Married By America -- This makes me ill.

I think we can all agree that “Reality Television” has been beaten to death by now, and every little idiotic idea for a new show digs deeper from the dregs of whatever marketing moron thinks this shit up.

But this show is hitting a little close to home, and there are two specific things about it I’d like to address.

First of all – I find the idea of total strangers marrying each other at the whim of the Jerry Springerites watching this shit to be utterly offensive. Talk about making a joke out of the institution of marriage, for what that’s worth.

All I know is that I got married for all the right reasons. I wasn’t trying to impress anyone, I wasn’t shooting for what was behind door number three, I didn’t want to be crowned the winner at 8:00, 9:00 central … and my marriage ended up not working. How the fuck are we supposed to watch this shit and then go “aaawwww, isn’t that romantic,” when Cleetus marries Jolene on national tv after meeting each other for the first time as they step up to the altar.

Fuck them. I hope this abortion of a program causes 25 years of lawsuits and anullments and bad press and the only good thing I can see coming out of it is that maybe the public will finally see how utterly fucking moronic reality TV is getting and ace this shit once and for all.

Secondly – this is a little touchy, but it does make me curious …

What’s that argument the “Moral Right” keeps whipping up as opposition to gay marriages? The Defense of Marriage crap? Gay marriages make a mockery of marriage?

Where are these wing nuts now? I want to see some of these people stepping up and condemning this program. If the issue is whether or not a marriage is being held in the proper regard, and not the sexual orientation of the participants, I want to see Pat Motherfucking Buchanan on TV condemning this making-a-collosal-fucking-joke-out-of-marriage show now!

I’m not even sure how that side of the political scale views this show, but I swear if nobody has a problem with this “harmless entertainment” and in the next breath rants and raves about two men or two women who are in love and who are committed to each other wanting to get married, then in my mind they’ve blown their argument about defense of marriage.


(Joe Millionaire was kind of cool though).

Sounds to me like this is a bunch of morons who’ve decided they’d rather have an arranged marriage. Problem is, though, they’re going to the wrong people to get it arranged.

Now, I don’t think arranged marriages, per se, are bad, just this current debacle.

I kind of like the idea of all the Moonies married in mass weddings sitting at home speed dialing in to hook contestants up.

And I hope that a tape of the show is entered into evidence in every “freedom to marry” lawsuit from now until legalization.

“You know this one, they are ‘preserving the sanctity of marriage,’ so they pass this Defense of Marriage Act, where two guys who’ve been together for 25 years can’t get married, but a guy can still get drunk in Vegas and marry a hooker at the Elvis Chapel! The sanctity of marriage is saved!”

  • Lea Delaria

I do think arranged marriages are bad, per se. For my money, nobody should have any input into who another person chooses to marry – or not marry for that matter.

But these arranged marriages are the doubly bad, because they’re only being arranged to sell more Fritos, or Big Macs, or whatever.

Jack Batty, I heartily agree with everything you said in your OP, including the hypocrisy of many American attitudes about marriage.

The only way to make this show entertaining would be if we could get about five or six million confederates to agree to make the biggest mismatch possible. It would be fun to hook up some hot, leggy blonde with a fat, bald dork or to hook up some preening, pretty boy jock with a Frenchie Davis type. That could be worth watching, but I doubt the casting will allow for that kind of sabotage.

“arranged marriges” don’t equal " no choice": it’s more like making the choice that you don’t want you ecnomic partner/coparent relationship to be your primary emotional/supportive relationship. There’s nothing inherently wrong with this, and it can work well when there is a great deal of traditional inertia to back it up: couples in the Western world almost have to be friends, because the gender roles in every relationship are differnet and have to be hammered out, a long, apinful process that requires excellent communication skills. A couple in a culture where gender roles are set in stone externally don’t really ever have to talk. They can if they want to, of course, and it’s certainly common for strong emotional relationships to rise out of arranged marriges, but that strong emotional tie isn’t a make-it-or-break-it thing.

That said, these people don’t live in the sort of culture that reinforces And supports arronaged marriges, and the whole thing makes me sick. Centuries from now textbooks will use shows like this to illustrate American culture, and people will titter as we do over Roman orgies.

Weren’t reality shows like 18 out of the top 25 shows last Nielson rating or something? Sounds like reality TV is far from played out.

Maybe not in quantity, but I daresay in quality.

Don’t a lot of really hardcore fundies actually like the old arranged marriage-where the father picks out his future sons and daughters in law?

It’s 9, 8 central.

All I want is to vote for the worst possible match up and watch as all hell breaks loose.

It’s not played out in terms of making money, which is all that matters.

Watching this shit is like watching a bloody trainwreck and I can’t take my eyes off! This one is a little bit too “Who Wants To Marry A Millionaire” and I can see the shit coming already.

I do agree with you 100 percent and wonder why the Moral Rights Brigade haven’t shown up.

Monty - What type of arranged marriage do you feel is okay?

Even a marriage entered into by two people in love and with eyes wide open who fully intend to live together forever till death do us part can go awry. People change, situations change, feelings change. Sometimes one person changes and the the other remains steadfast.

Marriage is a hard gig even when people enter into it for all the right reasons. This show does make a mockery of the sanctity of marriage while fully illustrating all the wrong reasons, ie: greed, lust, selfishness, boredom.

Marriage is a holy union, not a ratings ploy.
Marriage should be viewed as forever, not until I change my mind.
Marriage deserves better than this.

Diane: The type where both parties feel it’s okay and retain the right to veto the choice of the people they’ve decided to trust to make the decision. As for me, I wouldn’t participate in an arranged marriage. That doesn’t mean I’m going to make a blanket statement that all arranged marriages are bad.

Mermaid, I’ll take you one farther and add that the American people deserve better. Teenagers and children will be watching this trash and grow up thinking marriage has all the meaning of a one-night-stand with the added benefit of a tax break.

These assholes are completely obliterating concepts that should be cherished. They are making not only marriage, but love, seem like secondhand ideas that really don’t need to be considered when planning a life.

What the hell will they come up with next? Having low-income families adopt several children to see how they can make it work?

I’m disgusted with the whole craze and the television stations and pretty much everyone involved.

I’ve had the same thoughts Diogenes has, where this show is going to have every single guy who can’t get a girl take his vengence out on the attractive women by having them marry the fat, balding, unemployed geek who trades in his food stamps for comic books, and takes out all their anger at the hot guys who’ve “been getting all their chics” by matching them up with the complete opposite. That’s where the joy of this program comes from. No one is going to be matched up with their “perfect match,” they’re all going to be marriages made in Hell (what’s that say about American Television?).

That’s the appeal.

I’m guessing people are going to find out that the “minister” that marries them is really just another actor with no real legal or moral right to marry anyone. I think it would be a lot better if they got married with a screen between them, and really didn’t get to see one another until the “You may kiss the bride” part. THAT would be awesome.

But I agree wholeheartedly with the OP. This is a horrible bastardization of what marriage is supposed to be, and the producers at Fox really need to get their heads out their asses and back in the gutters.

My vote would go for matching up two preening, pretty boy jocks, myself. Or two hot, leggy blondes, but that would probably be good for ratings, so never mind.

Right now, I’m stuck waiting over 5 months just to get the permission to apply to get the actual permission to come to the United States to marry. Just to make sure I’m not a “threat” to the American People, and won’t bleed their “social services” dry once I’m there.

All in all, it will be an 9 month long process.

In the meantime, “America” will get to marry off two of its people, who have never met, for god knows what reasons, who may never survive past the honeymoon (anyone remember Who wants to marry a Millionnaire?)… but two people who live in different countries have to go through about 45 bloody pages of forms, and paperwork, and multiple copies of birth certificates, pictures, you name it… hell, fingerprints even… interviews before they get permission, another two years later to prove they’re still married… to avoid “sham” marriages / marriages of convenience, so that no one becomes a dependent of the state… Hell, not only that, but we must prove we’re “free to marry”.

So on the one hand, INS protects the “nobility” of marriage (and the American taxpayer’s pockets)… but networks, well… Anything to make a buck, right?


I wish INS was after ratings. Maybe then they’d move faster.

Carry on. I’m just bitter.