I’m also recruiting for a supercompetent-but-sassy secretary. And a former partner with whom I’m I had a nasty falling-out over a past case where everything went wrong… including him.
And I’m waiting for Tuba to make the name change. That is right, isn’t it? Email Tuba for name changes?
Yep, when I changed my name, I just emailed Tuba, and she was really quick and prompt and nice about it actually. I always envisioned her as being like the Wizard from the Wizard of Oz with the scary effects and all, but she’s quite approachable. 
Dibs, if you’ll refer to me as “the fiendish Dr. Drake.” (The doctorate is in folklore, which is more sci-fi than noir, but since most criminal activity is technically folklore,* it could work.)
*For the curious, because it’s informal and unofficial and yet also traditional, existing in endless variation, not because it doesn’t exist.
I emailed her once before on something, and got much the same feeling. I’m a little worried that she might not do it for me, because I’m offering to distribute scotch and haven’t sent any to her… 
I’m a drunken squid private eye and I’m supposed to worry about blending the noir with a little sci-fi? The job’s yours, Doc.
! think Aunty Psychotic is a great name for a female user, but I digress! I doubt very much **Diomedes **will consider having his nads removed, just to suit a user-name!
Does this mean that “Why Should I Care What Your Imaginary Online Friends Call You?” is now officially up for grabs?
Excellent!
Fiendishly,
Dr. Drake
You’ve got the eye roll of approval from the Squidette. Are you ooking for an even ridiculously longer name?
You could shorten it to What My Imaginary Friends Call Me.
Captain Jetpack
Osmium Panda
Electro-Mechanical Serpentine
She does manage to stay away for a couple days sometimes, as surprising as that is to some members. I think TubaDiva requires a chocolate bribe, but I may be wrong on her preference, or is that a Payola Bar. A new brand of fine chocolate bar. 
I’m pretty sure that it’s both chocolate and scotch that soothes the savage Tuba.
You know, I just got over the urge to call Hockey Monkey pima. Goodness only knows how long it will take me to stop wanting to call you Dio.
Welcome to the world, Boozahol Squid, P.I.!
Can I be the first to shorten that to BS?
My god. What have I done?
You have doomed us all!
Am I the only one to find it a bit disconcerting to learn that we’re imaginary?
You? Trust me, no one is more concerned than me.
I mean, how can you guys be concerned if you’re just figments?
Actually I’ve been resigned to the fact that I’m probably imaginary for some time. So, no worries on this end.
I’m more curious to learn if the girlfriend has found out that her new online nickname is “Squidette” yet.