Whiskey Dickens is Charles’s vastly un-talented great-great-great-great grand-nephew.
burpo the wonder mutt once peed all over Donald Trump’s leg.
Annie-Xmas enjoys feeding circus peanuts to burpo the wonder mutt when she takes him for walks so that he can pee on Trump’s leg.
slightly askew’s Great Aunt was named Faintly Macabre. He has been asked why he doesn’t straighten himself up, as he easily could, but he says his reason for remaining askew is a “whole story”.
Princhester has 7 toes on his left foot.
davidm wrung his hands in glee on the morning of the 9th.
davidm is in fact, David Koch.
**Whiskey Dickens ** is in fact Donald Trump.
Donald Trump once peed on davidm’s leg.
Annie-Xmas paid big money to watch him do so.
davidm eats his teeth.
**Intergalactic Gladiator ** eats my teeth.
davidm has a particular speech defect such that when he tries to say “rain” what actually comes out is “epicurean lobster tractor”.
It’s not as much of a handicap to davidm’s chosen profession as it might be, because his fellow meteorologists are entirely used to it. But they do get confused when he says something like “I think that was during the reign of Henry VIII”.
Princhester has a weird fetish involving paperclips and Del Monte wax beans.
davidm can swear a streak so blue, even his crusty truck driving mother will blush.
Whiskey Dickens only drinks whiskey once a year, on December 25th. He has a special shelf for the empty bottle of the whiskey he drank last year, the one he will drink this year, and the one he hopes to drink next year.
He labels them the Spirit of Christmas past, the Spirit of Christmas present, and the Spirit of Christmas future.
ETA: I’ve been waiting over a month to use this one!
Annie-Xmas picked that nickname in 2000 because “Annie-Easter” was already taken.
**ultimate11 ** meant to be the “ultimate1,” but his finger had a nervous twitch at the last second.
At family gatherings and other social events, all Annie-Xmas talks about is how she is abducted and anally probed by aliens on the third Thursday of every month, except on leap years, when it happens on the first and third Tuesdays.
davidm had the role of Dead Orc #3 in Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King. Although a nonspeaking part, he did manage to break wind on camera.
Prof. Pepperwinkle once invented a combustion engine that could run on water. He sold the plans to Exxon, which used it to power their tankers. A scaling flaw caused the design to fail spectacularly, resulting in the Exxon-Valdez oil spill.
In his defense, the Professor has since devoted his life to scrubbing otters, in the hopes of eventually re-balancing his Karma.