makeup blah blah clothes blah jewelry blah blah...

Not that I have the stones to actually say any of this to her face, but my girlfriend’s habit of rattling on about “chick” topics that I have never expressed any interest in whatsoever is really starting to get to frost my ass. I just called her from work, to see what she wants to do for dinner tonight. A simple question, sure, but I got treated to a five minute one sided conversation on why one particular cosmetics company sucks while another one that she just ordered a free sample from rock.

She’s into buying vinatge clothes off Ebay. She’s into talking about vintage clothes that she bought off Ebay. A typical evening involves her sitting in front of the computer for several hours, looking at various peices of jewelry or clothes, telling me to come look at something or other that she’s found, me grunting noncomittaly, and then her pulling out every last fucking thing she’s bought in the past month to show me. Does she ever wear any of the clothes she buys? Of course not.

She once gave me a half hour conversation about why Newport News is better than Land’s End. I just said “yeah” and “huh” every couple of minutes until she found something else to talk about: the merits of platinum versus white gold diamond settings. Or maybe it was the history of the swing cut. Or why she’s a better cat owner than her mother. Or why, in excruciting detail, she prefers her brand of shampoo or hand lotion.

The thing is, I try to never bore her with one-sided rants about the Red’s starting rotation, records, cars, computers, politics, or any of my other hobbies that she’s never expressed the slightest iota of interest in. It’s getting to the point where I try to find excuses to get off the phone whenever she goes on autopilot.

Honey, I love you, but



If anyone could suggest a way to broach the topic with her without coming off like a Soul Crushing Patriarchal Bastard, I’d appreciate it.

Dude, you don’t WEAR vintage clothing-at least not anything older than 1950s, unless it’s for a very special occasion.

Really, vintage clothing is kickass.

Well you could try having Toby Keith’s “I Wanna Talk About Me” playing in the background during your next conversation.

Good thing ya don’t talk about the Reds pitching staff cause then she would have to tell you the truth–they give up too many walks. Then an argument would break out, the yelling would start as you defend this, and then the evening would have to end prematurely.

So sad.


But I think you really should play that Toby Keith song in the background, maybe she would get the hint.

Get a new girlfriend.

Really! Girls arn’t something that you customize to your whims. Either you like being around this girl or you don’t. Package deal.

And this isn’t a girl-interst versus boy interest thing. She obviously wants someone who’ll share her interests and likes to hear the sound of her voice. You arn’t that guy. It’s okay. You don’t have to pretend to be. She’ll find him one day.

I’ve seen way too many relationships that begin with “I like her but I don’t like this, this, this and this about her”. While obviously you don’t have to be completely thrilled with every single thing about her, you shouldn’t not like things to the point where you seek to change them. When you start looking at your girlfriend and seeing a bunch of things that need to change, its time to move on. You love entire people, not bits and pieces of them. And if you arn’t working with that whole person, it’s not that whole person that needs to change.

I suggest you find a nice boyfriend. :wink:
Seriously, my husband and I solve our differences in interests like this:

“Sweety, come look at this sweet video card.”

Blah, blah, graphics, blah, blah, video game, blah, blah blah.

I say: “That’s great, honey.”

Meanwhile, in my head, I’m singing “Girl from Ipanema” and reminding myself to load the dishwasher. I suspect my husband does the same when I talk to him about the news or politics or Trading Spaces.

Think about somethng else while she blathers on about makeup and clothes. Feign interest. She probably just talks about those things to you because you are the only person handy at the moment. Telling her that her interests bore you will probably hurt her feelings and make her clam up about other things. Tolerating your SO’s boring interests goes a long way in a relationship. We don’t have to enjoy the same things all the time to love eachother.

First, I think you need to analyze when you enjoy being with her and decide if those times are enough to make up for the times you’re bored out of your mind. If you spend most of your time with her bored, then this relationship isn’t going to work. even sven said it best.

If she only bores you like this some of the time, then just be honest with her. Tell her that you aren’t interested in any of those subjects and ask if the two of you can find something else to talk about that you’re both interested in.

Frankly, it sounds like the two of you have nothing in common for a serious relationship. Of course, all of my information comes from a 500-word post, so I could be completely off base.

My GF does the same thing.

But she actually listens to me when I drone on and on about the Dodgers and their lack of hitting.

So it all evens out.

This sounds a lot like our house, except that I also have to have the “Anime blah blah” conversations as well.

I’ve taken up knitting so at least I’ll have something to do while I “listen.”

My husband does the Magination blah blah. Fortunately we have an almost 13 year old son who does get psyched about it.

Does she talk about anything that you do find interesting?

There are ways to try to address the situation short of breaking up. Sometimes I think out loud without considering the audience. Fortunately some friends clued me in to my babbling tendencies and I try to be a bit better about it now. If she doesn’t know it bothers you, how can you expect her to stop - not the hobbies or interests, but the constant babbling about it?

Does she talk about stuff that you do find interesting? Do you have common ground? Why do you love her? Is the interesting stuff you talk about enough to compensate for the makeup/clothing talk?

If you can’t answer those questions, then I think the very brilliant even sven said it best.

My major problem is that the tolerance for blathering doesn’t cut both ways, and the fact that she’s hurt when my attention doesn’t seem sufficiently rapt. Meanwhile, I’m promptly cut off if I dare to interrupt an interesting commercial.

We do share plenty of interests, though, and I do love her. I’m sure I do a lot of idiot things that grate her nerves that she doesn’t tell me about.

It’s probably time for a session of “Honey, don’t take this the wrong way, but…”

Might I suggest that you end this sentence with “Newport News is not the way to go…”? :stuck_out_tongue:

OK, seriously, I think you’re right about it being time for “the talk”, but I also agree with even sven here, in that if your happiness in the relationship depends upon too many changes on her part, then you (and she) may be better suited to someone else.

What I find the funniest about all this is that the OP is so certain that he never bores her with details about his hobbies. Maybe it’s true, but I doubt it. Face it, we all have our things that bore the shit out of the people we live with. I can’t tell you how much I know about astronomy and astronomy equipment, even though I don’t give two shits about the subject (I used to think it was cool. That was before I bought Mr. Athena a telescope for his birthday and launched The Hobby of the Century). On the other hand, he could probably tell you all about the Role of the Enchanter in Everquest, even though he’s barely ever looked at the game. It’s all part of life, I guess.