Man wakes up after almost twenty years in coma, what do you tell/show him first?

Das linkie poo

The last time this guy was awake Reagan was in the White House, Democrats controlled everything else.
The Evil Empire was still so, and Berlin was split in two
Beverly Hills Cop, Indiana Jones and the temple of doom, and Ghostbusters were the top movies in America.
The World Trade Center was still around.
Shout, Karma Chameleon and Wake Me up Before You Go-Go (snicker) were all top hits.
George Michael was straight, Michael Jackson was black.

This guy has missed A LOT!

However, if I really wanted to wow him, the first thing I would show him would be a modern movie like The Matrixor Jurassic Park or The Lord of the Rings, (God but that would be so cool to show him if he was a fan of the books!) on a 50 in plasma screen with full Dolby surround sound. Remember that this guy came from an era where a stop-motion Terminator was considered awesome.

BTW buddy, part three of that movie just came out.

Not too mention parts one and two of Star Wars.



Think about it.

I’d hold off on the 9/11 news.
I would show him the Internet, tell him about all the medical advances made in the last 20 years, and take him out to see a zillion movies! (Wait. you said Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom? That rocked over anything I’ve seen recently. Scratch that one.)
I would explain to him that we’ve become a peaceful nation and accept everyone, despite race, sexual or religion preference - as equal. (Scratch that one as well! damn.)

I’d tell him we have crustless bread now? :slight_smile:


He hasn’t gotten an eyeful for 2 decades! Have mercy!

A hooker. Dude’s prolly dyin’.

The hospital bill.

Get him some cable tv. Watch VH1 I love the 80’s.


Have everyone at the hospital greet him wearing ape costumes and splice the evening news with Planet of the apes footage.

Take him to the drag strip and show him a Nitro car.

Better yet: Google on a laptop computer with wireless network.

Tell him Cher won a oscar, and Sonny Bono is a respected congressman from Colorado.
“takes off Simpsons cap”

An LCD flat-screen TV. “That’s a TV??”

A <a href=>Honda Element</a> or Nissan XTerra. “That’s a car?”

A Mac IPod or <a href=>Creative Labs MuVo</a> MP3 player. “Two hours of music on this? I was lucky to get 45 minutes out of my walkman!”

Should send the guy into future shock right proper. ;]

And do a search for porn.

All kinds, every kind.

Things to show him:

A gay marriage certificate from Canada.
The Homeland Security website.
The 2004 Toyota Prius. Then you could take him for a ride and point out the LED lamps in the signals and vehicles around him.
CDs and DVDs bound onto computer magazines.
Euro cash.
An iMac, the one that looks like a lamp.

THEN introduce him to Google and Google News. :slight_smile:

Seriously, though, it must be freaky to wake up like that. What condition is he in, all frail like an old man?

I wonder whether he dreamed?

Huh? You could (and still can) buy 120-minute blank cassette tapes.

Far more amazing would an MP3 CD player - over 11 hours of music at 128kb/s. Or, shying away from the portables, how about a DVD changer with MP3 capabilities? Five discs, each with 4.7 GB of MP3s? That’s about 390 hours (two weeks and two days) of listening enjoyment without ever having to get off your lazy ass.

Maybe coma guy would also like to see how far video games have come. Can you imagine going to sleep after a game of Asteroids and waking up find something like GTA:Vice City?

I think it would be good to start off with something familiar, maybe take him somewhere and get a really good hot fudge sundae, sit and watch the humans for a while, reassure him that it is essentially still the same planet.

Then a trip to the movies for something with lots of special effects, then a little shopping.

Jesse Ventura?


I forget who mentioned it, but in the grand scheme of things, 9/11 is really not that big a deal. (no offense intended to those who lost someone- I’m just saying it won’t get the coverage that say, WW2 does fifty years from now.)

Show him a toothbrush and tell him to go brush his teeth - he’s got 20 year old morning breath.

Nurse: “You’re in the hospital. You’ve been in a coma.”
Patient: “How long was I in a coma?”
Nurse: “Ten years”
Patient: “Wow… Who’s President?”
Nurse: “Bush”
Patient: <pause>
Patient: “How’s the economy?”
Nurse: “Lotta layoffs”
Patient: <longer pause>
Patient: “Who else is in the White House?”
Nurse: “Cheney and Powell”
Patient: <even longer pause>
Patient: “Are we by any chance bombing Iraq?”


Shade, I think you just justified my getting up this early. If such a thing is possible.

Correct links: this and this.