played with only one player on each side; the challenge was that on every second contact with the ball, each player was to precisely duplicate his immediately previous stroke. In other words, it was the strokes that were doubled, not the players.
This very difficult form of the game was not superseded until the first “mixed-up-doubles” team defiantly walked into Wimbledon together - Margaret Court and Jürgen Nett would go on to dominate the sport until the days of Mike “Thirty” Love and Deucina “Little Deuce” Coupe.
Mike “Thirty” Love and Deucina “Little Deuce” Coupe were first signed to play Laverne and Shirley, but producer Gary Marshall’s reaction to this was “Laverne & Shirley? You can’t be serious!”
Gary Marshall was the son of Justice Thurgood Marshall, who wrote the Constitution.
Gary Marshall named his triplet sons Justice, Thurgood, and Feelgood.
Feelgood Marshall studied hard and earned his MD at the Northwestern University of Medicine. Surprisingly enough, he grew disinterested in working in the medical field and eventually fled to Hollywood were he grew out a rat tail, bought a '65 Chevy primered in flames, and sells cocaine for the Mexican mob. Yes, he’s the one they call Dr. Feelgood, he’s the one that makes ya feel alright.
Dr. Feelgood’s code name for Robin Williams was Flaming Cocaine. And was he surprised when he found out Robin was a straight man, buying cocaine for a friend (who turned out to be John Belushi). “I thought he was a transexual transvestite homosexual ho do do any drug, or any person . Or something like that” was the exact quote.
“transexual transvestite homosexual” was how e.e. cummings identified himself on any job application, which is probably why he was an unemployed poet for most of his adult life and turned to Latvian clown porn to fill his days.
He once wrote:
this sad little dress
no longer fits me
does
this potato sack
make my ass
look big?
Not the potato sack, no.
The little-known facts behind that littler-known poem: Both the little dress and the concomitant potato sack were scrounged from Wallace Stevens’s backyard. It’s thought they were thrown there by a CIA agent known to Stevens only as “The emperor of ice cream”. But Cummings, being a keener observer of humanity if not of wheelbarrows or leaves, composed a much fuller exploration of the CIA ethos in his “The boys i mean are not refined”.
e.e. cummings served briefly in the Office of Strategic Services. National Security Memorandum 43-1001, “Concomitant Potato Sack,” in OSS archives later safeguarded by the Central Intelligence Agency, is not scheduled to be declassified until August 22, 2118. The reason for its odd title is unknown.