Don’t obsess on this ‘problem’. It isn’t one, and if you obsess you’ll freeze up. Relax! Both of you!
Don’t make it a game with ‘must hit’ targets. If you are expressing what you want to express, and enjoying it, you’re doing fine. Nice definition: “Sex should be two adults at play”.
Her sexual response is what it is. Some women take more time, some less. Learning about each other, and being happy to be you is part of the fun. 30 minutes? Sheesh - one of the sexiest women alive, of my acquaintence, was 45 minutes minimum.
Do focus a little more on the mind game and the emotions. Your lady really needs to feel relaxed, and secure, and loved, and appreciated and happy to get the most out of her passionate side. Your keenness to do all the right physical things is a bonus, but as a rule-of-thumb it’s the mindheart that opens the doors, the body follows after.
Do talk to your lady about what she likes, and let her show you. But don’t make this as quiz where she’s under pressure to discover and share the ‘magic switch’. It should be more a fun sharing thing like kids sharing favourite candy.
Take your time. Relationships, like wine, take time to mature. And they go through phases. Frequency and quality of orgasms may vary with time, mood and season. That’s OK!
If you have any books that say your job in bed, as a man, is to prove yourself as some sort of super-stud, and this is measured by guaranteeing EVERY women a SLAMMING 100% earth-quake EVERY time… then sling 'em in the trash NOW. These are books written by silly, ignorant men for other silly, ignorant men.
A nice earth-shattering orgasm is nice if it comes along. And yes, if you can help your lady along that direction, that’s nice for the pair of you. But the main thing is for you to share your love, share your fun + relaxed exploration of this side of your relationship, and to grow together. And if you’re doing that successfully, you’re doing fine.
Some good books for you both to enjoy: ‘The Joy of Sex’ and ‘More Joy of Sex’ by Alex Comfort. ‘Loveplay’ and ‘The bok of love’ by Dr. David Delvin. ‘The Complete Book of Lvoe and Sex’ by Cauthery, Andrew and Stanway.