I mean, we have Penthouse centerfolds with women going at it. We have Gigli, a lesbian who ends up with a guy. We have that Russian duo creating a sensation with their lesbian act.
Of course, heterosexuality is in no danger of extinction in popular American culture.
Why is the idea of sex between men represented as either a “Will” choice a la “Will and Grace” or else “Oz,” i.e., something men engage in only when they have no choice?
Furthermore, in my experience, other cultures are far more accepting of male bisexuality than America. What accounts for the difference?
(Yes, I did a search for this topic, and but didn’t find it…)
Because most of our pop culture is still created by straight men or closeted gay men. They have to create the illusion of a huge distance between them and anything gay, and refuse to acknowledge the existence of any shades of gray (shades of gay?) that might label them as bisexual. Most straight guys have a huge psychological investment in their heterosexuality, and it can be even worse with closeted gay men, and anything that might compromise this sends them running like a bunch of sissies.
I would say confusion and ignorance. I’ve done panels with my college GSA and what confused the people most wasn’t my identification as gay, but rather my placement of “5” on the Kinsey scale. I got more questions about that than anything else, because people just don’t get it. Yeah I’m gay, but yeah I also can tell and react (up to a certain point) when a woman is attractive. Yes I’m sure. No I’m not in denial, because its caused me more confusion than actually accepting my liking men. No I don’t identify as bi to the general public, because you all get so goddamn confused and its not worth my time normally to explain that I can kinda like women, but still very much prefer men. No I’m not going to point out who in this room I find attractive. Why? Because thats really none of your business. No I’m not a manwhore.
Anyway yeah, people never quite get gray areas right off the bat. They can get that “some men like men”. They can get that “many men like women”. They can’t quite get that “some men like both men and women to varying degrees”. Neat boxes are so much easier to grasp.
I’m baffled. Exactly what special, exclusive contributions do male bisexuals have to offer American culture? What is missing that only they can provide? I’m not trying to be snarky here, it just seems that, stripped of the voguishness of homosexuality, the OP is a non-issue.
Well, simply consider some famous bisexuals: Lord Byron; the Marquis de Sade; Alexander the Great; David Bowie (he is bisexual, isn’t he?); (someone help me here)…
did you ever read “A Separate Peace”? Or see “Making Love”?
That is, male bisexuality is almost always portrayed as something 1. foreign; 2. ancient (and thus, discarded); 3. self-destructive; and 4. tragic.
Except for a brief golden age during the 70’s, it has disappeared as a real state of being.
Lamia’s Grand Unified Theory of American Depictions of Non-Heterosexual Characters is as follows:
A male character may be as gay as a day in May, provided the audience is spared any needless evidence that he might actually have a sex life that involves other men. Singing showtunes while dressed in drag and arranging flowers is okay, but going on a date with or worse still KISSING another man should be avoided if at all possible.
A female character can kiss another woman, claim to be a lesbian, or even have sex with another woman as long as we know at the end of the day that she doesn’t really mean it. She’d probably rather be sleeping with some studmuffin like…Ben Affleck. Gah.
There are, of course, exceptions, but I feel this pretty well sums things up.
So, under this system we cannot have any bisexual men. There would be no way to make it clear that they were bisexual and not merely effete heteros other than by showing them actually involved with other men. And then things would all go to hell in a handbasket!
Speaking personally the lack of actual lesbians bothers me a bit more (under #2 above all women must be either heterosexual or hetero-leaning bisexuals), but if I were a bisexual man I’d probably feel differently.
Now, there have been some studies that suggest that men really are less likely than women to be bisexual, or at least to self-identify as bisexual, but I don’t think there’s any way to be sure at this point if that’s really true.
Have you seen Oz? Or Smallville? Holy homoeroticism, Superman. It’s out there (albeit vaguely), you just gotta know where to look (and believe me, there are plenty of straight women looking).
Maybe it is because bisexual men have such a low profile that such homoeroticism works so well?
I mean, if Duncan and Methos, or Lex and Clark, etc, actually came out as bisexual wouldn’t that lessen the tension?
I don’t know. I think it’s a good thing. As Lamia says, bisexual women are not exactly portrayed well. They usually end up with a guy. Maybe if males in the media were actually stated to be bisexual, they would be turned into bad stereotypes.
Marilyn Manson admitted to oral sex with Twiggy (or whatever that guy’s name is) on Howard Stern. Howard’s reaction was, needless to say, nonplussed.
Talking out my ass, hehheh, I have a hypotheses. Penetration is unattractive. Most lesbian activity, as imagined by the average schlub, is of the kissing/rubbing/licking “softcore” type, which is less offensive. (Certainly less offensive by MPAA standards…) Whereas the common perception of male/male action is usually assumed to be of a more “hardcore” variety–i.e: involving penetration.
I hadn’t thought about the “lesbians are okay as long as they end up with men” angle before, but not that you mention it, I see it plain as day. Chasing Amy and Kissing Jessica Stein jump to mind immediately. I think the reasons for that are obvious…men feel less threatened “knowing” that deep down lesbians really want to be with men.
I think the best reason for this lack of bi men can be described in something I heard earlier today…
“bi today, gay later”.
this is how most people react to bi men. it seems to me in my rather long history, that gay men will come out as bi first to kinda “test the waters” as it were to how people will react, then they “date” exclusively men, and slowly define themselves as gay. so there is my hypothesis on why you don’t find as many bi men in america. this of course discounts the entire machismo thing, but that is another topic for another day.
Great comments so far. I would second the idea that male bisexuality can be seen as tragic. In real life, it often is.
Both my parents are/were bisexual (now there’s your sitcom right there!). My mother is fine with it. My dad didn’t fare as well. With all the arguments about “choice”, it seems as though bisexuals are the only ones who do have to make a choice - if they want a long term committed relationship.
All relationships are compromise, and monogamy can be an effort, but for bisexuals, the compromise and effort are all the greater. My father kept veering back and forth between men and women, and (he claimed) never felt he could give 100% to anyone. And he desperately wanted that kind of connection. Tragic, right?
This might not be true for all who identify as bisexuals - perhaps only for people who land smack in the middle of the sexual continuum. But they are out there.
I think that men are just built differently. With them it is much more likely to be all or nothing. For most of the men I have known (including myself), the idea of male homoerotcism is not merely unattractive, it is physically repulsive. I have found this to not be nearly as so with women.
I would not be surprised if many, if not most, of the men who label themselves as bi-sexual, are actually gay and are not ready to admit it to themselves.
Speaking as a straight guy, I don’t like gay and bisexual imagery. I don’t have any problem with such imagery existing, or with people enjoying it, but I can’t think of a reason in the world why I should like it. I’ll just watch sumpin’ I do like.
I guess what I’m saying is, the reason just might be that bisexuals constitute a very small percentage of U.S. culture, even smaller than gays. The media will go where the money is, which is also where the eyeballs are. No big mystery here.
Well in Chasing Amy, the whole backstory was that the girl played by Joey Lauren Adams had turned to women after having been around the block with every guy on it.
Speaking as a gay/bisexual guy, I found male homoeroticism physically repulsive as well while at the same time being aroused by it. It was something foreign I had been trained to find disgusting, but I also found it powerfully alluring. The two are not mutually exclusive. I’m not saying its the same for you, or even most straight guys, but I do think the revulsion is more a cultural artifact than innate characteristic. I know a lot of very straight men who just feel a great big “ehh” when they see gay erotica.
As for the assertion that many men who label themselves bi are actually gay… possibly. I would say consider how long they have been doing so in an “out” sort of way. If they’ve been out as a bisexual guy for years, I seriously doubt its because they’re afraid to be gay. Why? Because the simple fact of the matter is that it can be tougher to be an open bisexual male than openly gay. Not gay enough for the gays and not straight enough for the straights. Stuck between the Devil and the deep blue sea, as it were.
I don’t understand this statement. Are you soley attracted to other men? Then, by definition, you’re gay. Are you also attracted to women? Then, by definition, you’re bisexual. At least that’s how I’ve come to understand the terms. I’m confused (it actually isn’t any of my business at all, which always seems to get lost on most people, but since we’re having the discussion).
I’m sexually attracted to both men and women. I happen to be in a monogamous relationship with a woman right now, but had I found a man that stirred the same feelings, with whom I shared the same interests, and with whom I felt the same degree of connection, I could have just as easily been in a monogamous relationship with him. That’s it in a nutshell, really. It isn’t particularly splashy or exciting. Popular culture isn’t particularly interested in normal, everyday things like trying to make mortgage payments, raise kids, etc. etc. etc. Popular culture is interested in bigger than life personalities - extremes, if you will. Most bisexual people that I know aren’t particularly extreme in any regard. They’re just people.
What special, exclusive contributions do female bisexuals have to offer American culture? Why are they so more commonly depicted in the mass mediatainment today?