The Fellowship of the RingThere once was a Hobbit named Frodo
Who was told by a crusty old dodo,
You must take this ring
And destroy the thing,
Or Middle-Earth is doomed, in toto.
The Two Towers
The fellowship’s broken, and how!
Sam and Frodo are on their own now.
Aragorn will keep
An eye on Helm’s deep.
Will the Hobbits end up spider chow?
The Return of the King
Aragorn has reclaimed his crown,
Barad-dur has come crashing down.
Frodo, sadly, must scram.
“See you later old Sam,”
He says as he rides out of town.
The Art of War by Sun Tzu:
Through ancient bon mots militaristic,
Sun Tzu offers advice both strategic and tactic:
Divide, conquer, and will,
And don’t fight uphill…
And so on, all disarmingly aphoristic.
(Revealed in the final line.)
A murderer thought he was smart
To conceal his crime by his art
In the end he confessed
His mind quite distressed
By the sound of the telltale heart.
Shakespear’s Julius Ceasar
Romans and countrymen, lend me your ear
Fair Ceaser’s death should not bring you to tear
The good that men do
Often gets buried too
May it not be with this fellow here.
MAD magazine, by The Usual Gang of Idiots:
Let’s make fun of: modern mores, the movies,
Adverts, commerce, and Cold War spy agencies!
Add marginal scribblings
And cynical fold-in[g]s
And another generation goes to the “juvies”.
Lincoln’s Gettysburgh Address
[spoiler]Years ago (make it fourscore and twenty)
Our forefathers found freedom plenty
But now we are hounded:
Can a country so founded
For long hold on to its sov’reignty?**
Oops, hope that didn’t spoil it for anyone. 
Fairy tales by the Brothers Grimm:
Cruel and merciless German folk-tales are these,
In which life is harsh and offers no ease.
'Though some modern critics object –
Both fundie, and the PC set –
But they’re not seeing the Schwartzwald for the trees.
Your new friend is one of a kind.
He’s a miracle worker, you’ll find.
Does the fact he’s satanic
Send you into a panic?
Relax, it’s all in your mind.
Synchronicity by Carl Jung:
[JUNG]: Life often affords certain contingencies
And these are not mere coincidences, (please!);
As I struggle to explain
In logic circular again (and again!)…
[READER]: “Jung, were you smoking doobies?”
His sword from a stone he did take.
Then, he tried burning his wife at the stake.
A bastard named Modred
Left Arthur for dead,
So he went for a cruise on the lake.
Uh, what Skammer said.
The Book of Jonah
“Go to Ninevah!” ordered the Lord
Instead Jonah jumped overboard
For three days he camped
In quarters quite cramped
Till the whale finally tossed him ashored.
The TV Guide because I just might be running out of ideas!
[spoiler]This pricey TV schedule, viewed by some a collectible,
Is so un-compact and unwieldy, it’s risible.
Stuffed with celebrity puff
And other trite stuff,
Copies multiply in hoarder’s attics like the Trek tribble.
A Modest Proposal by Jonathan Swift
For the problem of Ireland’s poor
I am humbly suggesting a cure -
Eaten flesh of a child
Is both tender and mild
With a delicate musculature.
“The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock” by T.S. Eliot
http://www.cs.amherst.edu/~ccm/prufrock.html
In J. Alfred’s mind he is a poet
But he does not dare ever to show it
The mermaids are singing
And his heart, it is brimming
But his lady love never will know it
and Eliot’s “The Hollow Men”
http://www.island-of-freedom.com/ELIOT6.HTM
With stuffed headpieces, the hollow men hang,
On the banks of the river, the wind mournfully sang
They dare not meet the eyes,
Not to Heaven they’ll rise,
They go out with a whimper, sans bang.
You give me a pain the tummy,
And bring me with tears to my knees.
With unanswerable questions
And obscene suggestions.
Why is there no “Straight Dope for Dummies”?
The Rime of the Ancient Mariner by Coleridge.
An old man who sat on a gate
told a tale of his terrible fate:
with what he confessed
he annoyed wedding guests
in every country and state.
Scarlet O’Hara southern belle,
Says fiddle-de-dee, war is hell.
In spite of her bravery
The nostalgia for slavery
Makes you feel glad the South fell.
Arthur Dent was really annoyed
The day that Earth was destroyed.
But his alien friend
Said, “It’s not the end.”
Come meet the paranoid android.