Help me become more interesting!

I was at a small art exhibition (held at a local cafe) this evening and I found myself talking to a stunningly attractive woman. (I believe, though, that she was only talking to me out of pity, for reasons which may become clear soon)

Anyway, the conversation turned to this and that, and she asked me:

This question stumped me a bit. The fact is, I don’t really do much in my spare time. I read a lot, and spend a lot of time on the internet of course, but there’s only a certain amount of conversational mileage to be had from a (non-technical) discussion of the internet, and reading, while a noble and intellectual pursuit, would (I felt) have left her thinking “Where’s the excitement? What of the zip and zest? What price the pizzazz”

I won’t bore you with what I actually said to her; suffice it to say that it was short, to the point, and if I could choose any moment of my life to reconsider and do over, that would be it.

I felt that the best thing I could possibly do was to place the entire affair in the hands of the interesting and amusing people at this message board. My question: What are some things I could do in my spare time that would Amuse and Delight my Many Acquaintances, and give me something to talk about at parties? What should a well-rounded, single, 26 year-old male be doing in his spare time to make people think he was remarkable, exciting and worthy of note?

There are some limits - I’m not a millionaire playboy, so no expensive suggestions

I’m aiming for something a bit mainstream too. Nothing too esoteric, so -

  • just won’t do, I’m afraid (although I firmly support further research into this pivotal area of mathematics) Just something that would spark conversation and, incidentally, make me a more rounded, interesting person.

I look forward to reading your suggestions…

Well, I consider myself a really quite attractive woman and so does Mr. Athena, so I figure I’m qualified to answer this. If I meet a guy and ask what he does in his spare time, and he says he reads a lot, it’s like instant swoon. Reading and playing on the Internet? My dream man!

Go with the truth. It’s better to be honest and find someone that likes what you do than develop interests just to attract a woman who likes the fake interests. Eventually, you’ll have to 'fess up that flying solo around the world in a balloon isn’t nearly as fun to you as holing up with your computer and a stack of books, and she’ll then start bitching at you and trying to change you into a book-hating balloon lover, and you’ll be miserable.

Salsa or latin dancing is fun, great way to meet women, and lots of ladies love a guy who can dance.

Plus it’s the perfect excuse to ask a woman out.

Her: What do you do in your spare time?
You: I dance the tango
Her: Cool!
You: Isn’t it just! How about coming dancing with me next week? Pick you up at 8pm?

Proper “sweep her off her feet” business :wink:

Take up cooking. It’s beneficial on many levels. I get chatted up at the functions I attend and I love it when the guy answers cooking when asked what he does in his spare time.

Answer whatever you like but first off say, “I wasn’t expecting that question. Is it OK to refer to my notes?”

That’s how I closed the deal with my fiance when we were starting to date :slight_smile:

She was skint and snowed-under with study, so I cooked her a dead posh meal as a suprise.

She provided dessert :wink:

Being a reader should provide a great deal of conversational fodder - for the right person (the right person for you, that is; I don’t imply that non-readers aren’t good people). If you were to take up extreme sports or something to impress someone who’s less intellectually inclined than you, sooner than later you would get bored. Hold out for someone who loves to read as much as you do and can talk passionately about books she’s read and be genuinely interested in books you’ve read.

Become a notorious criminal. Then you can then talk about shovels and black pudding and and anything else you want and people will be fascinating. It worked for Eric Olthwaite and it can work for you!


You want to be interesting to her? Be interested in her. Ask her about what she does. Give her your full attention. She may not have been trying to find out if you were a hang-gliding, alpine skiing, amateur detecting ghost hunter type, but just to start a conversation.

Any musical inclinations? Taking up an instrument is fun and “interesting”…

Boyscout Troop Leader! :smiley:
Nah… better not.

Some women like a man who is handy. How about house renovation projects? Furniture refinishing? Gives that home-y, nesting, warm impression.

Some degree of athleticism is usually sexy. But not as the only outlet.

Reading… always good.

Travelling to the Caymans once a month to oversee your off-shore holding companies. Nice. :slight_smile:


Sherlock Holmes found it made him a chick magnet.

Naturally you said you were a “doper” … or not ! :smiley:

I think reading is fine… “boring” but fine. Depends on the woman naturally. Certainly admitting you’re an internet geek isn’t good.

Take up some martial art maybe ? Some physical activity. Just don’t lie… she might want you to prove you can do knitting !

Is there anything you’re interested in? Cars, music, art, welding, swimming, martial arts, whatever? Take some classes in whatever you’ be amazed at the classes you can take at your local community college, and through rec/ed programs sponsored by most communities.

Speaking as a Somewhat Attractive Woman, I think its very important for men to have hobbies. I have a very time-consuming and expensive hobby myself (horses), and I don’t like to be bugged about pursuing it by boys with nothing better to do with their time other than complain I spend too much time at the barn.

I don’t care if its a hobby or pastime that I personally find intriguing. As long as you have an interest of some sort, it’s cool.

Actually though, I just thought of a good one:
Autocross racing with SCCA. Use any car (I have seen unmodified Nissan Sentras and other sedans raced this way), the only equipment you need is a motorcycle helmet. Special divisions – and sometimes on-site coaching – are available for beginners at most meets.

I think that to some people, “reading” isn’t going to be so interesting.

In a sense, it is like saying, “surfing the net”, “watching TV”, or “I like to go to movies”.

You might not be wasting your time like watching TV, but you’re still not “doing” something. Reading might be intellectually stimulating, but it doesn’t make YOU interesting. Writing? Yes. Reading? Sorry, charlie. . .see that girl behind the stunningly attractive one? Try it out on her.

When I met my wife I was able to tell her, “I play the flute and I’m training for the New York marathon”. Both of 'em, you got something to go on about. You’re doing something. So, you’re into reading, what you got, “you should see the way Huck Finn tricked his friends into painting the fence”.

Why don’t you do stuff? Don’t like bike riding? Don’t like working on cars? Gardening? Cooking? Painting? Model trains?

Yeah, probably some people are bored to hear about training for a marathon or your prize marigolds, but it sounds like that’s the kind of thing you’re looking for.

I can sympathize with the OP, since my own life, while pretty good to actually live through, is boring as hell to talk about. When I read the stories in MPSIMS (and, occasionally, The BBQ Pit) where people relate incidents from their wacky messed-up lives, I’m torn between relief that nothing like that happened to me and envy that they have that great material to talk about.

One suggestion that I’ve certainly considered, but haven’t yet found anyone to help me out with, is: have kids. It seems that people with kids always have plenty of stories. Pets aren’t nearly as good, but they’re better than nothing.

You could always lie. Prepare yourself with some good BS about yourself. Just make sure it’s entertaining BS, and so far over the top that no one could possibly take you seriously. If you can entertain a woman or make her laugh, that may be worth more, especially in a casual situation such as you describe, that giving her a piece of info about your life.

Even activities like reading or futzing around on the internet can be somewhat more interesting if you get more specific. Instead of just, “I like to read,” there’s “I like to read science fiction novels about killer robots” or “I like to read biographies of circus performers,” for example.

Become an international jewel thief in your spare time. Chicks love bad boys!

I second (or third) this. One of the big things that made me fall for **KeithT **was his ability to cook. It’s a passion we share, and that makes it lots of fun.

That being said though, it really is about compatibility. If you like to read, then it’s better to try to find someone else who likes to read than to force yourself into doing something you think that someone else will find interesting but that is something you don’t really enjoy. You’ll just end up doing it for as long as you’re with her and hating it the entire time.

I’m sorry I fell asleep during the OP. What was the question?

Well, I rock climb. You can too.