As some of you may know, there’s a reality show called “Married at First Sight.” In it, experts (or “experts”) choose among applicants and matched up three couples. The couples then met during their weddings, got married, and had five weeks to figure out if they wanted to stay married. They were given support and advice by the experts. Two of the three couples are still together, six months later.
To make this more appealing, let’s say it isn’t for a show, so you can have some privacy. Four experts will match you with someone they think is a good match and then you’ll marry them. Real, legal marriage. You don’t get to meet the person beforehand. You will get support by the experts during the trial period. Obviously, the other party is in the same boat.
So, would you do it? If your situation is such that you couldn’t do it now, would you ever?
Gag, no. I want to choose but more importantly, I want to be chosen.
No, I’m desperate neither for companionship nor fame, and I’m struggling to think of any other motives that someone might agree to this.
I’m not saying I’m a superhero or anything, but I’m a good-looking guy with a good job and varied interests. I think I’m dateable and marriageable. If I were suddenly single again for some reason, I’d rather take my chances finding someone the old fashioned way: dating websites, the way nature intended.
So it’s an arranged marriage, decided by experts instead of your parents. Too much chance for me. I think we need more time to decide to marry more than to decide who to marry sometimes, but then we know the who when it actually happens. I guess these people don’t care much about who they marry at all.
Also, my wife doesn’t like me marrying other women.
Currently, married, so I would not be eligible, but I would have no problem with this. It’s basically arranged marriage only the arrangers would supposedly have more training in what factors make people compatible with each other.
I believe that a fairly significant percentage of marriages, through history, were arranged marriages and I suspect that most of those turned out “successful” or at least “ambivalent”, where both parties had affairs on the side. Relatively few turn into anger-death-kill relationships. Basically, people are pretty adaptable, so any random pairing of two people is pretty likely to work out to some level or another, if it has to. Of course, the “it has to” part was probably a significant factor. I think that people these days hope for something more than the comfort of familiarity or ambivalence.
I also think that sites like eHarmony or other match-making services - if they actually are successful in any way - basically work by excluding anyone interesting from their service. If your entire pool of candidates are the 80th percentile, average person, you can basically pair up any two (gender appropriate) candidates and expect there to be no significant complaints. Besides the “people are adaptable” argument, I think this is also a factor in the general “success” of arranged marriages.
I’m less convinced that any sort of matching service or matching expert would have any particular success with non-standard people - highly intelligent, minimally intelligent, emotionally unstable, emotionally cold, highly political, etc. It’s a lot harder to figure out just who will be able to properly match and survive any one particular, problem candidate?
Personally, I would only go for it if I had a list of “veto” items that the matching experts had to accept, but with that I would since divorce is a legal, reasonable option. I’d just view it as a good chance to actually get to know someone, before deciding whether to go ahead with them or not, rather than as a true marriage.
I wouldn’t, but I don’t find it completely insane. My wife and I were set up by her family (I went to college with her cousin and knew most of the family for years before I knew her). We were engaged less than three months after meeting, and married three months before the anniversary of our fist date. That was fourteen years ago.
Arranged marriages are often very successful. Still - there has to be an option to opt out before you say “I do.”
I have done so, forming a reasonably enduring domestic commitment on a few hours acquaintance. But only when the right person came along, not just picking one on command out of a limited sample. You can tell, when it’s there. Or, at least, I can.
I got engaged six weeks after I met my wife, so I suppose I’m in no position to judge.
Not unless I was going to be turned over to Black Jack Randall. But he has to be a comely lad. (Too obscure?)
Well, I wouldn’t marry under normal circumstances, but the novelty factor is intriguing. If I weren’t in a long-term non-marriage already, maybe I would do it just to see what would happen.
Not too obscure, but she knew enough to know that she preferred him to Rupert… ken?
This. I could not have said it better.
Although I have to wonder about any gal that chooses me. Luckily, my wife chose me, faults and all! We will celebrate our 30th anniversary this year. We knew each other for 2.5 years before we wed.
My grandparents were married after seeing each other for less then 24 hours. It was an arranged marriage. It lasted for 65 years, when my grandpa died. They were very much in love with each other.
Two of my uncles also did this and both of these went well and lived happily ever after. 60 years and counting.
Wait a minute.
How big are her tits?
I keed! I keed!
Seriously, no way I would do this.
No I wouldn’t, for one I am disgusted by people like me and would quickly become agitated if set up with one as is the conventional wisdom. I think it is also the fact that even I don’t fully understand what I want.
I dislike 60% of all people I meet. And it’s not like I love many of the other 40%.
Unless there was an all-expenses-paid rest of my life.