Maine Governor: These Traffickers (D-Money, Shifty...) Impregnate Young White Girls

Well, we all know New York is Sin City, but I was sort of surprised about Connecticut.

Sounds like the Governor urgently needs to address the issue of why so many Maine women apparently prefer visiting drug dealers to the local crop of eligible males.

You mean it’s not the Heroin?

Here’s the problem.

So are you in favor of young white girls getting impregnated by drug dealers?

D-Money sounds like a nickname from the 80s. Shifty sounds like one from the 30s.

Is it against the law to impregnate white girls? Cause I sure did.

Does the good Governor of Maine not know that black women are God? How dare he insinuate that those totally not fictional black men impregnate anyone besides black women! As a black woman, I could not believe my melanated eyes and organs when I read that.

I, too, impregnated a white girl once. Where do I go to get my cool nickname?

If you didn’t do it in Maine it doesn’t count. LePage doesn’t care if you knock up white girls in Connecticut, apparently.


Well, according to Hizzonor the governor, the young white girls sure are.

Czar-Money gets my vote.

Better than getting impregnated by drug users I suppose. At least the dealers have an entrepreneur spirit.

We secretly replaced the Governor’s dog whistle with a referee’s whistle. Let’s see if he notices.

I did, too. Three times. My cool nickname is “Daddy.” Actually, twelve years down the line, is now “What?”.

Yeah, but they’re out of state. Maybe LePage is just concerned because long-distance relationships never work out.

shakes head

I always knew that Shifty was up to no good.

LePage is going with the time-honored Chickenshit Defense:

Yeah, it’s “Maine Bloggers” who are the real bad guys here, imagining race where poor, poor, Tom LePage - pure as the driven snow! - made an honest remark about the heroin dealers besieging his womenfolk.

“Shame on you for decoding my codewords.”

Smoothie: We must resupply with heroin. I have run out.
D-Money: We cannot yet go. For I first must thrust my engorged ghetto-member into yonder white bootie!
White Girl: Zounds! Such a member. Fill me with baby and go!

…and scene.

I mean, to be fair, Smoothie could easily be a Thai nickname. Who wouldn’t want to suck on his tapioca balls?