Making ice cubes AIN'T cooking! Die you bastard!

The BBQ Pit
1

Do you see that faucet, you moron? The one over the sink you always leave your mug half full of cold coffee sitting in?

Guess what? If you raise that lever, WATER COMES OUT. Wow! Ain’t that amazing?

Next, may I direct your attention to the empty ice cube tray? The one you picked half the ice out of, and then abandonned on the counter beside the sink? Looks rather out of place there, doesn’t it? With forlorn puddles of water in half the little dents and all?

Next item: that big stainless steel box we like to call ‘the refrigerator’, in particular the bottom half, nicknamed ‘the freezer’? You’ve met the freezer, haven’t you? Of course you have: YOU JUST TOOK THAT ICE CUBE TRAY OUT OF IT, ASSWIPE.

Your drink tastes real good right now, doesn’t it? All nice and cold because you filled your glass with ice cubes. Really hits the spot, especially since it’s over ninety degrees, humid, and the airconditioner died yesterday. MMmmm. Cold drink, cold glass to rub against your face, you’re loving it.

So why the hell don’t you realize that that MORE ICE will be needed soon? Like for MY DRINK, you selfish, lazy, rotten bastard??? When I finally get home from running errands all over town, most of which are at least half for YOUR BENEFIT, all hot and tired and sweaty and needing a cold drink…and THERE’S NO ICE.

And what’s your excuse for this state of No Ice? “We agreed you’d do all the cooking if I do all the lawn work.”

:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

If you do this again, you WILL DIE.

DIE. DIE. DIE. Die like the miserable dog you are.

You think I can’t kill you? Just because you’re twice my size? HAH!

Even though I don’t cut the grass, I know where the gas can is stored.

I know where the matches are.

Ever seen The Burning Bed?

That’s right. If you want to be able to sleep with both eyes shut ever again, I suggest you NEVER do this again.

Sheesh! YOU were the one who insisted we didn’t need a fridge with an automatic ice maker. ‘How hard is it to fill ice trays’ YOU said. Well, evidently too hard for YOU. :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

2

Whoa.

I think someone really needs a cool drink.

3

Uh, chill out?

4

ICE CUBES

2 cups water

Ladle 2 tablespoons water into each indentation of a standard ice cube tray. Place tray in freezer. Cubes are done when hard.

5

Sounds like cooking to me! :slight_smile:

6

Ice is civilization!

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Yeah…yeah…mmmmhehheh heh mm yeah…FIRE. FIRE. FIRE. mm heh heh mm heh m heh. FIRE. Yeah. DO IT. Heh heh hehheh m heh.

8

Shut up, Beavis.

9

Invention idea:

The Crying Ice Tray:

The Crying Ice Tray wails whenever it is left out of the freezer for longer than 3 minutes. The Crying Ice tray screams a loud alarm whenever it is put back in the freezer without any ice in it. The Crying Ice Tray blathers whenever it is only partially filled up with water because the filler is in too much of a hurry to make sure that all compartments contain ample liquid. Batteries not included. $19.95

I’ll be rich!

(Goes off to plan…)

10

Hmm, I’m going to have to go with the gasoline and matches. In fact, I just complained about this the other day in a different thread. My ex-girlfriend did this. Except instead of putting the empty trays on the counter, she put them back in the freezer. And when I complained, it wasn’t the sorry and lame “I don’t cook”, it was the smarmy and twisted “Oh, don’t be so anal.” Some people just don’t get the bloody obvious.

11

Yes and make it so if someone tries to put it back in with just one cube left in it, they get a severe case of freezer burn.

12

And a glass of warm cola.

13

Holy shit. That takes some serious balls to try to pull that one off. Or possibly a severe head injury.

14

Grrrr, I had a roomate like this, and it’s maddening. Once I recovered from the utter assholishness of such an attitude, I started to fight back. I nitpicked just like she did, renegotiated the deal, booby trapped my ice cubes, hid them, and did very mean, sneaky things in the end. Eventually I graduated and moved the hell out.

Looking back, I’d say either get your own little fridge and put a lock on it, or just make a big-ass bunch of ice cubes so the jerk can grab a handful instead of taking the tray out. Please feel free to spit in the cubes, or anything else disgusting and passive aggressive you’d enjoy.

15

This is part of the general, “Didn’t your mother teach you not to do that when you were 5,” line of personal problems.

At work, we have a nice coffee maker. Incredibly easy; filters on top of the coffee pot, little foil bags that contain exactly the amount of coffee to make one pot. When the pot is empty, you dump the old filter and grounds straight into the trash that is literally right below the coffee machine, insert new filter, tear foil bag open to dump pre-ground coffee into new filter, and start the machine.

Yet these self-centered, assholish, purportedly sophisticated and professional people I work with, most of whom are 30 or older, always leave a damn trickle in the bottom of the pot, and never start a new pot when they take a cup. I mean, you know there is something wrong when 2 out of 3 times you go to get a cup, you have to make a full pot.

I hate humanity; let it never be doubted that we are lazy animals, and not the higher thinkers we consider ourselves.

16

And people think I’m weird for not liking ice. Ha! In your faces, all you frustrated ice-lovers!
I love the Crying Ice Tray idea, Biotop.

17

Moderator…Moderator… Mr StarvingButStrong is proposing killing someone. I got a mod warning for just hoping someone (and their ilk) would die (which I appealed successfully via email to the mod), but why the double standard? Why has this dopper not given a warning?

18

Would you like a ruler to smack fingers of the misbehaving gum chewers as well?

19

Oh, yeah. I know how that game works. You agree to do the cooking and somehow doing the cooking is interpreted as “you’re going to be my mommy and spoil me and I’m going to be a complete and total lazy slob and you’re going to follow me around the house cleaning up my messes, my dishes, and while I sit here on the couch you’re going to spend all your time in the kitchen cooking and cleaning and providing me with an endless supply of food, just like a baby bird just sits in the nest with its mouth open crying for food and mommy is totally devoted to doing nothing but shoveling food into its mouth and on those occasions I do wander into the kitchen, I’m going to totally ransack it and it’s your job to clean it up, because, you know, you’re my mommy now.”

Ok, how about I start raising elephants in the backyard because, you know, it’s your job to “take care of the yard.”

20

Ooh, ooh, I’ve got it - by that logic, leave the ice cube trays out in the yard. Also, leave all the dirty dishes and dirty clothes out there, too.