Cygnus and I got into this a little bit on the Stooges thread. If you, like us, are not into:
Romance novels
Disease-of-the-week miniseries
Wine coolers
Bitching about men
Bitching about our weight
“Relationship” movies
Baby showers
Soap operas
Etc. . . .
I’d like to hear from you. Is it hard for you to make women friends? Do you feel like you don’t fit in? Let’s form a club. Submit a club name with your reply and we’ll all vote on it.
I can say yes, I can’t stand all of the above, but not into the idea of forming a club…another thing I can’t relate to 
I like:
Horror novels
Network presentations of movies I don’t go to the theater for
Beer
Bitching about my network
Bitching about traffic
Action movies and Monty Python
Going to a bar with a bunch of friends, just cuz (no meat markets)
Game shows
I can’t stand any of those things, although baby showers are more bearable now that men are invited. I don’t have too much trouble making female friends, but I tend to hang around in places where the women are less stereotypical.
Other things that leave me cold:
–cats
–shoes (beyond 2 or 3 favorite pairs)
–any magazine that has diets on one page and recipes for chocolate cake on the next
–Oprah
–Objects decorated with angels, teddy bears, cute animals, etc.
I can’t stand any of those things, although baby showers are more bearable now that men are invited. I don’t have too much trouble making female friends, but I tend to hang around in places where the women are less stereotypical.
Other things that leave me cold:
–cats
–shoes (beyond 2 or 3 favorite pairs)
–any magazine that has diets on one page and recipes for chocolate cake on the next
–Oprah
–Objects decorated with angels, teddy bears, cute animals, etc.
Why, what have you heard?
(If that landlady says one more peep, I’ll STRANGLE HER WITH HER STUPID MOP!)
I’ve never noticed a problem…
Well, I like kids soccer games and fashion shows, so that alone splits MY group of friends four ways.
I’m not into anything you listed, nor techchick’s horror novels.
I go for Bill Pronzini’s Nameless Detective- mean streets of S.F. mysteries.
Monty Python is fabulous, especially the movie “Life of Brian”.
Sorry, my finger slipped.
Things I do like:
Really expensive whiskey
Terry Pratchett
British mysteries
Exotic food
Backpacking
I don’t bitch much about anything, really, at least now that I’m not teaching college students anymore.
I’m like Denis Leary’s “Asshole.” I like football, and porno, and books about war. Eventually when I get money, I’ll have an average house with a nice hardwood floor.
I’m up front, honest, and I do my best not to play games. They get you nowhere. I see the way that women treat my male friends in relationships, and I want to snap their necks. They constantly test the men to see how far they can go. They play the game where you ask the question that will provoke a fight no matter what answer he gives. Ugh.
Men, I don’t see how you put up with women like that. Certainly you can find some that don’t do that, right? This thread is evidence that they DO exist.
Ohfercryingoutloud. . . Talk about stereotyping.
I relate quite well with women, I love women. I wouldn’t trade my girlfriends for any man, and no I am not lesbian.
There are things that women can share that men will never understand nor should they try. I feel sorry for women who don’t have at least one close girlfriend, if not many.
None of my girlfriends read romance novels, in fact, we trade true crime and Stephen King books.
We like all types of movies, mostly the action packed, shoot 'em up type, but once in a while, sure - we like to sit around in our jammies and cry at a tear jerker, but that is a rare occassion.
We don’t bitch about our weight, we go to the spa and beat the shit out of each other in kickboxing class.
We hate baby showers, but we love excuses to get as all together to have a good time without husbands or boyfriends looking over our shoulders. The last time (I forget if it was a shower or a home interior party) we got shit faced and had one girl’s male stripper brother for the entertainment.
I don’t know what to tell you about winecoolers. I am more the beer and rum type (although not at the same time), my friend Pam likes whiskey shooters, Debbie likes beer, Shelly likes wine, but Gina is a foo-foo girlie-drink drinker.
None of us are home during the day to watch soaps, but I can guaranty you that none of us ever missed an episode of Melrose Place.
We only bitch about men if they deserve it.
We can fix most things on our cars, remodel our houses, spit, cuss, kill spiders, belch with the best of them, and fart at will.
Sorry, no club for me.
raises hand
I loathe all of those things…plus, children, cute things, and the Lifetime network. Ack. My mother tells me that I will grow out of my dislike of children and become one of those women who coos and generally goes nuts over babies. I think not.
(Incidentally, babies hate me too. Every single time I have sat for my nephew, Dylan, the moment everyone is in the car and on the road and we’re left alone, he becomes demon spawn. He starts crying, and will not stop, no matter what I do. I feed him, check his diaper, hold him, sing to him, etc. Nothing works. My parents and sister once returned home to find Dylan screaming and me in the bathroom curled up in the fetal position. Needless to say, they don’t make me babysit anymore.)
Since I moved, I havn’t had much trouble making female friends. Some of them share some of my hatred of all things stereotypically womanly, but none are as extreme as me. I have become more tolerant of the fact that they dig some chick stuff, and they, too, are pretty tolerant of my dislikes. I’ve even managed to stop some of them from forwarding cutesy tearjerker emails to me.
Diane, you and your girlfriends don’t sound too mainstream to me. You can 86 the club idea, but your group sounds pretty much like the kind of people I like.
Oh, my God, Mishell, you reminded me of something else that I loathe: those same cutesy/uplifting/precious/spiritual/tearjerking e-mails. I’m usually about six words into them before I realize what I’m reading, and it’s a race to see if I can hit the delete key before ralphing. Cygnus, how about you?
I think it’s from growing up in a neighbourhood dominated by boys and having an older brother that makes me get along so much better with men.
I’m not a tomboy, but I’m no girly-girl either. I’m just me, a happy medium.
Most of those things I can’t stand
I love hockey and a great fight on the ice, baseball games and cold beer, and playing pool. I absolutely cannot stand huge egos, whiners and rude people. I love blood and guts movies, read books on the wars, especially Vietnam and the Second World War (I have a ton of items from that one that my dad brought home). Other than a few close female friends who I trust totally, I prefer to hang out with the guys. I do bitch about men and sometimes I do it with my male friends.
On the other hand, I have a very feminine side as well.
I’m not into clubs, I’m just me.
Wow! There are others! 
pugluvr:
I meet all of your criteria.
But…
I wouldn’t say that I don’t “relate well” to other women, although the fact remains that I have a large cadre of male friends (and always have).
I have several very significant female friends, all of which could easily be defined as “best friends”. We are very close. Nothing is taboo for discussion, or experience. And since you were wondering, nope, I’m not a lesbian At least not at present 
I think that my girlfriends too, however, would meet your criteria.
I’ve never become close friends with any women who are interested in the things on your list, for obvious reasons. We have little in common. I find these things particularly uninteresting, and discussion of them, or participation with them, annoying.
I don’t mean to imply that women of this ilk are by nature annoying, but as they are preoccupied with things that don’t interest me, I don’t find myself engaged in discussion with them. I tend to avoid it.
And this in itself may be my failing. Due to my disinterest in their topics of “everyday small-talk”, I’m sure I’ve missed out on the opportunity to get to know the person underlying the “social shell”.
I’ve often wondered, while staring at the magazines targeted toward women at supermarket checkout lanes, “Who buys this stuff? Who reads this stuff?” Apparently, many women do.
I feel that the answer to this question can be directly related to “mass appeal”. Duh! Of course. If it didn’t sell, it wouldn’t last, right?
The times, they are a-changin’, but the blasted archaic mass appeal realities promoted to sell products (magazines, tv shows, books, food, you-name-it), certainly make it difficult to escape the “sucker” mindset that just absorbs everything and doesn’t question whether different interests, realities, and roles even exist.
To clarify a bit further, I must point out that I’m not a radical feminist, or a radical anything, in the sense that I don’t identify myself with a single particular radical ideology, role, or drama. And no clubs of female separatists for me either…
I do, however, consider myself to be a free radical. I know that’s not good, if we’re talking about the body’s cellular structures, but my idea is somewhat similar, though on a social-political scale.
I blend in well - most of the time. I’m not after any sort of self-aggrandizing attention - I feel it would detract from my ability to relate to others, and poison my motives.
Sure, I went through the blue hair and weird clothes stage, but who hasn’t tested the effects of their appearance? I loved it, but, due to the need to make a living, and a choice not to be a “starving artist” or have my appearance detract from my message, I opted for the “natural look”. It took me years to finally acquiesce to wearing a bra every day, though
Most importantly, I question and test everything - if not always externally, internally. I keep the dialog running, and don’t accept things at “face value” very often.
The free radical idea has to do with the fact that although I live in a city, and work at a “regular” job, I’m always tweaking the systems. I’m bumping up against oppressive ideologies, and the stultifying accepted social norms, every day. I’ve found that once I tweak a person or system’s reality, ever so slightly, they are forced to change. How they change is up to them. Whether or not my tweaking gets them to a better place, is up to them. Some people seem immune. And that’s cool, too. This doesn’t mean that I go around, day-to-day, with a goal of manipulating others. Far from it. In order to be “tweaked”, a person must be receptive to my input, and my motives must be pure.
The bottom line is that my motivation in social tweaking is, always, love. Nothing else. I actively look for the good in people. I look for the place where I can reach others. I believe that we are all in the same boat, but many of us have a perception that we are alone, tossed in the storm, and no one else can relate to our experiences, or help us if we need it. This just ain’t so. Not on a social level, a physical level, or a psychological level. And if you get down to the nitty-gritty of science, on an energy level, its really, really, not so. We’re all connected, whether we want to be or not.
My personal brand of “Social Tweaking” could be a word, or a look, a smile, or some such thing. It could be a kind deed, a discussion, a helping hand, or a refusal to “do it for” someone, when they are afraid they’ll fail. Its support, and active awareness. It could even be a message board post. It could be a refusal to back down, under threat of oppression, even though others are afraid to stand up for what they believe is right, or fight for the rights that they should be able to exercise, as unique and creative creatures of this amazing universe.
Over and over again, I’ve found that when I’m motivated by love, the universe responds in ways I never imagined. I’ve seen people, children, animals, plants, respond to love in ways which are truly transformational. And since you asked ;-), nope, I’m not a “new ager”, either.
My point is, that even the women who soak up all the mass appeal stuff we think is garbage, are more like us than we realize. Fragile human beings, who are fundamentally as alone as we are, and need to relate to others just as much as we do.
Their “veneer” prevents us from seeing them as they are, just as, I’m sure, my own “veneer” prevents others from seeing me as I am. But dammit! I try to crack my own veneer all the time!
Just as these women are sucked into the mass appeal vortex of “women’s interests”, I’m sure that I’m currently sucked into some mass appeal vortex or other. Its just not as readily apparent to me at this point, as it might be later on. If I can get the damn shackles off my consciousness long enough to see it.
I’ll never forget the line, from the film “Apocalypse Now” (wait! that’s not a Chick Flick!):
“Its judgement, which defeats us”
I think that’s what is at work here, and I’m definitely not condemning you, or anyone else for “judging”. Hell, I do it all the time! Its how I decide what I like and what I don’t. But the key here is the idea that if we could just suspend our judgements, delay them a little while, we would have a much fuller perception of what we are experiencing, who we are meeting, and what we are really looking at. Then we can decide. Then we are approaching a level closer to freedom.
I don’t plan to race out the to the supermarket and strike up a conversation with the next woman who likes the things on your list.
But… maybe I should…
BTW, this wasn’t an intentional hijack attempt. You just got me thinkin’
Omigod . . . I am closer to Diane than to Pugluvr? That has GOT to be the Seventh Sign.
I have lots of male AND female friends, and relate equally well to both (also to straight or gay people). I’m kind of a girly-girl; I like makeup, fashion, that kinda stuff. But I do NOT like romance novels, soap operas, baby showers, frilly doilies . . . On the other hand, I don’t like “guy stuff” like sports or action movies, either.
Guess I don’t fit in well with any stereotrype, which is why I can get along with anyone (or, conversely, why everyone annoys me equally).
Would a woman who hated all the previously listed “girly-type” things plus an obsession with professional wrestling be allowed into the club? If so, I’m in, baby! And, yes, I do have an IQ above 40…not by much, but that’s not important right now.
You may think that I, as a male, may have wandered into the wrong thread. But, no! Actually, I am here on behalf of my wife who fits this thread quite well. Put her in a room full of guys and she will find something to talk about with relative ease. Put her with a room full of women and she will remain quite and find little to talk about.
She doesn’t care about gossip, views shopping about as highly as I do, loves sports, doesn’t really care about the normal small talk things one might associate with women, and feels more comfortable around guys because they tend to be less emotional and more rational. Not a slam on women, but that is just her experience. Sure, she likes a good sappy movie and spending lots of time with her sister (who is pretty darn girly), but those are exceptions. So, welcome her into your female disassociation group, but be sure to have a lot of guys around so she won’t feel like an outcast.
How refreshing. Women who are honest. I don’t know if it’s that whole socially acceptable behavior thing or what, but I’ve noticed that many, many women are not honest about how they feel. They just nod politely and you can tell they’re thinking, “What a weirdo. How can you not love Ally McBeal? You play D&D?” Jeez, if they’d just be honest…I don’t need their validation, but silent condemnation sucks. I’m not talking about being opinionated to the point of dismissing anything you don’t like…I mean just being able to say…well, what you’ve all said. Effectively, “This is how I am. I busted the cookie cutter so don’t try and fit me into it.”
I’m tired of being intimidated–or feeling like I should be–by someone else’s idea of how women should be.
I do like some things that are traditionally feminine. I also hate some stuff that is traditionally feminine. Same thing with traditionally male things. What I really like are people who are real. Warts and all. I don’t see any warts on you all, but I definitely like you.
So, club or not…any time you’re in my neck o’ the woods you’re welcome to drink what you like, watch what you like and speak your mind. Heck, you can even flirt with my husband…he loves that sh**.
I’m not so weird after all (at least in this respect).
Although I do relate well to other women and enjoy doing stuff with my friends, I don’t like:
-Catty, malicious gossip (don’t these insecure bitches have anything better going on in their boring little lives?)
-All day shopping excursions (go in the store, get what you need/want, go home!) I sure as hell don’t want to stand around at a cocktail party and talk about shopping either.
-High maintenance, whiney, clinging wives/SO’s (please see insure bitch statement above). 'Nough said.
I relate well to other women. Doesn’t matter what kind of books they read either. I like true crime, horror, sci-fi, adventure, an occasional romance if there is a lot of sex and it isn’t too sappy. One reason that I usually make friends with other women easily is because I am not envious of other women. I have noticed that women who are constantly envious or feel threatened by other women don’t have many women friends. Whoever said women are not as competitive as men didn’t know shit about women.
Needs2know