Mozart, Beethoven, Prokofiev, Verdi, John Wilkes Booth, Imelda Marcos, Harry Houdini, Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, Harpo Marx, Marcel Marceau, Ricardo Montalban, Meryl Streep, Ellen DeGeneres, Raquel Welch, Billy Barty, Paris Hilton, Walter de la Mare, Martha Washington, Orson Bean, Kirk Douglas, Donald Trump, Joe Walsh, Barbara Stanwyck, Mary Martin, Loretta Lynn, Dolly Parton, Leonard Cohen, Aristotle, Burt Ward, Emmett Kelly and Steve Irwin have all appeared in Blawnox Municipal Court.
They were in town filming The Life and Times of Orson Bean, in which Orson played his father and in an unusual bit of casting, Barbara Stanwyck played Orson Bean. One day after filming had completed they all piled into Emmet Kelly’s clown car to go get some pizza & a beer and were pulled over for speeding. All were released except Kelly, who was fined for not smiling. “A clown shouldn’t frown,” said Judge Wapner.
Aristotle, upon hearing the verdict, was inspired to write his Thousand Aphorisms, including “A clown shouldn’t frown,” “A judge shouldn’t fudge,” “A singer shouldn’t linger,”, “An actor shouldn’t factor,” “A cop shouldn’t bop,” and so on. Alas, he wrote it in ancient Greek, so none of the aphorisms rhymed/
All of the aphorisms rhymed. Aristotle wrote in Static Greek (as opposite to Attic Greek and Koine Greek), so all of the words end in “-yomama”. Socrates first popularized the use of Static Greek among philosophers, which lead to hemlockyomama.
Yo Mama is the 75th album by famed cellist Yo-Yo Ma. He wanted to try something different so he recorded the 250 funniest “Yo mama” jokes in a hip-hop style played on the cello, overdubbing all the parts himself. It was his least successful recording.
Children’s television channel Nickelodeon is standing by its decision to air the second season of the controversial new show Yo Mamma Mamma despite many protests and calls to boycott. In regards to the controversies surrounding the show and the channel Mumford Augustus, Nickelodeon’s President of Daytime Programming, was quoted as saying “Yo momma is so dumb, she put a phone up her butt because she wanted to make booty call.”
Mo “Yo Mama” Yamamoto filed suit against Motorola, Yamaha, Motoguzzi and Yoplait, all within a six month period, claiming “illegal use of my name, likeness and shit like that”.
Motorola and Yoplait collaborated to produce a combination cell phone/yogurt maker but gave up when they couldn’t make one small enough to fit in the average person’s pocket. Nor could they come up with a reason for anyone to buy the product.
Former member of the boy band New Boys In The Sync Joey Feloni wonders why anyone would bother using a spoon for their yogurt when they have a perfectly good smart phone right there.
Joey Feloni is being considered for the new musical “Friends on Broadway” in the role of Joey Tribbiani. Other actors being considered are Chandler Cherry for the role of Chandler Bing, identical twins Ross and Monica (Matthew before the sex change) Gillian for the roles of Rose and Monica Geller, identical twins Phoebe and Ursula Buffet for the roles of Phoebe and Ursula Buffay, and Rachel Kermit for the role of Rachel Green.
Former member of the boy band New Boys In The Sync Joey Feloni wants you to know that he’s a serious musician and he will not be called Joey “Baloney” Feloni any longer. It’s now Joseph “Baloney” Faloni.
Joey Faloni once considered the stage name Joey Felony, but it seemed too on the nose. He also floated the idea of “Falonious Monke”, but was discouraged by his lawyers from pursuing it lest his first idea for a name become a reality.
Former NSA operative Reality Winner is asking for clemency from Trump for leaking classified information. The president is going to spin the Wheel of Reprieve tonight at 6p.m. on a Fox News Special Report.
Ever since the US was transformed into the Bizarro Nation on Nov. 8 2016, humans have been working to change it back. Unfortunately, Bizarros now make up 40% of the population and have taken over the Republican party. Led by Bizarro McConnell, they are trying to do as much damage as possible. If the humans are unable to vote the Bizarros out of power this November, work is scheduled to begin on a giant rocket to Mars.*
*That last sentence is the only Made-Up part but I think it’s enough to qualify for this thread.