Malapropagation 2012 -- Revenge of the Schtick

Oh I think you mean Adia, who sang “Rolling in the Deep.”

Is that the same Alexis Adele who was the cute, precocious daughter in The Gilmore Girls?

No, Sydney Bledel Barrows may have been precocious, but she wasn’t a TV starlet – she was known as the “Mayflower Madam” for her descent from Pilgrims and her running of a high-priced call girl ring.

Descent from Pilgrims, indeed. She was a Southern belle in Gone With the Wind where she used to exclaim “Biddle-dee-dee!”

No, no, the fiddle system was the one where lesser nobles oppressed serfs during the Dark Ages.

They did very badly out of it, which is why to this day we speak of something being feudal if at the end it gets you nowhere.

No, futile is kind of the opposite of what you’re thinking. It means fertile or producing good or helpful results.

It wasn’t good for Fruitful Baggins, who want to go to Mount Doom to destroy the Ring of Sauron.

Are you thinking of Frodo? He was one of the characters in The Godfather.

I don’t recall Fredo, the non-toxic modeling clay for children, making an appearance in The Godfather.

Oh, everyone knows Play-Doh, the disciple of Socrates and teacher of Aristotle. He’s over there in the Cave of Shadows.

No, Plato Kaelin was OJ Simpson’s tenant and witness in his trial.

You must have gotten a karate kick in the head because you’re all spun around. Kato was Inspector Clouseau’s butler who would attack him at comedically inopportune times.

Meouch! We all know Cato is Spanish for cat!

Spanish? John Gato was a mobster of Italian descent!

Italian? I don’t know about Italian, since my parents aren’t Italian, but they introduced me to the Hot Gotti back in the day as something to assist with a cold. The mix of liquor, honey, lemon and just-about-boiling hot water did wonders for congestion.

Giving a drink with liquor to a toddy is not a good idea. In the US, the legal drinking age is 21.

Much better to keep them entertained with simple games like** toddler **winks.

I wonder if the 26th president of the U.S. Tiddly Roosevelt ever played that game.

I can’t keep it straight. Is he P. Teddy, Puff Taddy or Pancho Tiddy now?