Um… don’t give up the day job. 
Little Miss Fickle:
Miss Fickle could not make a decision,
Her views constantly in a state of division,
She could not choose a hat,
Or pick this over that,
“Botherations”, she cried in derision.
Ah, the joys of fatherhood.
The Karma Sutra
To make your love life quite fantastic,
You need to become more elastic,
As the missionary position,
Is for the out of condition,
Try these - they’re far more gymnastic.
The notorious 1987 Supreme Court decision in Bowers v. Hardwick:
As a censure 'gainst a sin known as “sodomy,”
It reinforced a queer dichotomy:
As both gays and straights
Do indulge in their tastes,
But to the straights the Court said, “It don’t bother me.”
nitpick: it’s “Kama Sutra”. 
A well-dressed Wall Street dude
Had a secretly violent 'tude
He practiced the arts
Of cutting off parts
Such delectable finger food!
I’m not really seeing the point of the spoilers anymore. It’s a pain in the tuchus to highlight all these great posts!
the collected works of Mark Leyner:
He should trademark his style as “Mark Leyner[TM]”.
He’s the prose equivalent to the Sit-'n-Spin,
But his pop references prolix,
Are now stale Gen-X hydrochlorics
In the way that coke’s out and heroin’s in.
Actually . . .
American Psycho by Brett Easton Ellis
A young Wall Street broker it’s said,
Had a habit of killing folks dead,
He wore fancy suits,
And butchered prostitutes,
But don’t worry it was all in his head.
The Starr Report - Kenneth Starr & co.
The evidence leads us to conclude:
with behaviour salacious and rude
(not limited to lying
despite the denying)
that Willy is one slipp’ry dude
I’m tired of the spoiler tags too.
I run the question database for an on-line trivia game (www.pyrotomountain.com).
I would love to use some of these as trivia questions. The site is not a profitable enterprise… is there anyone that would mind their work being so appropriated?
Actually . . .
American Psycho by Brett Easton Ellis
A young Wall Street broker it’s said,
Had a habit of killing folks dead,
He wore fancy suits,
And butchered prostitutes,
But don’t worry it was all in his head.
Now that you bring it up, this would make a good basis for a quiz. Name the book based on the limerick, should be fun. If you so desire, feel free to use any of my limericks. Just make sure to direct us to the quiz when you’ve got it up. 
Tom Wolfe’s The Right Stuff:
Test pilots Walker, Crossfield, and Yeager
Had the “right stuff,” but were none too eager
To be “Spam in a can”
'Cause a stick pilot’s the man…
So Glenn, et al., made the astronaut leagers.
[slight wince]
leaguers.
Still wince-inducing, though.
Withnail & I – screenplay & movie by Bruce Robinson:
Meet two idle thesps, “Withnail” and no-name,
Staying drunk and/or stoned is their game.
'Til Uncle Monty’s lust most frantic
Froze no-name in homosexual panic,
And now their friendship will never be the same.
- Nothing to spoil so here ya go:
The Adventures of Augie March by Saul Bellow
Raised in a Chicago hovel
Augie was bound to meet trouble
Such a rich tale of life
And its woes and its strife
It’s *The *Great American Novel
Edwin Drood was a charming young bloke
But someone wanted him dead - no joke!
Who was the foul killer
In this Victorian thriller?
The answer, my friend, is choke
(To read all the spoilers on the page, select all (ctrl+A).
A poet named Derry down Derry
Penned limericks cunning and merry
But almost every time
He rehashed the first line,
That recycling Derry down Derry.
http://edwardlear.tripod.com/BoN/bon010.html
It would probably be better either to get individual permission from the writers of the limericks you want to use or blanket permission from the Chicago Reader. Not saying “no” isn’t the same as saying “yes.”