Making amends for something I did when I was four

I’m puting this in the pit, because I think my actions were pitworthy.

When I was four (I’m 36 now), I had a babysitter who was 13 years old. I have no idea why i did it, but I threatened her with a butcher knife. She kicked me in the shin, and I cried, then her father came over to make sure she was safe. My parents made me apologize to her afterwards.

I think about it from time to time. I’ve had people treat me pretty cruelly in my life, and I know that kind of stuff sticks in your head for a long time. I feel I may have messed up her life in some kind of way.

I’m thinking about hiring a private investigator to track her down so I can apologize to her. But maybe she doesn’t even remember the whole thing? I don’t know what the right course of action is.

So, anyway, tell me. What should I do? Should I leave it alone, or should I try to make amends?

Forgive yourself, you were young and stupid.

Tracking her down after 32 years would be creepy.

Do one random act of kindness in her name and move on.

It’s probably poisoned your life far more than hers anyway.

Yep, forgive yourself and move on.

It’s probably just an interesting anecdote she uses when discuss teenage jobs. I very much doubt you’ve scarred her for life (pun not intended).

My god, what kind of masochist are you?

My mother was angry at me for 12 years for something I did when I was 5, but hell, I’ll never claim she was rational to begin with.

If the worst thing that’s ever happened to her is some kid half her size going Stephen King and being speedily subdued, she’s sure led a cozy life :stuck_out_tongue:

I did run into one of the nastiest kids I used to babysit, years later… “I’m not sure if you’ll remember me” “my shins remember your kicks juuuuuust fine, your lastname suits you two” “oops!” We’re good friends, but dang, if the Barn brothers had come up to my mother’s house 30 years after I’d babysat them specifically to apologize for those kicks I would have been a lot more freaked out than grateful.

By all means, track her down. Show up at her doorstep unannounced and ring the doorbell. When she answers, kind of tip your head down and roll your eyes back up into your head like the crazy guy always does in Kubrick films and get a big leering grin and drool a little and say, “Remember me? The knife? I was four, and you were thirteen? Behh heh heh hehhhh…” then go all happy and normal and smiling and stuff and say, real cheerful, “Well, I just wanted to say I’m sorry! 'K? Wanna go see a movie and have a soda and stuff?”

I bet she gives you a big hug.

Relax, Chuckie :wink: . I’m sure that if she hasn’t forgotten about it by now, she doesn’t want to see the adult version of you at her doorstep, obviously still thinking about the incident (might freak her ass right out).

You were four. You didn’t spend your life in a mental institution. You presumably live a healthy and productive life. Give yourself a break.

Not only should you track her down and show up unannounced at her house, but you should also bring the butcher knife or one just like it so she will know what your talking about.

Yes!!! Do exactly this! And if she doesn’t open up right away, speaking of Kubrick, throw yourself at the door and snarl “HEEEEEEEERE’S BrightNShiny!!!” into the crack. It’ll be good for laughs all around.

What kind of frequent flyer miles have you received on this Guilt Trip, bub?

Let it go and move on.

Well I know a girl that was threatened by a boy she was babysitting with a chef’s knife. But he was about 10.

You were 4?
Forget about it.

Michael Meyers first babysitter was more fortunate than the last…

It sounds like you’ve learned not to threaten baby sitters with butcher knives.

Go, and sin no more.

Good for them. The babysitter forgave you at this time, so no need to find her and issue a second apology.

You can make amends by forgiving the transgressions of a child.

Is this a whoosh?

I deally, you’d want to bring the knife with you when you do track her down. You know, to jog her memory.

I threatened the kids I used to babysit for with a knife.

We’re still good friends.

Um, if you managed to get your hands on a butcher knife then is it fair to say that maybe she could’ve been keeping a closer eye on you?

Creepy. If you’re still feeling guilt over this, then maybe the person you should be tracking down is a shrink. Or a bartender.

(And I don’t say that to be mean. I mean it. If it’s an issue for you, talk to someone.)

Ok, I wasn’t going to personally visit her. I was thinking about writing a letter. If everybody feels there’s no point, I’ll forget about it.

Can a mod close this thread? Thanks.

I suggest you content yourself with the idea of her version of the story being “some little snot-nosed punk pulled a knife on me but I knocked him down and the little bastard cried his eyes out. GIRL POWER!”