Picture this. You have two friends, Guy A & Guy B. They have been best friends with eachother for a long, long time. Both are married, and Guy A has two small kids. However, Guy A’s marriage isn’t going so well.
Then, Guy B decides to cheat on his wife with Guy A’s wife. He gets her pregnant, and she leaves her husband and essentially abandons her kids. Guy A is understandably angry, but eventually he cools off. He even gets remarried and has another kid. He goes out of his way to maintain a relationship with the ex-wife for the sake of the kids, and is civil to Guy B.
Do you see any need for your entire group of friends to rally around Guy B and the cheating wife, shunning Guy A and excluding him from all social events??? Do you see a need to convince another friend to ban Guy A and his new wife from the annual New Year’s party that he’s been looking forward to, the one social event he actually gets to attend between working and taking care of his kids? You know, the kids his whore ex doesn’t even come to see?
Is this rational, or are you all just TRYING to be the biggest asshats you possibly can be and make him even more miserable on the one year he was actually starting to enjoy the holidays?
Yeah, I’d be the new wife. It just makes me so mad. He called a friend to ask him a favour tonight, and the friend relayed the message that we are not invited to the party. He’s been talking about this party for two weeks, just like he always does. He loves this party.
I just wish I was able to take him to some awesome better-than-the-shithead’s party, but I’m not a very social person and currently have maybe three friends, all of whom are also not very social.
That sucks. It’s not uncommon though. A few years back when my best friend started fucking [and the dating] my girlfriend I was the one who got treated like a pariah. Fucked up but for some reason that’s how it works. I’ll never know why.
That really sucks. Could you talk to your wife about encouraging hosts to invite you too?
My first husband and I have remained such good friends that he, his wife, my second husband and I all celebrated what would have been our Twenty-Fifth Anniversary if we had remained married.
