About that, I have my own anecdote,but in my opinion, it only serves to reinforce my point.
I was around 20 at the time. I was working (my job was legal and technical documentation) in a kind of NGO whose domain was children, teens and youth with problems (of all kind : handicapped children as well as young convicts). One of the programs was offering a one year long training for unemployed youth lacking basic formation who wanted to become educators for teens. It included a short (one week? a dozen days?) training to get a license for what I think would be called in English summer camp councillor. I was interested in getting said license, so I joined up. The session turned out to be a general nightmare, since a number of trainees had problems of their own and they never had stayed together (we were staying in a small town in Normandy for the duration of the training). Amongst other things, there was two suicide attempts. But I digress.
One of the girls in the group fell for me big time. She was really a nice girl, but I wasn’t interested in her and had a girlfriend. However, first one, then two, then three of her female friends had talks with me to try to convince me to date her (she never talked to me directly, and after the the first friend’s talk, I was avoiding her). My objections were met with all sort of counter-arguments, in particular how horrible a person I was for having seduced her and not being willing to deliver.
So, I gave in. After all, I was a relatively horny 20 yo, as I said she was a nice girl, and I was feeling guilty. I don’t remember at all how it began, but at some point, we were in a secluded room, making up. We did all you would expect us to do, but I was feeling uneasy about the whole thing, and when it came to the actual intercourse, I finally decided to call it a day and told her that we should just stay on friendly terms for the rest of the training or some similar nonsense. It wasn’t well received at all. I was previously an horrible person for having seduced her, you can image what I had become after having done everything except inserting slot A in tab B.
I really don’t have a fond memory of the rest of the training. I spent most of it trying to comfort her, convince her to get over it, and so on. For instance, she would left in the middle of a class crying, so I would follow her, talk with her, cuddle her, she would calm down till the next time, etc… (Yes I know, what you’re all thinking but I was 20 and the grand total of my previous experience re relationships and women was one). The fact that, the general atmosphere was becoming denser by the day (suicide attempts, etc…) didn’t help. The fact that, though the students were my peers, the members of the staff were my colleagues didn’t help, either.
I can tell you that in this situation the sex part has been the least of my concerns. Without the shadow of a doubt, the big issue was emotional, and due for the most part to my complete inability to deal properly with the situation, from the beginning to the end, and in particular the concept that I had some sort of moral obligation towards this girl just because she had fallen for me.