I totally love this. The OP should print it out to be sure and get the wording right.
Are these women hot?
Wow, what a fucked up situation for you. You must feel so betrayed by the people you thought were your friends. You are absolutely justified in feeling the anger you do, but I just want to say this OP wins you about a million respect points in my book. It’s not always easy to do the right thing, but there you are doing it.
Slithy Tove has it right. You’re the only one with your head screwed on right and the more you associate yourselves with this dysfunction the harder it is going to be for you to extricate yourself from it.
And FWIW, I think moral character in a man is totally sexy. I have no doubt you will find someone beautiful, unattached and appreciative of who you are as a human being. Go. Be positive, wonderful you.
And when come back, bring pie. 
Could be worse – at least it was not the hubby who was hitting you up for sex.
First of all, you did the right thing and I salute you.
I would at least hint around to your friends that their wives may be up to something. Maybe they already know how their wives are. Maybe they will ask you for additional details, that’s when you have to decide how much to tell them. But I think they deserve to know, these women could be sleeping around and get pregnant or a disease.
I’m surprised you’re not getting more “More water glideth by the mill than wots the miller of; and easy it is of a cut loaf to steal a shive.” type of comment from the hound dog gallery.
If these women were really just wanting sex or affairs, they’d find someone with no relation to their spouses and their spouses would likely never know. These come-ons were for show and/or to inflict damage; very unhealthy and wise of you to stay away.
I agree wholeheartedly with these.
I don’t think this is the right way to go. I’m a chick too.
You think? I would think the friends of their husband would provide a convenient and taboo outlet. It’s the oldest story in the book, best friend sleeping with your wife.
I too have found that married women hit on me often. It makes me especially uncomfortable when they are married to a friend or coworker. The wife of a former boss would sit on my lap when she got loaded and call me at home - once at 11:00 at night.
Why oh why do just the married ones want me?
Thirded, with an eternal reliance upon people’s ability to deny and rationalize
My thoughts exactly.
Why not? I firmly believe that way too many people get away with incredibly awful behavior simply because nobody’s willing to call them on their shit and drag it out where everybody can see it. These women have done something that is so far beyond any sort of polite behavior and so outside all the rules of friendship and love that they appear to be beyond any sort of rationality. They are going to hurt their husbands/boyfriend, themselves, MeanJoe, his girlfriend, any kids they may have and anyone who might be coincidentally standing nearby when the shit hits the fan, and they need to know that they will NOT get away with it scot free. There is nothing private about someone trying to fuck someone who’s a mutual friend, and they’ve made MeanJoe complicit in the whole thing. Not only does he have to deal with peeling tacky bitches off his dick, he now has to keep quiet to his friends about the tacky bitches they live with and stands to lose friends when it all comes out. Why in the bloody blue hell should HE have to keep their secrets that he never asked for in the first place? He’s the one who has to be uncomfortable every damned time he’s around any of these women and their guys.
Fuck 'em. They gave up their right to privacy when they invaded his. Shaming is an effective social tool to enforce standards of behavior and it’s criminally underused in many cases. Letting all three of them know that they’re A) tacky, B) unoriginal and C) busted keeps him safer from retribution and might even force them to take a damned good look at themselves and see just how shitty they’ve been to someone they call a friend. Maybe they’ll wise up.
Whoa there tiger. You’re reading an awful lot into the OP that isn’t there.
There is something private. It was between each one, their husband, and Mean Joe. None of them involved the others. They didn’t try to jump him in Penn Station.
You don’t think any of them are uncomfortable? Maybe, maybe not. And there’s a big difference between keeping secrets and overtly choosing to blab them.
There’s no reason any of that has to be done to all three of them at once.
I was going to say the exact same thing. If they’re sleazy enough to make a pass at you, they’re sleazy enough to lie about it. I would try very hard to hang out with your buddies without their wives around. If you have to go to a function where the wives will be there, try to bring a date and make sure not to be alone with any of them.
You might think of your strategy like a card game, MeanJoe. Publicly humiliating one of the women, with the proof to back it up, is a great smackdown card to have…but that doesn’t mean you play it because then she has nothing to lose by poisoning others against you. IMO it will work much better as an unplayed threat.
And speaking of that card, if you tell me that my wife tried to sleep with you, you put me in a really bad position. Granted, you have proof, and that’s great. But there’s a good chance you’ll lose a friend. As a guy, I don’t like to think of my wife picking you over me and maybe I can’t get beyond “Don’t shoot the messenger.”
So remember it’s like a nuke and you can’t predict or control all the collateral damage it might unleash. JMO YMMV.
Yup. With whom does his loyalty lie? With his ever-cheatin’ wife, that’s who. And who can recoup from the loss of face to a buddy that his wife wanted to cuckold him, using said buddy? Not many, if any.
Even if the guys believe you and dump the hussies etc–you will still remind them of their pain. Any way this pans out, you lose your friends. The only way I see through it is to lay low, get a GF (a real one) and only hang out with the guys.
Women can be so nasty sometimes. Just my 2 cents.
I have one word for you, MeanJoe - boundaries. Emotional, psychological, and physical boundaries that you figure out for yourself, and you put them in place and keep them there when dealing with friends who are members of the opposite sex. Part of your psychological boundaries should probably include not discussing marriages or problems within them with these women - you’re their friend, not their therapist. The physical boundaries would include not sleeping at their houses - no opportunity for bad behaviour tends to decrease bad behaviour, funnily enough.
Now that is awesome. I like that line - where’s it from?
How about an anonymous letter/email to the husbands telling them to watch out for their wives?
I’m empathizing with your vibe right now MeanJoe. I’m kind of in the same situation as both you and a those women.
I left my wife a month ago, after close to nine years of absolute, unflagging fidelity (which she paid back with abuse, mistrust, and emotional infidelity). Two weeks into the separation, I went to a party, got completely hammered, and hit on (not “made a pass,” more like “wanna come back to my place and drink some more beers?”) a woman.
Mercifully, she saw that I was asking more from booze and internal turmoil rather than sleaziness, and gently turned me down. I was cool with it, we hung out some more, and then I took a cab home and slept it off.
Nevertheless, I woke up the next morning underneath the crushing weight of excruciating guilt (and a hangover.)
It took me awhile to realize that the physical separation from my wife - which I had perceived as the solution to most of my problems - is really only the first step. For all the shittiness of my marriage, my wife provided something for me, and I need to learn to either provide it for myself or learn to live without it before I’m fit to pick women up at parties again.
Especially since I’ve still got a wedding ring on my finger.
Anyway, I hope you find some peace in your own relationship, and good for you for resisting the temptation to betray your friends. I don’t think I can honestly say that I would have been able to do the same given the state I was in a month ago. You should be proud of yourself for hanging tough.