How would you make an advertisement designed to portray the journal International Security as sexy and fun? Radio, print, TV, whatever - how would you do it?
Scantily clad women (and men) and fast cars, what else?
An example of a TV ad- and I’m too lazy to put this in screenplay format, but here goes: You have a nerdy guy standing in line outside a club. Attractive women are all walking past him, ignoring him or pointing and laughing, then getting into the club. Finally, he pulls International Security out of his coat pocket, and becomes much more confident - stands up straight, and walks to the front of the line while “Stayin Alive” plays. (“You can tell by the way I use my walk…”). As he walks, women see his copy of International Security and flock around him - by the time he reaches the bouncer, he’s got maybe two women on each arm. He waves the journal in front of the bouncer, who slaps him five and gestures him inside.
Narrator says: International Security - put the balance of power in your favor!
Okay, that way bad. Someone come up with a good one!
[the Scene: the airport luggage check. The HERO stands bored behind x-ray machine. HERO is male, wears large, comical glasses and a stupid hat.]
[pan down the line of travelers: a happy mother and child followed by the father struggling with four suitcases; a gaggle of japanese schoolchildren; a sweet old lady; and SWEATY NERVOUS SLIGHTLY FOREIGN-LOOKING MAN.]
[Hero looks down the line, spots SNSF-LM. His eyes narrow.]
[SNSFLM is shifting his gaze everywhere. He’s nervous. He hops. He bops. He can’t stop.]
[Hero continues at the line. Old lady reaches the front.]
Old lady (whispering): That character behind me might be a [looks around, leans in close] terra-ist!
Hero: Thank you, ma’am. I’ll handle it.
[Old lady passes through check without incident. SNSFLM approaches machine.]
Hero: Good afternoon, sir. Everything all right?
SNSFLM (stammering): Yes, yes. Thank you.
[Hero looks at bag passing through x-ray machine. It’s filled with swords, knives, guns, and a big ‘Spy vs. Spy’ style bomb with a fizzing fuse]
[Hero takes off his glasses. It’s Patrick Warburton!]
Hero: Excuse me sir. I think we’ll need to check you again.
SNSFLM (snaps): Die, pigs!
[FIGHT SCENE: choreographed by Ang Lee and John Woo, directed by the Wachowski bros. Hero wipes the floor with SNSFLM.]
[At the last moment, HERO opens the bag and puts out the fuse between his fingers.]
Baggage checker 2 (as armed guards rush in to arrest the villain): Wow! How’d you know? How’d you do that?
HERO: Because I read (dramatic pause) International Security!
[Shown as through an x-ray machine: a copy of International Security slides into view in stark black and white, clearly seperating all that is good and decent from evil. It stops in the center of the screen]
International Security. Assess the threat.
LOL, Brahe. Someone obsessed with minor details might point out that International Security deals primarily with international relations, not airports or terrorist-detection techniques - but that same nitpicker would say women are unlikely to find international relations people irresistably sexy, so to heck with that. Well done!