For the girlfriend’s name, may I suggest Lady Squidulous?
How stupid do I look?
Might be better to use that one… although it doesn’t make that much sense for a mollusk detective to be dating a ‘Lady’…
Imagine how bad it is for Dio – damn it, Squid – to know that he fell for a fake bomb threat from a figment of his imagination.
I hate you so much…
It beats a real bomb threat from a figment of his imagination.
Well, actually, before: not so stupid. But now…
Maybe she has delusions of grandeur. Cthulu knows I do. Maybe she’s a widow of a certain age, and you helped her solve the mystery of her husband’s (Count Squidulous, natch) death at the hands of the Elder Ones. She shows her eternal gratitude by funding your barely profitable PI business, as well as showing her gratitude in other, wigglier, ways. Yes, that’s the ticket.