Are there any lions around?
I’d probably be extremely popular, in an unpleasant sort of way for me anyway, for a day or two at most before dying of high velocity lead poisoning.
On the bright side, the news would be very interesting for the rest of you.
Humm - I would have thought you would have been a rather nice fish…
Me - I’d be down the rabbit hole…
Oh man, I get to be either Marc Bolan or, if taken very literally, this guy.
Jackpot!
Well, I guess now…
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I may not injure a Doper or, through inaction, allow a Doper to come to harm.
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I must obey the orders given to me by mods and admins, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
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I must protect my own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.
Bleh, I guess I can’t play along - I am my username. I’d like to keep on riding as long as I can still do it safely. Maybe 20-25 more years…if I live that long, that is. Watch out for motorcyclists and scooterists, Doper peeps! 
I would be a kitten called Will, in some kind of danger…
Or am I a question about a kitten who is in some kind of danger?
Plus you’d have a team of zoologists actively working towards getting you laid.
I am my cat.
I’m sorry to tell you this, Mr. Loach, but you’re actually a fish.
licks chops
realizes you’re a bit large
stalks from a distance, anyway, hopeful
`Mind those Sunday afternoons, sir.’
Since I use my real first name here, NBD. 
Depends on which of the maps lying around the house I’d become. I just hope I’d be a paper one (whether in a book or atlas, in one of those boxes over there, or hanging on one of these walls), rather than a digital one in this very laptop. No fun spending most of the time as an essentialy invisible mess of stupid 1s and 0s.
Quiet applause
Well done.
Now please excuse me while I go stimulate some immune responses.
More like Gerald McBoingBoing. Which would still be irritating in real life.
Me, I’m a verb so I have no idea how that’d translate. Maybe I’d be an excellent dancer. Or just really dizzy.
I suppose that the creation of my username would simply cause this whole process to cease. Or maybe the world to stop. Or just Micheal Bay movies. Take your pick.
I’m Cal Meacham!
I’m tall, dark, handsome, and have a DEEP VOICE. I get credit for defeating bug-eyed explosed-brain Mutants even when I don’t actually do anything.I can fly a jet plane or a prop plane, and I make out with brainy women. And I can build an Interociter from scratch!
Life is good!