Hats off to Mean Joe and **Paul in Saudi** for bringing this problem of lust-crazed women to our attention.
I run into it everywhere now - even at the supermarket, where the checkers shriek and throw themselves at me wantonly. And it’s hell trying to keep them satisfied when you’re in the express lane.
[QUOTE=DudleyGarrett]
Are these women hot?
[/QUOTE]
And do they have big boobies?
Hmm. Maybe not tell the hubby if the wife in the OP was as hammered as that, it could have been a one-off. But if there’s even a hint of it again, definitely meet the women (privately, imo, both to keep it discreet and also to stop the three of them ganging up on you) and tell them in no uncertain terms that it will NOT be happening again.
And I agree that this should be a wake up call for your own relationship. Do you see a future with your girlfriend, and by that I mean a good one, not one like these marriages? If not, you need to leave.
Good luck man.
[QUOTE=Shirley Ujest]
And do they have big boobies?
[/QUOTE]
One would expect some Great Tits, but you fooled us with an unexpected tern.
[QUOTE=Mr. Excellent]
Now that is awesome. I like that line - where’s it from?
[/QUOTE]
Shakespeare’s Titus Andronicus. You name it, ol’ Willie’s got something to say about it… 
Shakespeare’s great (although I doubt he coined “nobody misses a slice off a cut loaf”) but Nikos Kazantzakis made a better argument for satyrism in Zorba the Greek:
“He who can sleep with a woman and does not, commits a great sin. My boy, if a woman calls you to share her bed and you don’t go, your soul will be destroyed! That woman will sigh before God on judgment day, and that woman’s sigh, whoever you may be and whatever your fine deeds, will cast you into Hell!”
Of course that day may come sooner than need be if you’re shot in the back of the head while traducing another’s troth doggy-style
[QUOTE=MeanJoe]
Lately I am having a real problem with my married friend’s wives (2 different married couples). I’ll toss in one couple who are engaged to be married, but the woman in that relationship is also the problem.
[/QUOTE]
While I understand being really pissed at these women, I’ve got to wonder why it would be happening with three different woman simultaneously.
There’s many a guy who gets hit up by a married woman (obviously the reverse is also true), but when it becomes the rule rather than the exception, then you have to wonder if there isn’t a little more going on.
You mention that you’re in an unhappy relationship and are vulnerable to temptations. While these women shouldn’t be looking outside their relationships, at the same time, you may also want to look if there are things you are doing, saying, sending messages, which lonely women pick up on.
Reexamining, fixing or getting out of your own relationship could be a start.
[QUOTE=TokyoPlayer]
While I understand being really pissed at these women, I’ve got to wonder why it would be happening with three different woman simultaneously.
There’s many a guy who gets hit up by a married woman (obviously the reverse is also true), but when it becomes the rule rather than the exception, then you have to wonder if there isn’t a little more going on.
[/QUOTE]
Not precisely on point, but an Onion commentator found himself faced with a similar quandary…
[QUOTE=TokyoPlayer]
While I understand being really pissed at these women, I’ve got to wonder why it would be happening with three different woman simultaneously.
There’s many a guy who gets hit up by a married woman (obviously the reverse is also true), but when it becomes the rule rather than the exception, then you have to wonder if there isn’t a little more going on.
You mention that you’re in an unhappy relationship and are vulnerable to temptations. While these women shouldn’t be looking outside their relationships, at the same time, you may also want to look if there are things you are doing, saying, sending messages, which lonely women pick up on.
Reexamining, fixing or getting out of your own relationship could be a start.
[/QUOTE]
This is a great point and one my mind has been boggled over. Why now and why from 3 different people. Old MeanJoe is a handsome enough guy and I’ve generally not had a problem getting a girlfriend but I’m not the type that women throw themselves at.
Wife 1 - Been separated from her husband for the last year but they’re “going to counseling” to try and fix things.
Wife 2 - I had no idea there were significant problems in their marriage, so attacking me at their house took me by a bit of surprise.
Fiance - Not as close of friends as the two above but “part of the gang” and we socialize together. This group of friends is separate from the group of friends with the wives above. This is probably the more innocent of the three and the more subtle comments that leave me wondering “WTF?!?”.
If it wasn’t me, I’d have to laugh at the absurdity of it. I mean, why didn’t they do it when they were single and I was single?!? Hell, I’ll share myself with all of them in that case. 
As for signals I maybe sending, that is something I’m going to have to contemplate further. I don’t think I’m doing that but I will try to examine my behavior a little closer.
MeanJoe
Wow, this is certainly the most popular thread I’ve ever been involved in. 
I’ve been busy with work but have now read through all the responses so far. Thank you very much, all of you, for your suggestions and insight. Lots for me to think about.
I think the best thing I’ve taken from this thread and your responses so far is that:
1.) I need to put a hard-line in the sand immediately and enforce it if there are additional incidents of this behavior.
2.) Limit interaction to the guys as much as possible but make sure I’m “protected” if it is mixed company, i.e. my girlfriend is there, etc.
3.) Really make a decision about my current relationship. We’ve talked before about some of my needs that I feel are going unmet and there have been promises to try and improve those areas. I’m torn right now between how much longer do I give to see change vs. time to cut-bait and get out.
Thank you again for letting me vent my frustrations and for your helpful comments. I will try to respond to specific comments later.
I have to say, the comments were far more polite and beneficial than I expected in The Pit! No one even called me any names!
MeanJoe
Hey, you’re a fucking douchewad!!
(Not really, just had to knock you down a peg. You started it!)
[QUOTE=MeanJoe]
I have to say, the comments were far more polite and beneficial than I expected in The Pit! No one even called me any names! 
[/QUOTE]
You are a meany. So there!
Good luck Joe. And please keep us updated.
That time you you gave that kid your jersey after he gave you his Coke likely cemented your status as a highly sought-after back door man.
MeanJoe, you may want to reconsider your screen name after this… 
[QUOTE=MeanJoe]
Wow, this is certainly the most popular thread I’ve ever been involved in.
I’ve been busy with work but have now read through all the responses so far. Thank you very much, all of you, for your suggestions and insight. Lots for me to think about.
I think the best thing I’ve taken from this thread and your responses so far is that:
1.) I need to put a hard-line in the sand immediately and enforce it if there are additional incidents of this behavior.
2.) Limit interaction to the guys as much as possible but make sure I’m “protected” if it is mixed company, i.e. my girlfriend is there, etc.
3.) Really make a decision about my current relationship. We’ve talked before about some of my needs that I feel are going unmet and there have been promises to try and improve those areas. I’m torn right now between how much longer do I give to see change vs. time to cut-bait and get out.
Thank you again for letting me vent my frustrations and for your helpful comments. I will try to respond to specific comments later.
I have to say, the comments were far more polite and beneficial than I expected in The Pit! No one even called me any names!
MeanJoe
[/QUOTE]
WERE THEY HOT?
Dude, if he’s not going to provide those women with sweet satisfaction, he’s sure as heck not going to be providing you with any fapping material… 
[QUOTE=DudleyGarrett]
WERE THEY HOT?
[/QUOTE]
They’re taken. Any and all hotness, male or female, beyond the need for eye-candy is negated by the presence of a significant other on the part of either the admirer or the admiree.
I wish I had some advice for ya Joe, but I’ve never really found myself in that situation. I would say just keep your lips and pants zipped tight on the matter, and see how it plays out. It’s not your job to try and help them fix their relationship problems, especially since you haven’t been asked. Protect yourself as much as you can.
Another thing I’d keep in mind, MeanJoe, is that you don’t really know their agendas.
I don’t mean to take anything away from your virility or anything, but part of the reason these situations arise is that the woman wants to really punish her husband. Sleeping with a friend is really going for the soft underbelly. Maybe the husband had an affair or she’s convinced he did so she’s going to even the score and you’ll end up with seventeen kinds of the clap. Maybe it’s a setup where she wants to make sure you’ll be caught *in flagrante * so she’ll get her revenge. Maybe she’s pregnant and wants you to be the father. It’s impossible to list the agendas she might have and you need to stay a zillion miles away. Maybe she hates your girlfriend’s guts and wants to prove to herself that she’s better. Wimmen! Who knows?
It’s possible, too, that she’s starved for attention and thinks you’re a great guy. Hannibal Lecter said it very well:
Hannibal Lecter: First principles, Clarice. Simplicity. Read Marcus Aurelius. Of each particular thing ask: what is it in itself? What is its nature? What does he do, this man you seek?
Clarice Starling: He kills women…
Hannibal Lecter: No. That is incidental. What is the first and principal thing he does? What needs does he serve by killing?
Clarice Starling: Anger, um, social acceptance, and, huh, sexual frustrations, sir…
Hannibal Lecter: No! He covets. That is his nature. And how do we begin to covet, Clarice? Do we seek out things to covet? Make an effort to answer now.
Clarice Starling: No. We just…
Hannibal Lecter: No. We begin by coveting what we see every day. Don’t you feel eyes moving over your body, Clarice? And don’t your eyes seek out the things you want?
By virtue of the fact that they know you (and your witty sense of humor or kindness toward children or whatever), they may be off to Harlequin romance land. But their thoughts and actions are driven by needs and are not reliable. And to a degree the same applies to you, since your relationship isn’t going well.
IMO it takes two strong people to make a relationship work. All the compromises, arguments, etc. demand a couple that is willing to work on it and be strong enough to give of themselves for the benefit of the team. Right now, I know those women aren’t able to fulfill the obligation because they haven’t finished the past and so cannot start a future and your weakened state suggests you aren’t, either. The friend you would betray is worth a hundred of these women…don’t go there.
[QUOTE=featherlou]
I have one word for you, MeanJoe - boundaries. Emotional, psychological, and physical boundaries that you figure out for yourself, and you put them in place and keep them there when dealing with friends who are members of the opposite sex. Part of your psychological boundaries should probably include not discussing marriages or problems within them with these women - you’re their friend, not their therapist. The physical boundaries would include not sleeping at their houses - no opportunity for bad behaviour tends to decrease bad behaviour, funnily enough.
[/QUOTE]
This, and not getting drunk enough to be tempted, where you wouldn’t be if you were more sober (while in their presence, I mean.)
