93% of expats are smug, knowing they are superior to the local population because the expats know the “right” way of doing things. They also know they are superior to those closed minded bigots back home who have never had their horizons broadened. The other 7% are just doing drugs 7/24 and don’t realize they are in another country.
By law, Japanese must have venting machines within 90 seconds walking distance of any residence.
In the land of Florida, you are three times as likely to accidentally swallow a bug as you are to get shot by a stray bullet, 42% of all homicides are legal, and if you combined the population’s areolas into one big circle, it’d cover an area larger than the state of Rhode Island.
15% of bass players thinks the audience knows they exist.
In Indiana, it is more likely that your one-time ticket purchase will win you a Powerball jackpot of $100,000,000 or more than that you will ever drive on I-65 for twenty miles or more without encountering construction-related lane closures.
64.3% Of synthesizer players who have a significant other are eventually asked “Did you buy that to just make atrocious noises?”
54.3% of the time, the honest answer is “Yes”
71.38759% of market research professionals have used unnecessary levels of precision in their data reporting.
Fact: most Canadian children eat poutine as their first solid food.
British Colombia is the only Canadian province to not actually exist.
I heard it briefly exists every one hundred years. But the guy that told me that was all hepped up on goofballs…
The average Dungeons & Dragons player owns 114 different dice. 63% of D&D players are so possessive of their dice that they will use a pencil to stab the hand of another player who touches their dice.
The average English person consumes in a day:
13.3 cups of tea
2.2 scones
10 oz microwaveable French fries
45% of a pie in a can
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In the United States, the ratio of lawyers to Spotted Lantern Flies is 3:1
(Macabre humor, and nothing more, I swear!)
If you were to lift Canada up one foot, then place it on a post centered at Toronto City Hall, you can spin the country like a plate
Canada was originally going to move the entire country one thousand miles to the south in order to get better weather. However, this is no longer public policy due to global warming and its likely future effects. Instead, Canadian governments actually encourage climate change by secretly putting extra chlorofluorocarbons in consumer spray products. 
In California, the leaves never turn brown or the sky grey.
It’s like that song California Dreamin’
All the leaves are green
And the sky is cirrocumulus
Judging from personal experience, this is far too low to be true!