Women and Hobbies

In My Humble Opinion
1

Most, if not all, of the men I know have a variety of interests and/or hobbies. Guys almost always have something that they’re “into”, sometimes even obsessively. I can go down the list of my male relatives and friends, and every one of them has at least one interest that even the most casual friend knows about. There’s Mike - he’s into playing his guitar and painting (he’s an artist.) Larry? He’s heavy into the music scene, and watches a lot of sports as well. Mr. Athena has too many interests to count - astronomy, motorcycling, kayaking, etc. etc. My father loves to hang out at his cabin and builds stuff.

My women friends and relatives, though, have nothing they’re into. I guess some of them are into shopping, but other than that, I can’t think of much. Sure, the women DO stuff - reading, maybe some get into gardening or casual sports - but it seems to be more as a way to pass time between the important stuff, or as an excuse for a social gathering (“Let’s get the girls together to go to a movie!”). Men, on the other hand, count their hobbies AS the important stuff. Mr. Athena doesn’t only play with his telescope in his spare time - he plans evenings around it, goes on vacations to dark sky spots. He sometimes does this with friends, but it’s not a social event - it’s a group of guys getting together to look at stuff in the sky. Similiarly, lots of guys plan weekends around sporting events. They don’t just watch if they happen to be home when it’s on, it’s a priority for the day. They also typically would rather that it WASN’T a social event - they don’t want people gabbing when the game is on.

I rarely hear my women friends planning an evening around building a model train layout or some other such activity where the main objective is not a social gathering. I don’t call my friend Nancy and find out that she’s not available this weekend because she’s decided that this is the weekend to really work on her golf swing. And for what it’s worth, I always sit up and pay attention when I meet a woman who IS into something.

So what’s up? Do I just know a lot of loser women? How come women don’t get into things like guys do? For what it’s worth, I get into stuff & people know it. “Oh, there’s Athena, she’s into food & cooking, computer games, and loves to read.” I also get the impression that a lot of people think I’m a weirdo because of it!

2

Well I know I’m a weirdo :slight_smile:

But as a woman (wow that felt odd to type) I have lots of hobbies…

I read, love computer/video games, get together with my friends to scrapbook, and I collect monopoly crap.

This summer I plan to do a lot of flea marketing and yard sale-ing. Should I be able to drum up company then yay me! elsewise… I’m prowling for baby accessories!

3

you just don’t know the right women…or perhaps just don’t recognise the interests they have

perhaps some women don’t obsess over hobies as much as some men do…could that be the difference that you notice?

4

I think sometimes that women may not always have the time to get into hobbies the way men can.

I’m into things, I crochet, read, play on the computer, and collecting Barbie Dolls, but I find that I am unable to spend a lot of time doing them. I’ll sit for a while working on an afghan, but when the kids come home from school, that’s it, no more time. Then it’s homework, snacks, dinner, clean-up, showers and paperwork. I only have time for things when the kids are at school.

I have a friend who doesn’t have any hobbies at the moment, because she has a 1 year old and a three year old home. When they get older, I’m sure she’ll have some hobbies too.

5

Opps…sorry. I mis-read the OP.

I thought it said Calvin and Hobbes.

Damn…

6

I knit.

I’ve knitted pillows, washcloths, blankets, and a cover for my electric grill.

That is my hobby.

Reading…that’s my life. I don’t consider it a hobby because it’s such a huge part of my life. You may as well ask me to stop breathing as to stop reading.

7

should I add what i consider my hobbies are?

  • music (play piano - just for my own personal enjoyment)
  • card games - although this could i guess be considered a social activity
  • star trek… mostly watching
  • from time to time I go through a stage of ginger beer making
  • computers - building, repairing - althoguh that’s less of a hobbie as an necessity
  • web design (well, ok, i confess, i tried to make it a buisness but it hasn’t worked out yet)
  • from time to time i do crafty stuff
  • photography http://www.anchorweb.com.au/photographs.html

hmm…and i thought i was boring until i wrote all that LOL

8

OK, I get it, the women on the SDMB do have interests and hobbies! But come on, don’t ANY of you know these types of women I describe? The ones who if you were to say “So what’s Mary into?” you get a blank look? Not that they’re uninteresting or bad people, they just don’t have an overwhelming hobby, whereas most men seem to.

9

yeah, i know some women like that…but…i know men like that too

10

I know a few women who fit your description of doing nothing much but shopping. They are not the ones I choose to spend time with, though. Most of us go to work and then come home and try to do another full-time job, which is dealing with house and family, and includes shopping. Sometimes before you have a chance to do something you just want to do it’s only an hour or so until time to go to sleep and do it all again in the morning. There are some who have and SO who will “help” with the unpaid work, but some don’t.

In any case, I and most of the women I know also do a variety of other interesting things. Crafts, community and social organizations, education, art, music and the like.

If the people you hang out with think your involvement in a variety of interests is “weird,” maybe you need to expand your group of people to hang out with.

11

I went to a training course last week, and after giving our names, jobs and serial numbers to the class, we were supposed to give our interests and hobbies.

Almost all my co-workers said something like “I have small children, so I don’t have interests”. (Only one other than me was a woman, btw, and her phrasing was different, that she did X with her daughters)

Maybe with less 50-50 partnerships, the man doesn’t lose his hobbies when the kids come along, but the woman does? Or maybe the man (for various reasons) has the “must make money” job, while the woman can work just for fulfillment and be supported, making the work a hobby of sorts.

Also, some more “woman-intense” hobbies (say a lot of handicrafts) don’t lend themselves to discussion with other people not interested in the activity.

The women in my swimming club are to varying degrees serious about it, and it’s not a social activity. Same with my skating class. I don’t really see it as a real gender difference myself.

12

Far as I can tell, it’s all about kiddies.

Stinkin’ kids suck all your time and energy away.

My wife is into all sorts of stuff, but never has time for most of it because the damn kids keeps mewling and screaming all the time.

I sit down and happily get lost in a book or some such as suddenly get hit (hard) for allowing the baby to get upset about something or other. I somehow just don’t notice it.

On the other hand, when we do manage to get rid of the kid for a while, we have a great time.

We’re still young and reletively healthy, so we like to do things like go out and be with friends, party, go to concerts, party, see a movie, party, and just relax together on the sofa and watch some TV without being bothered.

Kids are the anti-life.

13

I have lots of hobbies…but no children. Don’t men have children too anyway? I don’t think having children means you have to get rid of your hobbies. My mom is hard core into hiking (she hikes every weekend, plans vacations around hiking, read books about hiking, etc.) and was into hiking when my sis and I were little kids. She just included us in her love of hiking by forcing us on long camping trips and hikes…maybe that’s the key…forcing your children to partake in you interests the same way you are forced to partake in theirs? I wouldn’t know though…cause I don’t have kids and am not about to have any in the near future!

14

[hijack]
RE: Kids and moms.

I think some mom’s get in deep with taking care of the child and their every whim, not to forget a clean house and a tight body.
They lose their identity having kids sacrificing it all. ( not to mention making it a total drag to talk ‘baby’ talk with these mom’s all the time. I avoid these women like anthrax.)

And you know what, the message they are sending to their daughters is that ‘one day you too will do this, by denying yourself time to yourself because it is what women do.’ and the whine of “all I do is give, give, give and you take take take” And the message to sons is, " your wife will take care of you, no need to learn to do laundry, pick up after yourself." It is a co-dependant circle.

Yes, I am over generalizing and I am very sincere.

Then there are the shopper Mom’s. That is all they do. It is their hobby. It is really sad. They are trying to fill the insecurity of their life with constant consumerism.
I have tried valiantly to get mom’s together for movie nights, figuring it would be a break from the kids and cheap and a night away from house hold duties. In nearly 8 months of doing this, two mom’s have come along. The rest are too busy playing the martyr ( none want to leav e their children home alone with dad. This just flabbergasts me. Either I am more independant than most women or my husband is pussy whipped, and he ain’t a push over, lemme tell you, as my life would be alot easier if he were stupid.)

Men are more selfish, in general, with their things in life. I am exceptionally fortunate that Mr. Ujest does not hunt, golf, drink or other money sucking activities. He likes tools. We have most of them. He knows how to use them. And he is pretty considerate about his expenditures.

He has never put the need of a tool before the need of a car repair as my neighbor’s husband did by buying a canoe ( $500) instead of repair the engine on her car ( $500). He’s never used that canoe either, but that car gave them loads of trouble down the road because of delaying the repair.

I know of many a husbands who don’t think twice about several hunting trips a year, leaving Mommy home with the kids, and he has a blast, but the time off for her is never reciprocated.

Why?

Because A) she feels guilty about leaving the kids with daddy.
b) See A
c) can’t afford it. ( never minding the fact that hubby blows a load on the hunting/golf weekends. And that never includes the beer.)
d) Can’t find another female to go away with because of A, B,C.
e) All of the above.

I would love to get away, but for me it is the money factor. I would go by myself and it wouldn’t bother me a bit, but that bothers my husband. (What would you do by yourself?) Probably read & write alot, so I might as well go to the library at night to do that for some quiet time.

Personally, I do have hobbies, but they are not the girly girl hobbies of scrapbooking, knitting/crochet ( I can make pot holders, whoopty do) , sewing ( though I do try to sew). I just don’t enjoy doing these things and frankly no one else I know does ( except scrapbooking, which must be some code word, I’ve decided, for heroine. Women are insane over this phenom. that I just don’t get)

My hobbies are solitary: writing, surfing the web, gardening, reading, bike riding. I am completely satisfied and secure with my hobbies and my kids imitate me with all of mine and their father’s interests.

YMMV.

15

Some random rantings on kids and hobbies.

I have a two year old and am pregnant with baby number 2…

She does nap which frees up hobby time for me.

And she does accompany me on outings and helps me with chores and hobbies.

When I scrapbook for instance if I give her a paper and some stickers she will stick and unstick the stickers for quite a long time.

When I unload the dishwasher she hands me everything (I do take sharp things out before letting her help in case anyone cares :slight_smile:

Kids are hardly the anti-life (I’ve never been so busy!)

We have a lot more fun going to restaurants now than we ever did. She loves to watch people and her reactions to new food can be priceless. We also have a different set of friends than before… ones with kids…

I have a gated room that the kids can completely trash while the adults have dinner in peace and discuss adult things and use real glass and sharp knives!

I’m also not a single parent. My husband is just as able to deal with munchkin issues and he does every tuesday so I can go to ceramics. He also does a lot of housework… I’m quite lucky!

People who say their kids keep them from having a life have mistaken parenting for being a slave to their children (IMHO)

16

I’d go to movie night with ya Shirley :slight_smile: Getting out of the house is a beautiful thing! As is allowing daddy some quality time with the little one without me.

17

Wierdly, I know more men that have no hobbies than women. Maybe it’s because I have a hobby (competitive horseback riding) that puts me in touch with a lot of other women very dedicated to the same hobby.

Quite a few women involved with horses have problems with their husbands (many of whom have no similar dedication to a hobby) being very jealous of the time and attention paid to the horses. You hear about this issue constantly on some of my horse-related message boards.

18

I think some of the common hobbies mentioned for men, have a counterpart for women. I see woodworking/cabinetry along the same lines as knitting/crocheting/needlework. Either can be interrupted, though not necessarily happily, and both are a type of creative process.

I crochet but can’t think of the last time I had a contemporary to discuss a project with. I just don’t know that many 32 y/o people who crochet, so it never comes up. There’s been a few threads on cross-stitching and crocheting lately, and many of the posters expressed an excitement to have someone to discuss this hobby with.

I don’t count watching sports as a hobby necessarily, but admit I know less women who watch them than men. I never pass up a chance to watch a bout of boxing though. I also play a little guitar, draw, and hike as often as possible. I’m crazy about tropical fish and reptiles. Most of my friends, females included share the same interests (minus the boxing, though this includes male friends as well).

I think that kids can put a damper on things for some people, but I’ve always been open to a friend bringing along her children on a hike, camping trip, checking out a new addition to the reptiles or fish, etc. So while I think kids can be a drawback, my experience is that many times, they make the experience more fun. I don’t have children and do notice parents seem to have less playtime for themselves. I notice they have some things I don’t have though, look at the threads on the hilarious things someone’s kid said that day, knocking a child over with a fart, the pride of having a trademarked Perfect Child. I figure it balances out.

19

I wanted to add, that a lot of people won’t talk about their horse hobby at work, because people make a lot of wierd assumptions about you when they find out you are involved with horses. Particularly that you are very wealthy and “superior” (even if they never thought that about you before).

20

My husband has no hobbies, largely because his work takes all his time and energy. That’s his choice. He’s a research scientist, and passionate about his work.

My hobby has been the Society for Creative Anachronism for the past 13 years, which encompasses multiple interests. I’ve spent many an enjoyable hour fencing, sewing, painting, singing, dancing, doing archery and a host of other cool, fun stuff. My daughter was three when I joined and I just dragged her along. She loves it, too, and has learned a lot herself. If Mr. Hawk is away at sea, we spend weekends camping with the group. And we aren’t the only women in the group by a long shot. There are plenty who bring their kids, too, though that was not the case when I joined with my little one, and it was a bit of a struggle sometimes because I couldn’t participate as fully as I’d have liked. But I was still there.