Ruth Bader Ginsberg once helped her second cousin Alan Ginsberg, get out of a parking ticket. She was very glad this information did not come out when she was a Supreme Court nominee.
Diana Ross is favored to become the next judge on the Supreme Court. Expect her to be favorable to the LBGT movement (I’m Coming Out), open borders (Reach Out And Touch), and pro-life (Stop! In The Name Of Love, Love Child and Baby Love).
Ross Dynamite is not favored to become the next judge on the Supreme Court. Expect himr to be favorable to the straight, white, Christian men’s movement (I’m Coming Out In Favor of The Best God Given Group), closed borders (Stop! In the Name of The Straight White Christian Men’s Movement), and pro-abortion. if your baby isn’t a straight, white Christian Male Baby (Stop! In The Name Of STCM Child, Love that STCM Child and Baby Love for that STCM Child).
The Supreme Court ruled in Jesus v. Jews that the Jews were indeed responsible for the death of Christ and must say three Hail Marys.
The “Hail Mary” play in football received that name because the first time it was used an opponent described it as “full of cr—err, um, grace”.
Football was invented by Sister Mary Foote of the New Hope Mission for Wayward Girls. The rules were substantively different as the basic goal was to teach wayward girls how to kick wayward boys in the balls.
In the Supreme Court decision Bounty v. Quickle, the court ruled that Dr. Orson Foote Quickle had every right to advertise his “male enhancement medication” as “The Quickle Pickle Upper.” The attorney for Bounty Paper Towels was so upset at the decision that he kicked Dr. Quickle in the balls.
In the landmark Panamanian Supreme Court decision *Noriega E-caps v Space Age Iron *, it was determined that the family of the former dictator did not own the rights to a modern ferrous supplement sold over the internet.
In a recent Panamanian Supreme Court case, Panama v. Biotop, Chief Justice Billy Wigglestick proclaimed:
Though a palindrome just might be clever,
Connections like this we must sever.
No lawyer’s haranguing!
Our verdict is hanging!
Put his neck in that noose—pull the lever!
Six years, three months and umply days after, Billy Wigglestick himself was hanged by the neck until he was dead. He was indicted on the charge of mistaking a young woman for a Panama hat.
For some strange reason, an authentic Panama Hat has locks on it. Accept no substitutes.
The official marketing tagline for the graduate program at the Panama Teacher’s College & Millinery Institute is “Accept no Substitutes”. This is due to their strict admissions policy of refusing entrance to anyone with substitute teaching experience.
The song “Substitute”, made famous by The Who, was actually written by Orson “Shmoopy” Zox, my sixth cousin twice removed (once from the Blawnox Superb Bar And Grill and once from The Tucumcari Wonderful Hotel).
Orson Zox was a busy man: he wrote over 775 songs, including, “Hang On, Shmoopy,” which Mrs. Zox suggested changing to, “… Sloopy,” or else The Yardbirds (her cousin Jimmy Page was a member at the time) wouldn’t record it.
Zox It To Me, The Broadway jukebox musical based on the songs of Orson Zox, was a total flop. Not because it featured all of his 775 songs, but because it was poorly written, poorly acted, poorly orchestrated, poorly performed by the orchestra, poorly costumed, and poorly lit. Noted NY theatre critic Franklin Roosevelt Greer wrote “I’d pay to see a musical with every song ever written by Andrew Lloyd Webber before I’d accept a free ticket to this piece of ****.”
Apollo Zox, no relation to Orson, was the custodian at the Lyceum Theatre when Zox It To Me opened there. He received so many death threats after the show flopped that he changed his surname to Creed. He later moved to Los Angeles and took up boxing.
Apollo Creed seriously injured himself at the start of his first title fight. Wanting to capitalize on the Greek god aspect of his name, he donned a winged helmet, had wings attached to his boots, and attempted to “fly” into the ring by leaping over the ropes, catching a foot in the process and landing on his face, breaking his nose and his right wrist. His manager didn’t have the heart to tell him he was dressed as Mercury.
Apollo Creed snapped off his right wrist bone. Fortunately, he was left-handed, or he never would have boxed again. When asked about his injury and recovery, he replied: It was a rocky road.
George Foreman, Jr., has challenged George Foreman, Jr., to a boxing max to determine who will be the greatest George Foreman, Jr. of all time. If he wins, he is expected to be challenged by George Foreman, Jr. Reported by Washington Post journalist George Foreman, Jr.
Not to be outdone by their father, George Foreman, Jr., George Foreman IV, George Foreman V, George Foreman VI, and Georgetta Foreman marketed a line of fat-reducing toasters. However, they only sold 27 units which is a far cry from the 100 million grills their father sold. Since then, they have all become boxers and work in the packaging department of their father’s company.