I guess I should have said, “… I wouldn’t worry about her leaving me for another man or woman.”
two words …
mmmmmm, pornstar!!
Spooje, the prude, checks in.
NO FREAKIN’ WAY.
I’m a very forgiving person, and I don’t care what someone has done in the past or does to pay the bills, so long as it’s legal.
But I’m not about to marry someone who is not going to be faithful. My definition of faithful is no romantic and/or sexual contact outside the relationship. I simply will not put up with it. If someone objects to my philosophy, then it’s probably best that we don’t get hitched.
spooje, I completely agree with you. I would never marry a man whose job it was to put his dick in other women. I have no problems with porn or the people in the industry as long as they are happy with it, and I have watched some too. Call it double standards if you must, but I will not participate nor marry someone who participates in porn movies. That’s all there’s to it.
Okay, spooje, why? Why are you so certain that no outside sexual contact could be permitted? Absolute rules like that don’t make a whole lot of sense to me unless they’re explained. Absolute rules seem to require particularly good explanations when it comes to romantic interests.
soda, is there any particular reason for such discrimination, or is it completely random?
Frankie, I didn’t mean my posts to be confusing at all. What’s the issue?
Yes, Wonko, I’d even be willing to marry an electrician, provided her family offered a really compelling dowry.
The issue of sexually transmitted diseases has been mentioned a couple of times here. I must say, it warms my little heart to see people automatically thinking so sensibly. Now, if you are so well informed and aware of risks involved with the prospect of having sex with lots of partners, would you be able to love someone who is ignorant of those risks, or who denies the validity of the threat? Doubt it. I suspect that a smart porn star would take a lot of precautions. Knowing the medical histories of his or her coworkers and being tested regularly would be kinda expected. I don’t think any of us would have any interest in getting involved with a stupid porn star (for more than a couple of hours). Now, think about it, when was the last time you had a blood test? When was the last time you requested someone’s medical history before agreeing to have sex?
I would be terribly uncomfortable with my wife being paid for having sex with someone else on camera. I beleive in fidelity. Call me old fashioned if you will. Hey, if some other couples are ok with it, fine. I’ll never be ok with it.
I have no good reason, other than it would drive me crazy. Which I think would be bad for the relationship, and for my serenity and well being.
I would not look down my nose at someone who worked in that industry. I could easily be friends with someone in that industry. But I could not marry them.
I can totally respect that, spooje, and I doubt anyone will ever try to change your mind. I was just curious.
Tymp, again I must agree with spooje. I’m not a puritan, not (terribly) oldfashioned, not prude, I just wouldn’t want my man to put his dick in other women, professionally or not. I wouldn’t want to be paid for letting someone put his dick in me either. If some do it, fine. If some put it on film and sell it, fine. I might watch it too, if I was in the mood. But I would go nuts if my SO was the star.
So, it’s an issue of fidelity, not profession. Okay.
I would be comfortable with anyone’s profession, provided there was a hard separation between work and home. I don’t view professional sex as infidelity. That’s just me.
Oh, it’s definitely about fidelity. I would consider it cheating even if there was a (in my mind) lame excuse that “it’s just a job, honey”. That dick is between you and me buddy, no one else. Or rather, that dick is… oh… nevermind.
Love is all levels, spirtual, mental, physical. Fidelity for me is not just about where his dick goes. It about all levels of connection. He can f**k other people, and discuss philosophy with other people, and laugh with other people, but he does all three with me and me alone. I figured this one out when I was cheated on and my response was, “You talked with her?” <whimper>
Its easier to keep the ‘all three for me’ rule by eliminating one in specific, sex being the easiest to define and control. However, as long as I am safe, and the only one that completes his being I’ll be a happy camper.
If you marry a porn star, you can forget about getting pregnant and having children together. They’ll pull out at the last minute and squirt it around the outside each time.