Mary Lou Retton: Keep your perky outta my living room

Has anyone else seen the commercial featuring America’s Darling Mary Lou Retton?

She and her three equally-perky, probably-cloned daughters, are promoting the pop-able perk-escince provided by pills purveyed by GNC vitamins. She and her ilk need more perk like Philly needs more murders.

C’mon. What’s with the four matching irridescent blue sweatsuits? Eating breakfast standing? Playing with mom in the driveway? And just how many hits of crack did the middle-kid do before filming the hopscotch scene?

Og, my teeth hurt just thinking of this saccharine-sweet dreck…

You know, back in the day she was my idol (hey I was a young girl who wanted to be a gymnast, what can I say?) but just reading that makes me glad I have not seen the commercial.

I’d never heard of her before this, but it made me curious. Something so good requires linkage.

Ooog, the horror. The pitiless, ceaseless perkiness!

Are those really her daughters? There’s more cute in that commercial than a sack full of puppies.

Well she’s pushing what amounts to placebo pills but I’d still tap MLR.

Honestly, I would.

[ Lou Grant ]

"You’ve got spunk.

I hate spunk."

[/ lg ]

And here I thought we were going to see her kids doing gymnastics.

Oh no!!!

They are playing hopscotch. That really takes some energy to keep up with that. I’m sure she’s glad she took her GNC Vitamins.

If what she’s selling is the stuff that has made her look 25 when she is 40, I’ll buy it.

Perkiness abounds!

sugar shock, man.
total sugar shock.

Mine, too. Heh. Heh heh. Heh heh hehe!

I’ll be in my bunk.

So that’s what you call it - idol - huh?

In other frightening gymnastics news, I inadvertently learned today that Bart Connor and Nadia Comanieci (sp?) have a four year old kid and run a gym somewhere in Oklahoma.

Actually, I knew that they were married, I’m not sure if I knew they had kids, but it doesn’t surprise me in the slightest that they’d be running a gym.

Apparently I am a closet gymnastics geek.

Didn’t know who she was before, but now she’s on my like list. If she wasn’t shilling for GNC, she’d be nearer the top of the list.

I tried this stuff and I can’t say enough about it it’s kinda like methamphetamine but without all the chemicals or sense of paranoia or crack bugs or sores or gaunt face or anything and it really does make you perky in fact it gives me so much energy that I feel like I could run a marathon or build a log cabin or swim the Atlantic using only flutter kicks or wrestle a narwhal underwater for an entire hour without any breathing apparatus or get into Guinness with an entry for the world’s longest courtroom filibuster lasting four and a half months of course I’d have to become a lawyer first but with these pills I could probably do that in about forty-five minutes including the bar exam because they’re just that good but you know what’s really amazing is when you take four of them all at once you wouldn’t believe how it makes you feel it’s the most incredible thing I’ve ever crap I think I’m crashing [sub]oh God I’m so depressed.[/sub]