March's Malevolent Maledictions (minirants)

It’s March somewhere on the planet.

So I did something stupid and lazy - I failed to get a flu shot this year (and last year) and so I got the local Kevorkian Flu. I’m back to work now but still occasionally want to hork up a lung (and I expect this will be a few weeks yet).

So what all is chapping YOUR ass this month?


Food poisoning (quite literally). Started having issues Friday afternoon that persisted into Saturday morning, when my period arrived. That caused me to completely rule out food as the cause of my intestinal distress, so on Sunday afternoon I didn’t think twice about eating the leftovers from Thursday night’s dinner. :smack:

Geez, now I don’t want to eat anything questionable. And I’m planning on going out to the place with the huge salad bar tonight.

Hope I can keep the March Mini-rants out of my mind as I’m scooping up Baba Ganoush of Dubious Provenance…

Well, it was leap day when it happened, but I can complain about it today. :o

Waking up in the throws of a major low blood sugar incident. After having slept through over an hour of my alarm. :smack:

Fuck me, completely ruined my morning.

But hey, at least I woke up and lived through it.

Dunnow what’s the point of being in the Dark Side if you don’t eat the cookies, Chimera.

In a kind world I could eat bacon and eggs every morning - Fuck you, yogurt!

Why oh why do the spam e-mail come-ons for alleged hot babes who desire my body have to feature such improbably unattractive names?

Today’s harvest included flirtations from “Mrs. Maribel Inklebarger” and Mrs. Ethelin Norberg".

“Wanna see something hot, txt me at ‘xxx 443-4645’”

Uh, no, I don’t think so (I’m picturing foul-mouthed women at the assisted living place waiting to show me their support hose).

Quite False. The Norberg sisters are totally smokin hot. Just between us dudes though, Ethelin’s sister Gwendolin is the best.
Oh those Summer nights with just Gwendolin, a bottle of milk, and a six pack of insecticide…

I support this pit. Last year I whined on another forum about my gradual but steady weight gain, my bad experience controlling that* and whyohwhy couldn’t I find a way to lose weight without having to exercise. Someone pointed me at the Paleo diet. I tried it, ate nothing but meat and veg for 6 months. I had bacon and eggs for breakfast every day. I lost more than 10 pounds. My cholesterol shot up so high my doctor had a coronary incident. So I’m back on a “normal” diet, my cholesterol is back to normal and my weight is trending up again. :frowning:

(* I have rheumatoid arthritis which makes exercise pure punishment. After years of experimenting, I’m convinced that there’s no way for me to get enough exercise to lose weight without causing my joints seize up in angry, hot hellfire.)

If you are the sort of person who believes it is just fine to microwave Brussels sprouts daily and eat them at your desk in a small multi-person office with no ventilation system, please understand that I hate you. HATE. If you like to pair your Brussels sprouts with a tuna and hard-boiled egg casserole, also microwaved and eaten at your desk, please understand that you are not longer fit to be: 1) Employed; 2) Around other humans at all; 3) Alive.

That’s what mystifies me about Paleo as well as low-carb eating. Cholesterol issues ran in my family, so I grew up with the rule of “no more than 2 eggs a week” and “red meat twice a week at the most”. My numbers were great until I had my thyroidectomy. Loi and behold, my cholesterol has been creeping up with no change in my diet. Who knew the thyroid also regulates cholesterol? I sure as heck didn’t.

Hubby and I tried doing pseudo-Paleo/low carb and failed miserably. It wasn’t so much the carbs as it was eating all that protein.

I suspect the correct diet, at least for me, is something like this:

90% vegetables
9% meat
1% carbs

I don’t know how to achieve that without putting a nutritionist/chef on retainer. :frowning:

My mini-rant for today is actually this: ARGH, I’m hurting yesterday and today and it’s making me cranky. My arthritis is “systemic”, which means that when someone asks what joints are affected, I typically say “yes”. All of them. I have the unique joy of knowing what it feels like when my whole skeleton aches. I demand a refund!

I can sympathize. I hate smelling stinky food when I can’t get away from it (especially hard-boiled eggs.)

There’s no way mine could be 90% veggies…I’m just not that much of a veggie lover. Which, of course, is a big part of my issue :stuck_out_tongue:

Fuck people who have wind chimes. Fuck them. It’s been so windy lately I may just have to vandalize my neighbor’s set.

Great post and username.

Stupid internet was being stupidly slow and unpredictable, so I spent hours trying all sorts of fixes and resets.

And then it just fixed itself on its own. It was probably nothing on my end at all, and I should’ve just sat it out.

My rant -
Dear Sweet Husband. Please shut up about politics. Please. I get it, you think Sanders is awesome, Hillary is a shill, and we both agree that Trump is the worst thing to happen to the GOP since, well, ever. But really, I don’t care. Really don’t care. I, like, so much don’t care. And I don’t want to hear you discuss it at me every night. When election day comes I will pull my handle (or poke the electronic screen) for the Democrats and whistle a happy tune. But until then, please shut up.
I love you anyway. Love, Me.

I pit the OP.

It really helps the oblivious (like me) if you post a link to the NEW thread at the end of the OLD thread.

Dear insane bitch: it is not my fault that you did something incredibly stupid. In fact, I told you it was probably a bad idea to begin with. When you sent me that photo, I was not cheating - my SO was perfectly fine with it, yours was not. To accuse me of cheating is kind of a low blow. To drag my SO into this - who had nothing to do with it - and try to make it look like I was cheating?

I rarely see quite such a fast 180 from reasonable, sensible, pleasant person to complete fucking psycho.