My wife described someone as having made a pass at her 54 years ago (a few months before we were married) and I asked her to describe what he had actually done. Her description sounded an awful lot like what I would have understood by the phrase, “he came on to her”. A lot of sweet talk, but no actual touching. We are so innocent that I agreed to ask TSD what these two phrases actually mean in practice. Maybe this a GQ, but I suspect that opinions might differ.
Sounds to me like he was “hitting on” her. I don’t typically use either phrase used in the thread title, but I’m in my thirties so that may have something to do with it.
I would take “coming on to/hitting on/making a pass” to mean flirting, but perhaps a notch up from just a demure look across a room.
I think of “flirting” and “coming on to” as pretty much the same thing – chatting, dropping hints, giving nonverbal clues, basically trying to demonstrate that you’re interested in the other person without saying it outright.
I think of “hitting on” and “making a pass at” as more direct. You’re stating outright that you want a date or a roll in the sack.
Yeah, my understanding of ‘make a pass’ is using subtle or not so subtle language/actions to sound out a potential bed partner that you’re interested and seeing if they are as well.
From what we’ve been hearing about, it may be necessary to be increasingly precise, as in: He “made a pass at” her, but then he “came on to” the potted plant.
To me they are basically synonyms but “Making a pass” connotes a physical element and slightly more intensity. As far as what they mean, they mean “showing unsolicited romantic interest in someone that is usually but not always unwelcome.”
‘Hitting on’ sounds more sinister, to me. ‘Making a pass’ is more casual. ‘Coming on to’ denotes a previous understanding or familiarity. IMO.
I’ve always understood that “making a pass” is, specifically, attempting to get a kiss.
Hitting-on is flirting with a thinly veiled intention to have sex.
Flirting is just having fun with words and innuendo.
I’ve never viewed making a pass as necessarily including physical contact. I would use it interchangeably with ‘‘hitting on.’’ Trying to get laid. Or maybe just wanting a date.
‘‘Coming on to’’ I guess I view as a bit stronger, but still not necessarily involving physical contact. If someone is coming onto someone, I assume they are making an overt sexual comment or invading personal space or something that otherwise can be interpreted as, ''Let’s have sex now." It’s also usually used when the attention is unwanted.
On the other hand 54 years ago these phrases may have had different meanings. The classic example is “making love” which changed from flirting in the 1930s to having sex in recent years.
Thread title made me think I would find live streaming sports here.
That is a pretty wild swing and I’m curious how it happened.