Married Men and Single Women at Parties

In My Humble Opinion
1

Is it just me, or is there a pattern to the way that married men behave at parties?

More times than I can count, I have seen married men completely monopolize the attentions of an attractive single woman at a party. These married men are perfectly aware that there is usually more than one single guy at the event who is waiting for a chance to chat up the available woman. Yet these morons blithely maintain a stranglehold on the conversation no matter what signs you try to throw their way.

I don’t give a flaming flock if you are bored with your wife. I don’t give a rat’s patootie if you don’t get any at home. Get the bloody H-E-Double Toothpicks out of my way you lecherous polecat and let a suitable candidate step up to the plate! I don’t know if these guys honestly think that a single woman wants to hear all about their mid-life crisis or what, but I’m usually ready to bludgeon these nitwits senseless when I see them corner one of the only single women at the party.

I’ve seen guys do this in front of their own wives and I’ve seen guys do this when they are perfectly aware that other men are really interested in meeting this same woman. I have no other explanation than boiling it down to some variant of;

“If I’m not going to have any fun, then you’re not either.”

Has anyone else seen this happen? I have seen it occur so often that I’m seriously considering carrying a Taser to slump these spoilsports as soon as the woman turns her head for a few seconds. What explanations do you have for this happening? I realize that in some cases the woman is just avoiding being hit on, but many other times I have known that the woman was also on the prowl but still got sidelined by one of the babbling baboons. Can’t we just kill them, or is there some niggling amendment in the constitution prohibiting it?

2

Since I’ve gotten married I’ve found women want to talk to me more, and it’s a lot more fun to talk to a woman when you don’t have to take into consideration the possibility of hooking up with her. I don’t find it unusual that the single women prefer to talk to a married guy over somebody who sees all the single women at the gathering as targets.

3

And in this fashion you have won the undying love and adoration of single men everywhere. Try remembering back to when you were still single and show a little mercy on those who aren’t. You may be just the sort of married guy this OP describes.

4

I just don’t get how it is a bad thing to talk to women at parties. I get the impression you think that the right thing to do is to leave single people alone so they can talk to other single people. Do you also get upset when other women ‘monopolize’ the single women? You can always join in the conversation if you are that interested in the woman, if she’s that interesting to there should be something you have in common, right?

I’m sorry, the OP just gives me the image of some guy watching all the single women at a party closely, waiting for their conversations to end so they can swoop in and start macking on them. I DO remember how it was to be single, and I know that things got a lot better for me when my attitude towards women shifted away from that way of thinking and I started treating them as people first, women second, and potential dates last. The night I met my wife she spent most of the evening talking to other people and went home with someone else, but since we were a good match that didn’t stop us getting together anyway.

5

Let me see if I have this right, Zenster. I’m not allowed to talk to a woman at a party without asking all the single men there if it’s OK with them? I’ll talk to whomever I want to, thank you very much. You are welcome to join the converstation if you want. If I know you, I’ll even introduce you to get you started. Take some initiative or quit complaining.

6

You’ve got it spot on.

7

OK Zenster, this is the trick to get around this. You talk to the wives. You see, they are just as pissed that their men are monopolising the single good looking women. The hubby will get jealous of his wife, and chase you away, leaving the single women alone. Of course, this could make you look desperate, or get decked by a jealous hubby, but it’ll still free up the single women.

8

Yo, baby, yo! Word! Word up!

9

Um…Zenster, don’t be too quick to assume it’s the married men controlling this situation.

Back when I was single there were many parties where I glommed onto a married man just to get away from the quasi-predatory desparate single guys.

And, contrary to what you assume, yes, sometimes it IS fascinating to hear about a mid-life crisis. Sure beats the “conversation” I once had with a desparate single guy (DSG) that consisted mainly of how wonderful his waterbed was.

For some reason, it never occurs to DSG’s that a fair-to-major portion of their social problems have to do with their own selves. Yes, you’re eager for date, possibly hoping to score. Men are like that At least try not to look desparate. Develop some interesting personality trait that has nothing to do with sex so you have a real topic of conversation with which to engage single women, instead of just “chatting them up”.

10

From the perspective of a married woman, I have to echo Badtz’s sentiment that it is easier to talk to the opposite sex once all of the sexual tension has been removed. Now that I am married, I can talk to anybody without worrying if they are hitting on me or I should be hitting on them or whether or not my breath is perfect for kissing. I think the same holds true for men.

11

In my (by no means vast) experience, people at parties tend to talk to whom they want to. If a woman experiences unwanted attention by a married man, she has various polite avenues of escape such as excusing herself to go to the bathroom, or to mingle with the guests.

Similarly, if she is not enjoying her conversation, she will most likely be relieved should somebody else (presumably the single guy) interrupt. Seems like a win-win situation to me.

12

Zen, as a former sexually frustrated single guy I feel your pain, however let Vinnie the Love Doctor put this into perspective for you.

There is no question that a married guy has no right trying to pretend that he is picking up chicks at a party. But those guys, who are pigs, are in the minority.

The majority of us are NOT trying to be cock-blockers. Most likely the women know that these guys are married, so feel more comfortable talking to us than some horny scheming sweating bachelor that simply wants to get in their pants. Instead of the pressure involved with dodging your lame come-ons and panting, they know they can have an intelligent conversation with us with no strings attached.

Why do you think women feel comfortable with gay guys?

Look, when you go to a party, here’s the big secret to getting chicks: don’t even try. Don’t even think about it. Even if you do get a one on one conversation with a babe, simply listen to her and show interest in what she’s saying. Pretend she’s a dude if you have to. Once you start thinking about that poom-tang pie, it’s like showing fear to a dog. The woman can smell you evil intentions a mile away, and she will smell your horny desperation. Then, it’s all over and back to the Bounty towels, Chief.

Speaking of which, there’s a reason Chris Elliot told Ben Stiller to jerk off before having that date with Cameron Diaz in “Something about Mary”. It gets your mind off the sex, and into just having fun.

On the other hand, you play it cool and show interest, trust me, good luck will come your way. The less you try, the more legs you will pry.

Listen to your pal Vinnie, and you’ll get more pussy than you can dig with a shovel!!!

13

Maybe I have just been horribly rude for years and not known it, but unless two people are huddled in a dark corner giving each other smoldering looks I don’t see anything wrong with walking up to two people at a party and jumping in the converswation, provided it is a conversation you have something meaningful to add to. This is called “mingleing.” If you want to be smooth about it you work from one group to another around the room, so that it dosen’t seem like you are “targeting” anyone. As you talk to these other groups you, magpie like, pick up glittering scraps of information and gossip which you can then give to the pretty girl who caught your eye.

14

I agree with the responses about married men being
more relaxed, and therefore approachable. Go hang
out with them. Or with any small group. Quit whining and
just join a conversation. If a spark happens, it will
just happen, not because you try to force it cornering
some poor lone woman. Chill out! They’re right-
we can sniff out your intentions a mile away!

(“Vinnie”; ran into you on another post-now you’re
using little rhyming lines? Did you memorize those
off of the bathroom wall of your high school while
sneaking looks at Playboy and hoping…someday…?
Geez dude you sound so dorky and desperate! :slight_smile:

15

I’d guess that with the apparent attitude in the OP, he’d having the same luck even if there weren’t any married men around.

16

I have absolutely no clue what you are talking about, but I will take your remarks as an insult. :rolleyes:

17

What is this business about a pecking order as to who shall dominate single women at parties? Women are not party favours to be held out as offerings to be preyed upon by single men.

Ever stop to think that each person, male or female, has the right to communicate with whomever they chose, and that you should respect such choices?

Consider freely mingling with all guests, male and female, single and married, with a view to developing friendships.

Lose your hierarchical, predatory approach.

18

I’d just like to pipe in with the opinion that Vinnie’s little Ann Landers column may be the single greatest piece of guy-on-guy advice ever posted here. Bravo!

Not that, um, I, um THEY, um, ever really talk about women like that. Nope, not us, never…

19

My luck is just fine and most of you are so off base about my own attitude towards women that it is hilarious. If you only knew…

I still maintain that a lot of married men who engage in this behavior are jerks. I do not treat women like the punch monkies that so many here are conjecturing about. Actually, my intentions have usually been quite honorable, since I have always been searching for a wife and not a quick lay.

None of this really matters to me anymore, but I sure hope that some of the married men who see themselves in the OP might have second thoughts when they’re at a party.

20

Aw, don’t hold back. Tell us!