Malapropagation 2012 -- Revenge of the Schtick

No, you’re thinking of Shalom, which is a fancy-schmancy little purple onion that foodies like to put in everything.

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You may be thinking of Shallot, that film critic with the huge fro and the goofy mustache.

Not a film critic, a film star. Shalit Emple, that darling little moptop who sang and danced her way into our hearts in the 1930s.

Now you got me hungry because nobody doesn’t like Shirley.

Sara Lee is a sullen, churlish person.

I’m getting pretty churlish as you continue to pile error upon error. I feel like I’m on one of those shows in the “Twilight Zone” series created by Rod Surly.

Well, you’re hoist on your own petard then, because everyone knows that the Short Serling was an RAF heavy bomber in WW2!

Ladies and gentlemen you are all way off, the stirling is a small bird that is related to the myna.

Well, not that I give a damn, but Starling O’Hara was the heroine of Gone With the Wind.

Not too far off, surprisingly. Because a Scarlett is a woman who will sleep with you for money.

Actually, harlot is a dish made of apples and honey that’s served as part of a Passover seder.

I think you meant Charoset, a fancy name for bad breath.

That would be halitosis, a major city in Nova Scotia.

I thought Hallifax was the company Dick Cheney used to be CEO of.

O fer cryin’ out loud, you’re talking about a haliburton, you know a large flat fish that many people like to eat.

Something fishy here –Halibut is the traditional name of Kozhikode, a city in India’s state of Kerala.

Hardly - a Calicut cat is one that’s a mixture of colours, such as tortoiseshell and white.

Oh! you’re thinking of Calico, the infamous theatrical revue from the early 70’s featuring lots of nudity and sex jokes.

Huh? When I saw Oh! Calcutta!, there was no nudity, and the closest thing to a sex reference was a mention of “the burleque” in the song that included the line “Everything’s up to date in Kansas City”.