Man Gets Banned From Walmart...

[Spiderman]

@Machine_Elf

Alarm clocks take too much effort, but I used to do this pretty regularly with the wind-up kitchen timers in stores like Bed Bath & Beyond. One quick twist of the dial, and the timer is set; you can wind up ten of them in ten seconds.

That’s one of the most assaholic things I’ve never yet done!
(I won’t be able to type the above sentence tomorrow. :o)

[Drunky_Smurf]

If this were real I would vote for him for President.

[freckafree]

Back when the Tickle Me Elmo was the hot Christmas toy, I was in a Walmart when a pair of teenage boys went through an aisle packed with said Elmos and set them all giggling at once. It was pretty funny…

[GrumpyBunny]

@california_jobcase

#2 is fun to do. I used to turn the wigs on mannequins and rumple their clothing back in the day.

When I worked retail in a department store, the staff of the department I worked in (better men’s sportswear) would dress one mannequin in the worst clothing in the department. Just the one mannequin, not all of them.

[Eyebrows_0f_Doom]

@kferr

I did something similar by accident. A toy store had a display of teddy bears that had a record/playback device in them. You’d say something to it and a couple seconds later it would repeat what you said back to you. The bears weren’t boxed, just all in a big pile. So I picked one up, said something and listened to the playback. I said to my friend “that’s kinda cool” and put the bear back on the pile. The bear had picked up what I said and played it back. Then a couple more picked it up and repeated it and soon there was a talking bear cascade reaction. But the sound quality wasn’t great so each repeat was more garbled than the previous and pretty soon it just sounded like all the bears growling at each other. It probably took a couple minutes for it all to die out.

That reminds me of possibly my favorite internet video ever:

Mythbusters and the ducks

[FluffyBob]

Some of the stories from posters are funnier than the fabricated story in the OP. I am going to resist the urge to do any of these things though I love the slapstick innocence of setting off a cacophony that is outside your hearing range. I wonder if dogs and cats suffer through mistakes we never knew we made.

The reserved amusement of the letter’s author reminds me of the Smithsonian Barbie Head.