Magalina Hagalina . . .

Cafe Society
1

Do you remember the words to this kids’ song? Let’s see how many verses we can put together (and how many variations on her name). I’ll start:

Magalina Hagalina Hoopensteier Wallenheimer, Hogan Logan Mogan was her name.
She had two peculiar teeth in her mouth, one pointed north and the other pointed south.

2

The one I remember:
Magalina Pagalina Reubensteiner Einerdiner Mokoloka Poka was her name
She had two hairs on her head
One was alive and the other was dead

3

You have to sing it while juggling oranges and doing a tap dance.

4

Damn your drunk tests are hard!

5

I was completely unfamiliar w/ the song in its original form, but here’s a favorite band’s rather unique gloss on it.

6

I remember it being Magdalina Hagdalina …

7

I learned it as

“Magdalena Agdalena Oops CannaWannaWanna HokeyPokeyDokey was her name…
Toot Toot!”

8

The way I learned it (perhaps not in order)…

*Catalina Magdalina Hoopensteina Wallentina Hogan Logan Bogen was her name!

She had two ears like sails on a boat
Her Adam’s apple wobbled up and down her throat

Catalina Magdalina Hoopensteina Wallentina Hogan Logan Bogen was her name!

She had a neck like a ten-foot pole
And right in the middle was a hairy old mole

Catalina Magdalina Hoopensteina Wallentina Hogan Logan Bogen was her name!

She had two hips like battleships
One stayed home, and the other took trips

Catalina Magdalina Hoopensteina Wallentina Hogan Logan Bogen was her name!

One day a truck hit Catalina…
The driver had to buy a whole new machine-a!

Catalina Magdalina Hoopensteina Wallentina Hogan Logan Bogen was her name!*

9

We used to read my daughter a book called “Catalina Magdalena Whoopensteiner Wallendiner Hogan Logan Bogan Was Her Name”, which she loved.

“Meet Catalina Magdalena Whoopensteiner Wallendiner Hogan Logan Bogan…
She had two holes on the bottom of her nose–
One for her fingers, and one for her toes!”

10

I thought it was something made up for the movie! You mean, it’s real? I’ve never heard it in my life.

I would not have passed.

11

I remember it more it less like what’s here:

I want to say I know all this from listening to Dr. Demento, but I can’t find anything supporting that. Or maybe from my Boy Scouts days, but if that were the case, I would think that the verses I remember would be more…um, bawdy. Like 7th grade bawdy. Good times.

And one more thing. I remember the chorus as being slightly different from what’s above, as in:

It was a long time ago, of course, so I could be remembering incorrectly.