I’m sorry I “disgusted and sickened” anyone with my post in this thread. Those of you who know me, know that it is not my nature to offend. Nor do I make a habit of drawing attention to myself. I try to be lighthearted and silly, and usually succeed.
I didn’t know that I was going to reveal something so personal, until it was already done. I realize that it’s a very serious subject matter, and perhaps even more shocking because it came from me.
Aparantly, my casual attitude toward the event is more offensive to some, than the actual post. The only thing I can say in my defense is; My attitude is regarding THAT event and not the subject of rape. It was a lifetime ago. I’m not the same person that I was back then. As I said in another post in the same thread, I hadn’t thought about it in years. As strange as that may seem, it’s a common way for people to deal with a traumatic event.
As far as I know, I’ve never offended anyone in the 4 years I’ve been here. Even when I disagree with an opinion, I usually ignore it.
So, it’s very upsetting to me that I offended, just by being open. Maybe I was feeling too comfortable here and needed a slap in the face.
Actually I think the fact that you were dating a 20 something guy who was just out of prison was more shocking for a lot of people than the rape part. People get raped. Some people can get past it. I think it is really great if you can- you can get back to living your life again rather than defining it by what happened to you long ago.
As this isn’t the Pit, I freely admit that I have a ‘sit in a lawn chair’ mentality about the whole thing.
You have no need to apologize and I think it was both brave and helpful for you to post what you did, in that thread.
WIth any luck, some young kid will read it and maybe think twice before getting into a situation like that.
Or maybe someone else will relate and respond. We are trying to fight ignorance here and sometimes that means bringing up real life experience.
At any rate, an apology is something you do not have to offer to anybody.
And congrats on surviving such a horror and becoming the person you are today!
You have nothing to apologize for. I admit that I found your post in the other thread disquieting, but that’s not a reflection on you. You gave an honest answer to an OP, and you shouldn’t feel bad about that.
Me, I felt bad because even though you made it clear that this happened long ago and you had made your peace with it, for me, reading it, it had just happened. I was angry – but for you, not at you. You didn’t “disgust and sicken” me. Some other characters in your post, well – let’s just say they’re not on my Christmas card list.
It’s very noble of you to offer an apology to soothe whoever may have been offended, but I think it was unnecessary. And you absolutely shouldn’t apologize because you’ve come to terms with your past. That’s healthy, not sick.
So, in summary: you rock, hillbilly queen!
I used the term “date” very loosely. We were’nt having sex, and I think he took me out twice. But he was respected in the neighborhood, and made me feel safe.
And idiot that I was, the ex-con factor was dreamy.
Well, I missed it the first time around, but yeah, you sure did kill that thread!
Don’t apologise.
You have every right to share that story. And I admire you for getting through it. At 17, I watch my friends get into silly predicaments, and some into far more serious one. I fortunately have never been in that situation. But my best friend was.
[hijack]
We were at a party, I was the “Desi” and I was supposed to be driving my bestie, my sister and my boyfriend home. Everything went to plan, the others were drinking and having a good time. Then my friend met this guy who was a friend of a friend of the host and who wasn’t actually invited and just kinda tagged along. Well my friend was past tipsy by this point and I figured it was almost time for her to be taken home. When it hit about 1am, the party was still kicking, but by boyfriend, sister and I were more than ready to leave. My bestie was drunk by this point and would NOT leave this guy or the party. I pleaded, begged, got my boyfriend to pick her up over his shoulder until she bit him. Nnow I know that if she hadnt been drinking, she would’ve come straight away, just goes to show the dangers of alcohol. Anyway, this guy comes over, tells us to leave her the Eff alone and that he’ll take her home when they’re ready. Drink driving of course but neither of them cared. At 3am myself and my boyfriend were at home in bed asleep when my phone rang. I saw my bestie’s number came up and figured that she wanted me to pick her up from the party. I rejected it a few times in hope that maybe she’d learn a lesson. The 4th time she rang I answered it. My bestie was on the other end in absolute hysterics begging me to come and pick her up from a golf course half an hour away. I asked her what had happened but she just screamed at me to pick her up. So off I went thinking that she was ranting on about something and that the guy had just left her there.
When I finally got there, I walked all over the golf course for half an hour in the dark until I found her cowering in a bunker on the far side of the course. When I found her, her clothes were ripped, she had been bashed, robbed, her face and hair was covered in grass, dirt and leaves. She was crying and I had no idea what was going on. I ran all the way back to my car, drove through a fence and onto the golf course, picked her up, put her in my car and drove back out the way I came in (No, I wasnt thinking about the consequences like the fence, the damage to the golf course or my car).
Anyway, I took her back to my house, made her a coffee and told her to tell me what the fuck happened. Apparently, this guy called a few of his friends to meet him at the golf course for some ‘fun’. The fun turned out to be raping and bashing my friend. One guy was holding her down using pliers on her nipples and bashing her. another guy raping her orally, another vaginally and the guy she was with, anally. It was at that moment that I called the cops. That was about a month ago. My friend tried to commit suicide the next day.
[\hijack]
These things happen. You shared your story, now I’ve shared mine.
To the people that are offended…you could’ve stopped reading after the first sentence. But you didnt. Thats your problem. Get bent.
Don’t apologize, hq, and ignore the snarky folks. It is possible to go on with your life after something like that. I was sexually assaulted in college, and even though it consumed a lot of my thoughts and such back then, I got through it and moved on. You’re a strong woman and I’m impressed that you made it.
hillbilly queen you have nothing to apologize for. You shared a really painful memory and said that you have been able to move on from it, which is good. Like campion I was more angry at the guys because reading it felt like it was something happening right now. Who knows, maybe someone will read this and become more aware. The way I see it, you did a good thing by telling your story.
I feel sympathy for HQ. I don’t think she’s amazingly strong for sharing with 50,000 of her closest friends and I’m not amazed by her strength or anything, but, sheesh, sympathy. Millions of girls have been assaulted at a party. Or “party.” I’ve been assaulted at a party-or-“party.”
However, I agree that you don’t go into a thread talking about stupid cat tricks and detail the slow, agonizing way in which your cat DIED due to a SCT gone bad.
HQ realizes this, from what I can see. You, on the other hand, are guilty of precisely the same behavior for which people were (only barely, for crying out loud) irked at HQ: posting inappropriately in a thread.
I never thought HQ was good, bad, or indifferent; now I think she’s got a nice grip on reality and is probably a swell chick. You, however, sound like a member of the Greens on the Valdez.
Keep it calm, everyone; there’s no need to snipe at one another, whether you’re mentioning a poster by name or preemptively telling folks to “get bent”. If you’re unhappy with a poster, take it to the Pit.
Now, for my personal opinion: hillbilly queen, you have nothing for which you need to apologize. Generally, as a thread contributor in MPSIMS, I look to the OP for how he/she wants the thread to go. Mr. Blue Sky had no problem with the post being there, so you’re fine.
And I’m very sorry that happened to you. I can’t imagine the pain and anguish you must have gone through, but I’m happy you survived and are here with us today.
I imagine what spurred the objections over your post in the other thread was that it was so . . . jarring. Given the tone of the thread and of your post up until your story’s last lines, yours seemed like the kind of tale that would end with, “They were still pretty pissed about the tires, so they ditched me in a part of town I’d never been to, and it took me four hours to find my way home.” Reading the story’s actual ending made my eyes bug out.
And, as others have said, there was no need for you to apologize, but it is a classy thing to have done.
Well, color me confused.
I can’t imagine anyone sane actually wanting you to apologize for getting over a crappy thing that happened to you when you were a teenager.
Perhaps you should still groan over that C- you got on your grade 11 trig exam, and the fact that your prom dress got punch spilled on it.
An lest anyone think I’m not taking the rape thing seriously enough - I too was raped as a teen. Guess what - I got over it, everyone else should too. It’s called being a survivor.
FWIW, I’ve always thought HQ rocked, and her post certainly did nothing to change that - just showed that we have more in common than I originally knew (ie - a taste for “bad boys” and a penchant for getting ourselves in bad situations)
I don’t think you have anything to apologise for, personally. I’m glad that you were resillient enough to be able to put it behind you. Many teenage girls have, unfortunately, had similar experiences.
Ditto, and I can’t believe people were “offended” - this kind of stuff happens every day and is happening right now. We need to be aware of it, and teach ourselves & our kids.
Just to emphasize what I said earlier, hillbilly queen (your Majesty!) what you posted just may well make another teenaged girl stop and think. You already ranked pretty high in my book but the guts it took to relate that story earned you about a gazillion points more.
As others have said, YOU ROCK HQ!!!
Hillbilly, you have no cause to be ashamed. Period.
Look, I sincerely hope this won’t be taken the wrong way. And FTR, I don’t think HQ owes an apology either. But.
It’s not about whether HQ should be ashamed to admit that she was raped. That’s a strawman. It’s what VarlosZ said. Reading that last paragraph was like getting sucker-punched. The thread was about hilariously awkward things that have happened at parties. I had no idea that there would be anything in there that would make my stomach lurch and my hands shake. There is a time and place for everything, and I just personally don’t think that was the right time and place.
I have given serious thought to starting a thread to ask if there’s a line between stories that can be told in any thread, and stories that should be confined to “Most traumatic experiences” threads. But a) I wasn’t sure what forum that belonged in and b) I suspect it would just derail into people trying to out-Four Yorkshiremen each other.
Ok, say maybe I came on a little strong. I apologise for jumping in without thinking and sorry to those who may have been a leedle upset by my ranting…
Greens on the Valdez. WHAT THE?!
Please don’t send me to the pit…its hot and ranty in there