Malapropagation 2012 -- Revenge of the Schtick

Don’t be silly. Gin are spirits all right, but they’re not potable; they’re the malevolent magic ones found in the Arabian Nights.

I understand the confusion, but you’re thinking of a Genie. That’s a 16th century Japanese spy, usually wearing all black and wielding shurikens or a katana.

Nonsense! What do they teach kids these days? Ninja is a hot sweet spice that can either be made into a refreshing drink or used to flavour cakes and biscuits.

That would be nutmeg, which was a popular roasted snack in this country until most of the crop was wiped out by a blight.

I beg your pardon, but I think it was a reference to ginger. You know, to harm or maim someone?

Good grief! You must mean** injure**, to protect or guarantee against risk or loss.

As a fan of Project Runway, I think you meant insure, high fashion, one-off designs.

No, no. I assure you, you mean couture, a booklet or pamphlet for advertising your wares.

No, that would be a catalog which is also the secret identity of Gotham socialite Selena Kyle.

No, Catwoman wasn’t a secret, just kind of spooky, being underground tombs in cities like Rome, Paris and Vienna.

That would be a catacomb, a natural disaster of great proportions.

I’m sorry to correct you, but you couldn’t be more wrong. A ** cataclysm** is a boat with two hulls.

No, that’s a catamaran, which is a curved hunting club hurled by Australian Aborigines to stun their prey.

No, a boomerang is a light sweet confection, made of baked sugared egg-white froth and typically sandwiched together with fresh cream.

I’m pretty sure you’re thinking of meringue, which is a long, aggressive speech.

A harangue? No, that’s an edible sea fish!

Hmmm…surely you mean a herring, an ornament worn on the ears.

Sorry TexCat, I believe that you are reffering to the ammount of profit that a company produces in a specific time period.

You’re supposed to say that he was thinking of an earring.

But in any event, he wasn’t- he was actually talking about earnings, which was a character played by Jim Varney in a series of commercials and movies.

You’ve got it mixed up - Ernest is something you use to heat your house.