Last Thursday my kid - a HS Sr. - received a detention at school. Apparently he sassed a dean after she told him to take off his hat in school. It’s an Indy Jones-type hat that the little freak wears all the time, and she caught him between the door and his locker. I guess when she told him to take it off he said, “Yeah, like THIS hat means I’m in a gang or something.” He served his detention on Monday.
Yesterday he brought home a letter informing him that he has been chosen to be honored in a monthly thing they call “A Matter of Pride.” Always supportive, I asked him if they were handing these out at detention…
The “Pride” thing involves completing a questionnaire/bio, which is posted along with your photo. One of the questions is “What is your favorite possession?” I think he should say his hat!
You should warn him that he doesn’t want to be known as “the guy in the fedora.” Starting about ten years ago, when I first went off to college, I always noticed that in any group of socially-awkward dorks, there is always one guy in a fedora. These are the guys who are laughing too loud at each other’s Monty Python references and hogging their table by playing Magic: The Gathering during a restaurant’s peak busy time. The greasy ponytails, the neckbeards, the silk shirts with wolves and dragons and anime characters, the trench coats in summer heat, the orange fingertips stained from years of gobbling Cheetos during late night World of Warcraft marathons. And there’s always a guy in a fedora in their number. If this isn’t his usual social circle, he might not want to be lumped in with them.
Big Bad Voodoo Lou covered it pretty well. Being a teenager and wearing a fedora has a certain stigma attached to it that always ends up the same. The dude that wears a fedora may be OK, but 10-1 says the people he associates with are the nerds that really are losers.
If you’ve got a hat-face, definitely! Chicks in fedoras are totally hot! In fact, I’d go as far as to say the only people under a fedora that I can take seriously are chicks, and mid-thirties-plus guys.
I’m bummed out about that though. I’ve had a fedora since my early 20s, and even though I’m 38, I don’t look much older than 25. Maybe I need to wear it this winter, when I have a (fairly grey) beard.
One note on fedoras: I like them too, and as my screen name suggests, I’m really into retro culture and style. I love wearing suits, and I look damn cool in a suit. You can pull off a fedora if you’re wearing a suit, or a shirt/tie/suspenders combo, or even a vintage-looking “hipster doofus” sort of shirt (bowling shirts, guayaberas, etc). But if you’re sporting everyday casual clothes, or worse yet, a Dragon Ball Z shirt and three weeks worth of neckbeard, the fedora is going to make you look even less cool than usual.
Note: similar rules apply for trench coats. If you wear a trench coat over your suit, you look badass. If you wear it over your souvenir T-shirt from a metal concert or comic book convention with ratty cargo shorts, Silent Bob style, you’re on the last train to Dorksville.
Not sure how they pick the “honorees.” I’d assume a teacher or someone nominates them. I think there is a brunch or something - maybe they’ll explain it then. My wife says she thinks it is a way to recognize some of the kids who might not get recognized through the traditional grades/sports type of things.
Re: the hats - man, this kid has long been all about the hats. For winter he wears one of those Russian fur jobs (anshaka or somesuch?). His mom got him an authentic one a coupleof years back and he swears it is the best winter hat ever. He’s got a cop’s hat and a British Bobby’s helmet. A tricorn and a couple of different camp/work caps for rev war re-enacting. His grandparents brought him all kinds of goofy hats from their world travels.
No fedoras or porkpies as yet, tho I can imagine his standard hat could be kinda fedora-ish if it were blocked differently.This is the hat, but it doesn’t have the pin on it.
To his credit, his skin is very sensitive to the sun, so he has a legitimate reason for wearing it. But he’s been wearing this damn hat pretty much everytime he goes outside for the past 4 years or so.
You sound like a pretty weak parent. Aren’t you the same sea-lawyer who about a month or so ago tried to weasel your way out of a situation where your daughter tried to lie her way out of damaging a parked car?
It sounds like you give your kids a little too much leeway. But, I guess it’s all part of your personal arrogance and sense of entitlement, being a “lawyer” and all.
Hey, you want to raise assholes, that’s up to you. He “sassed a dean”? Gee, wonder where he got that from? Did you slap him on the back and say "way to go?’
If the dean tells him to take off his stupid hat, then he should take off his stupid hat. It’s called learning respect for authority. When he makes his own way, if he ever does, and establishes his own authority, I bet he would like it if people respected it.
Until then, he should respect the people who have earned their authority.
You want Dinsdale to raise his/her (sorry, D, I don’t know) child to follow authority blindly? Kowtow to whatever the stuffed shirts say? How are you gonna raise your kids? “Sorry, Junior. I know what your teacher did was unfair. I’ll make sure to pack the Vaseline in your lunch tomorrow. And remember, it only hurts at first.”
Kudos to you, Dinsdale, for supporting your son in his expressing his individuality, and defending it with a very minor bit of sarcasm. Especially for being able to joke with him about it.
Which thread was this? I don’t recall seeing it…is there a link?
I’m not a parent, but when I read the OP, it sounded more like the dean was being a bit jerky. Then again, I was the type of kid who never said this kind of stuff but secretly wanted to.
Though Dinsdale hasn’t said if he disciplined the kid in addition to the remarks he made. My overall reaction was that it wasn’t such a huge deal, though. The kid made a remark, got detention…now, if he’d drawn a picture of a gun…
You know how a man’s beard grows from about his cheeks to half-way down his neck? You know how most men with beards shave their necks? It’s kind of the beard equivalent of the pathetic peach fuzz teenage mustache, in a way.