This thread, commenting on the prescription drug commercials, got me wondering… I mean, advertising prescription drugs seems like a crazy concept in he first place (“Ask your doctor if Paxephedriloma is right for you” – Me: “What the hell does it do?!”)
But… What if other products were marketed this way?
You know – the way they repeat the name of the product but never tell you the good things it supposedly does. But then they have to tell you the side effects, the bad things it could do to you.
Buy the new Toyota Camry! Ask your car dealer if the Camry is right for you. Warning: Driving the Toyota Camry could result in crashing into telephone poles or other cars. Side effects may include lacerations, amputations, and death.
Levi’s. Ask your tailor about it. (Levis may cause discomfort, an overly casual appearance, low sperm count, and tripping)
Windows XP. Talk to your computer salesman. (May cause loss of essential files, extreme frustration, anger, annoyance, and in rare cases, violent tendancies. Do not use when operating heavy machinery.)
Chateau Picard Champagne: Call your bartender for a consultation. Do it today. (Flying corks can cause bruising, blindness, haemorraging, loss of consciousness, coma, or death. Side effects of wine include loss of secrets, misplacement of clothing, impaired motor functions, loss of consciousness, liver damage, and pregnancy.)
Trojan Condoms! Ask your local convenience store clerk if they’re right for you. Product occasionally tears, which can lead to HIV infection, herpes, syphillis, and/or pregnancy. Buy Trojans today!